Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Julie and Bryan, Thinking of you both all the time! I pray
for you both daily!!!!

February 22, 2007

It will be four years this year, where did time go! It seemed so long to get to this point but yet its here. Not
sure how we all did it. I just can't believe your really gone!

February 19, 2007

i keep trying to call you and then i realize...damn...it's real

February 17, 2007

From time to time I find myself thinking about you. I think about how I wish we hung out more. How I wish I would have met up with you at the Phoenix that night you called me. I think about your wife and wonder how she is doing. I just miss you. I don't know what else to say really. I just thought that I needed to talk to you again. Love you, Bryan.

Beven

Friend

February 15, 2007

Lost love from yesteryears silently played in my mind,

I stop to ponder what the future will hold, but it only makes me cry.

If only we could learn to hope and treasures we could find,

Then maybe, somehow, some way, perhaps today I would stop asking "why?"

February 12, 2007

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

February 11, 2007

Juli, keep those butterflies alive, you will bring them with you when its time to be with Bryan again!! That in-love feeling will never go away they will hold until you see him again sweetie!!! LOVE NEVER DIES!!!!! GOD WILL HAVE
A WONDERFUL RE-UNION FOR YOU AND BRIAN, BUT YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR JOB HERE FIRST, BRIAN WILL WAIT!!! THEY SAY WHEN A PERSON DIES EVERYTHING STAYS THE SAME, NO CHANGES, THEY (THE SPIRIT WORLD) PICKUP LIKE IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE THEY PASSED ON!! YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN NOT TO WORRY!!

February 6, 2007

I was thinking about one of the last times that you came to visit me at SJRMC. You were in uniform, striding towards me with a huge smile on your beautiful face. My face felt flush as I smiled back at you, and my hear began to race. You had a way of doing that to me....

After you left, Margie told me that she could tell by seeing the two of us together how much in love we were. What a gift we had, and what a shame that it was all taken away by a crazed criminal with no regard for anyone's life!

February 5, 2007

Juli, that is a beautiful reflectiom, you are truly an
angel on earth. NO ONE knows your pain, some people can move
on after losing someome and some stay in love and wait till
they are reunited again. I know! You are hurting so much and
I pray for you!

February 2, 2007

Defining a Widow
by JV

Death-it's finality reverberates like a final bell toll, ringing throughout my heart, making me feel hollow inside.

Alone-the way I am accustomed to being every minute of every day since you died.

Sorrow-my life feels full of this lingering feeling that knows no boundaries.

Healing-something I pray for on a continual basis.

Time-an enemy which repeatedly laughs at me, smiling knowing no means of what cruelty it symbolizes.

Life-continues to move on though I know it will never be the same as it was with you.

Striving-to somehow rebuild and recapture an essence of what joys my life was with you.

Fear-knowing in my Soul that I cannot and will not recapture the beautiful existence our lives symbolized together.

Acceptance-my life is what it is, definitely so very different that what my hopes or dreams envisioned it.

Agony-a word to describe all of the emotional ups and downs since you left.

Hope-for someday to feel more complete and happy than I am this minute.

Written by JV for BV

February 2, 2007

You are heavy on my mind today and I have an overwhelming feeling to pray for your family. These verses popped into my head, maybe someone needs them today. I try to imagine what it is like up there, but I am sure we don't even have words beautiful enough to describe it. Some day, we will be up there, too, to spend eternity with the Creator. I am praying for your family, and especially Juli, and hoping some of this peace that is mentioned will be felt for them all.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

family friend

February 2, 2007

I miss you so much. I don't care what it is that so many people say about "time heals all wounds". What a big, huge friggin lie. My life will never be the same without you in it. Some days I really am appreciative of everything, but right now I just feel utterly and completely sad. I sometimes wish I knew what the future holds for me. I feel so full of doubt and hatred at this very moment. I know you understand why.

February 1, 2007

The longer your gone your still not forgotten!!!! I will
always remember you! I am so sorry your life ended the way
it did. Always an angel in blue! Rest now and forever!

