Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle mourning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods:
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Wystan Hugh Auden

November 19, 2007

“Do everything with a mind that lets go . . . If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom. Your struggle with the world will have come to an end.”
–Ajahn Chah

November 15, 2007

Juli, the song "Where are you Christmas" by Faith Hill reminds me so much of you. I hope these up coming holidays
are brighter with the beautiful memories of your dear Bryan.

November 14, 2007

Let yourself love again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one can
replace Bryan and the love you have in your heart for him. You have a huge heart and there is enough room to love again! It's ok I promise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 13, 2007

Mrs. Verkler, I know this is the most difficult time of the year. Its sad no matter when we lose someone but to also lose them during the holidays is very very sad. As this time of the year approaches know that people you don't know care and pray for you! My husband is a law enforcement officer and I know what it is like be afraid everyday for his life, you just never know what is gonna happen. God bless you and I pray that this year being the 4th is alittle less painful and the good memories are front and center =) Happy thoughts through this holiday season. God Bless

Laurie
Melbourne Florida

November 10, 2007

Sweetheart,
I am trying to find the "new me". I think for the longest time I have been stuck in my own head, chasing one dream to the next, fruitlessly searching on and on for the one thing that has really for the most part, been right in front of me the whole time. It's funny how objectivity can raise your awareness and potentially change your whole perspective on life.

I love you and miss you.

November 9, 2007

Bryan,
The holidays are coming up quickly! This year is going to be hard for my family; mom will be at heaven's table for thanksgiving not at ours. The holidays bring a sense of dread and sadness when you've lost someone you love and can't share it with them. Dad doesn't want to celebrate at all, but we reminded him that if nothing else we need to be thankful God made a heaven, and thankful for the peace we will find in knowing we will be there someday. That is the only thing that has made our sorrow tolerable, knowing where we will all end up. We are trying to cling to that, but it is hard sometimes.
Now that death touched our immediate family, I think of yours even more often. It sucks, but we are trying to live life to the fullest and honor mom that way. I know your family is doing the same with you! I just wanted to let you know that others have noticed how strong they all have been, and how they are honoring you through their lives, living through it when it seems impossible. I'm sure you are proud of them, as I hope mom is of us! We will continue to pray for your family and your wife, especially through the next couple of months! I can't believe it will soon be another year for you. We haven't forgotten, and we won't!

old friend

November 7, 2007

Time is moving fast, but it doesn't feel like it could possibly four whole years since my last birthday with you. I miss you with everything in my being.

I Love You!

November 4, 2007

Thank you so much for the reflection for blessing Bryan's family. It is SO very difficulty to believe that four years are fast approaching. Four years for me has felt like an Eternity without my beloved Husband. God Bless You.

November 2, 2007

I know you felt this way about your wife because you made it very well known!!



Aint it pretty when she walk
Aint it pretty when she talk
Aint it sexy when she move
She’s so sexy when she move
It’s so lovely when she do
When she do the things she do-ooo

Its lovely, oh its lovely


Girl look good when she sit
Down at the bustop lickin on her lips
I seen a lot of chicks
I gotta admit
But You the baddest girl that I seen in a minute
You got nice eyes
Real nice lips
Got a pretty face
Tig ol’ bits
I just wanna pay you some compliments
Please don’t think that im tryna get in it
But baby if you wanna gimme a lil something
Here go my number girl call me if you
Wanna get to know eachother better if you dont that’s cool
I just had to come and compliment you
Had to let you know you had a beautiful view
Your front says UH
Your back says OOH
Theres a million things I can think to do
But right now I just want to watch you, just watch you, watch you

Aint it pretty when she walk
Aint it pretty when she talk

Aint it sexy when she move
She’s so sexy when she move
It’s so lovely when she do
When she do the things she do-ooo

Its lovely, oh its lovely


Your just gorgeous so beautiful
When God made you, he made you slow
He took his little time, plus you were the halo
One of a kind you the star of the show
Girl you shine, every door you glow
You so fine and I know that you know
You prolly get mobbed everywhere that you go
You need a body guard cus your body like WHOA
Walk down the blvd, boys like WHOA
Walk down the courtyard, boys like WHOA
If you want a best friend girl let me know
If you want a boyfriend here I go

I love you, I love you, I love you….

Aint it pretty when she walk
Aint it pretty when she talk
Aint it sexy when she move
She’s so sexy when she move
It’s so lovely when she do
When she do the things she do-ooo


Its lovely, oh its lovely

November 2, 2007

Verk, I cant believe we are coming up on 4 years next month. God be with your family always!

November 1, 2007

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Always yours and forever...

October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2007

"Goodbye Boys in Blue"

What is that wonderful sound,
It's coming from the cemetary ground,
Sounds like bagpipes from a military tattoo,
A large number of people gathered wearing blue.

It's a police funeral conducted in military fashion,
Marching in line with pride and passion,
They are saying goodbye to their fallen comrade,
All performed with the precision of a military parade.

An observer cannot feel anything but proud,
To have touched the life of the person in the funeral shroud,
To give your life in such a way,
Heroic to the end, the supreme price to pay.

The dedication of the boys in blue,
To sacrifice their lives for you,
They are eternally in your debt,
The sacrifice, you do not regret.

By: Glynn Withey
Kyneton, Australia

October 30, 2007

Lately, there has been a lot of touch and go mentality for me. How easy it is to think about the past and wish for it to be the present or even what could have been the future. Those broken dreams still haunt me and they are extremely painful to think about. I guess I will never really know just what our lives would have been, but it hurts so badly to wonder and to know that I will never know. I suppose that is some of the hardest parts of dealing with death, loss and tragedy. I feel like at this point in time, I could definitely write a book based on past experiences. It would probably be a sad book, but I would hope that perhaps it would have some kind of happy ending. I continue to hope for that but in the end the reality is that maybe there is no happy ending for me....I keep wishing though. I love you.

October 29, 2007

Juli, I hope you are safe far from the fires that plaque
Southern Cali. I saw Ghost last night and that movie reminds me so much of you and Bryan everytime I watch it.

October 23, 2007

Pray Juli, everything will be ok you will see =)

October 22, 2007

I am in tears right now...I can't explain why, I can't explain the how's, when's, why's or where's...
I miss you!!!

October 19, 2007

I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. How much pain, suffering and grief can one human being endure? My only hope is that somehow, some way, this awful black cloud will stop following me around.

I love you.

October 18, 2007

It is amazing after all of the time that passes that this time of year can make me so sad. Tomorrow will be two months (to the day) until your EOW. Is that possible? FOUR YEARS? How could that be? I honestly feel like it has been eight or ten years without you. People who have never found their Soul Mate will never understand what the loss of a Soul Mate is like. It is the hardest thing in the world not only to explain, but to try to help people who have never found their Soul Mate understand. It's like trying to teach people who have no capacity to learn. I think after almost four years I have given up trying to explain the aforementioned. It's not worth wasting my breath. Either people who know me know, or they don't..it's that simple. And the fact of the matter is, I don't really care if they get it. I know after all of this time that what matters is US. What we were to one another, our memories, our love, our life and all of our beautiful dreams that we had together will live on. I remember how we used to talk about our children and how they would be Olympic athletes. It absolutely kills me to think about that now, since it is painfully obvious that that part of my life will never happen. I am so saddened to think about all of the dreams that we had for our son (since you told me I would NEVER have a girl, remember?) The talk of getting our son on skates as soon as they could walk, you throwing the football around with him on a Saturday afternoon....etc...
Oh baby, I miss you so very much.

I love you and only wish that we could have had a chance to fulfill all of the beautiful, wonderful things that we had planned for our lives together.

October 12, 2007

"For us there is only one season, the season of sorrow. The very sun and moon seem taken from us...it is always twilight in one's heart. And in the sphere of thought, no less than in the sphere of time, motion is no more. The thing that you personally have long ago forgotten, or can easily forget, is happening to me now, and it will happen to me again tomorrow."

Oscar Wilde

October 12, 2007

The sun is shining, and the warmth of the sun on my face and the nice cool breeze reminds me that Fall is indeed here. I remember how much fun our last Fall together was. 2 days ago, as I was rummaging through the Halloween decorations, I came across that witch that we put on our front porch. It reminded me of so much...I know deep down you thought that that damn witch was hideous but you didn't care. You loved me enough to let me put it up for the whole world to see on our porch.

So many days, those are the small idiosyncracies that I love and miss about you. I miss the fact that you knew me SO, so, SO very well. And no matter how much time elapses, there will always be so many memories that lie deep within my heart. I planted some yellow mums in my garden to commemorate the mums that I planted outside of our home. What is bizarre is looking back, how could I have known in October 2003 that we literally had less than two months to enjoy each other's love for one another?

There was no way to know that those were our last days together....and yet, I find myself longing for some of those last memories that I had at 214 George St. God, I miss the strength of your hands clasped around mine and the sound of your voice. I miss knowing what kind of mood you were in by the tone of your voice..I miss knowing, loving and having you in my life.

Love Forever and Always~J.

October 4, 2007

Julie there is a book I really think you would like, its
called "ANew Kind Of Normal: Hope filled choices when life
turns upside down" Thinking and praying of you always!

An officers wife

September 28, 2007

There is absolutely no timeline on grief. You plod your way through the journey the best that you can and hope for the best. Years go by, months come and go and you just hope beyond all hopes that eventually, you will find out how good life can be again.

September 27, 2007

God, what I wouldn't do for just one more chance to wrap my arms around you, feel your arms wrapped around me and to feel the love that you had for me. I loved the feeling that I had in your arms. I miss every single thing about you, and time does NOT heal all wounds. Time makes things heal a little, but then there are certain events that bring up the wanting, the never having, the fact that I will NEVER have again. Reality seriously bites.

September 25, 2007