February 1, 2007

I got my official transcript in the mail yesterday. While I am happy and very pleased with my accomplishment of finishing graduate school and receiving my degree, it just kills me that you are not here to share these moments with. I feel like the start of Year 4 is going o.k. so far, but I continue to feel so alone, so desolate, like no one "gets" me. I was thinking of how much I have had to change since you died. But then, some things will always stay the same. I love you and I just wish I could get the best years of my life back.

January 26, 2007

Juli, I'm glad you are moving forward and healing well, but
boy do we miss your beautiful reflections =) Your words to Bryan were always so deep and loving.

January 25, 2007

Juli - I think of you often and pray for you...I am a South Bend citizen and visit Bryan's page often just to check on you and reflect on the loss we all shared that awful December day...none of us felt the loss as much as you did, however. I admire your strength and know that Bryan is smiling down on you. Take care Juli...

January 24, 2007

I did something today I had been wanting to do for a long time. Thank you for all of your help in accomplishing it.

January 20, 2007

"Grey Street"
Dave Matthews Band

Oh, just sitting while she listens
She says I dont need this place
It seems a million years shes stuck here
But says nothing of what she thinks

She thinks, hey,
How did I come to this?
I dreamt like anybody else one night
I would be a beautiful princess.

But then the roads in the park fall
And then she rode the line in
And the colors mix together to grey
And break me out

Oh, when Im indifferent
She prays to God most every night
Although she swears he doesnt listen
Theres hope in her that he just might

She says, I pray
But then my prayer fall on deaf ears
Im supposed to take it all myself
To get out of this place.

She feels the lumps in the heart fall
And she rose up in the back
She hears the cars scream out from outside
And she whispers sometimes about this
But the colors mix together to grey
And wake me up

Oh, he grows up living
He says take what you can from your dreams
Make them real as anything
It takes the work out of the courage

She said, please,
Theres a crazy man standing outside my door
I live on the corner of a dead end street
At the end of the world.

Oh, and the rocks out in the heart fall
And she dreams her way to life
And she knows no one will lift her
So she might as well do it herself

And then bummed out and worried
Of leaving city life
But all the colors mix together to grey
On grey street
On grey street
To grey street

Oh, when it comes down in your loving
Oh, well then baby its right
You say you think you are nothing
No one else will do it for you
Reach up and grab hold of the sunlight
When you are waiting for whats right
Youre holding on your heaven
Wont leave you, yeah, yeah...

And the colors mix together to grey
Wake me up, wake me up, wake me up
To grey.

ASCAP Bama Rags

January 18, 2007

The holidays and your birthday have passed, people will say that your loved ones can now return to normal living, but any survivor knows that is not the case as we think of our loved ones every hour of every day. My thoughts are with your loved ones, keep watch over them and protect them and also those still out on patrol watching over the Thin Blue Line.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

January 17, 2007

I love you.
I miss you.

January 12, 2007

My god, I feel so sad for you Juli, I can't believe what you have been through these last few years and I hurt for you, you may not believe that but, its just so sad the road you have been on for so long and just to think that you did this alone, I know you had family and friends but you were the one who had to go through it, and even after 3 years (which is not a long time) you have managed to keep things in order. I would love to have your life force!!

January 8, 2007

Happy Birthday My Love! I can only imagine how beautiful it is on the Other Side. Please know I am doing my best to hang out here, but I seriously cannot wait until it is my time to come be with you. I still hate the fact that we are separated.

Until We Meet Again....

January 6, 2007

Thinking of you and your family on the day that marks the occasion of your birth. Were you ever really little??!! You are thought of often and dearly remembered by all of us! Continue to look out for all your family and friends left here! Happy Birthday!!

January 6, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BRYAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!! YOU ARE FOREVER YOUNG!!! THEY SAY WHEN YOU DIE YOU STAY THAT AGE FOREVER, HOW BEAUTIFUL IT MUST BE TO STAY YOUNG FOREVER MY FRIEND!!! ENJOY YOU DAY IN PARADISE!!!!!!!!

January 6, 2007

Happy Birthday Verk

Friend

January 6, 2007