Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Dear Tom,
We just wanted to wish you a wonderful and beautiful Happy Birthday. I am sure that Heaven is an lovely experience, and I can't imagine the party that they will have for you. It is still completely amazing after almost a year and a half and to those of us left on Earth who will never understand why it is that you had to leave. There are so many that say "everything happens for a reason", but I don't think anyone in their heart really believes that.

Thinking you today Tom,
Happy Birthday!

P.S. We will be tipping our margarita glasses to You tonight! :)

Forever Your Friends and Your Family in

May 25, 2005

Thinking of you everyday..especially today on your birthday. Love you and miss you always!

May 24, 2005

My Dear Tom,
I think of you each moment of every day and the ultimate sacrifice you made for everyone left behind.How unfair it seems and still no sense to be made of any of the tragedy.Lives torn apart and changed forever.

You are always in my heart and every thought.I loved you when you were taken from us,I love you now,and always will.You are loved and missed by so many.I just close my eyes and see your smile.Many days that gives me a reason to go on.You and the person you were and all you meant to me helps me understand the day to day life I face alone without you.Your strength and how you stood for all you thought and believed in gives me my strength through all times.

I love you forever and a day.
I'll see you in my dreams.

Deb

March 26, 2005

"The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us." - Jean Paul Richter

Tom,
You're not forgotten ...

December 14, 2004

WE still grieve for thee.....

OMY/COP/WPD
12/13/04

Chief of Police / Olen M. Young
Wauneta PD Nebraska

December 13, 2004

Dear Tom,

As we near the 1 year mark of your death, it troubles me to know that your daughters must still face the difficult task of going into your home and being among your personal belongings for the first time since your death. This is so long overdue, and has been delayed due to unpleasant circumstances and behaviors of others so soon after your death. I only hope that when this time comes, they are able to feel some comfort and closeness to you when they are surrounded by your presence, as they are two young girls who have had to experience so much of the ugliness life and people can willfully inflict on others at such early ages.

Peace be with you and your daughters.

December 10, 2004

Pain. Pain is not having your father of 22 years, in attendance the day you graduate from college. Pain is not having your father there to walk you down the aisle, with your mother, to give you to your husband-to-be. Pain is knowing your children will never know their grandfather. This is real pain suffered by the two daughters left behind, who loved Tom so unconditionally and expected nothing in return but his love and support, which he gave them every day of their lives.

Tom, You are loved and missed,
A Family Friend

December 6, 2004

Tom,

I don't know where to begin. The girls are going through a lot again this time of the year. I will be so happy for them when they can go on with no worries. I know they are not looking forward to the upcoming holiday, all of us will be there for support. Holly will be coming home for a couple of weeks and Lindsay is doing well. To see them all grown up makes cry sometimes. You are in our thoughts everyday and I know you watch out for the guys. You have always been around when needed. Thank You.

You are missed deeply.

November 24, 2004

My Dear Tom,
The time in each day continues to be longer and longer.The dreary days are becoming more plentiful with the change in weather.And the pit of emptiness I feel inside certainly grows larger as the days go by.Thinking of you and wanting so badly to remember each day what we were doing this time last year.I don't ever want to forget or put aside anything that we shared.

Of course Saturdays are filled with all the games and knowing when the games were away you'd be playing cards with all the guys at the Club.These days I still find myself waiting for the phone to ring,you'd be asking what plans we had for the evening and what I had been doing,then Les or Paul would yell something in the background and you'd go back to playing cards.Those guys all miss you alot.The room and chatter isn't the same without your voice.

I miss you so.There isn't a second in a day that goes by that I don't think of you.How do I continue through this life without you and your love and strength to guide me? Friends are great,the people here at work are kind and stop in often to just say Hi.But when the day is over I go home to Lily and Ashley and the hurt of you being gone from my life is again reality.And it's awful!

I find some peace in prayer and I am thankful for the fact of all I do have left in my life.I just have no acceptance in the fact that you no longer are here to be in this life that we had prepared ourselves to spend together forever.I know the feelings I have are none that I would wish for anyone to have to go through.Yet other officers continue to die and leave behind others who will also share these endless days of lost,lonely emptiness.

I was reading some cards the other night that you gave me as I often do.How special they were when you gave each of them to me but I had no idea how much each of them would mean for the future.

You stepped out of my dreams and into my life.Turning all that I ever hoped for into reality..You stepped out of my dreams and found a way to touch my heart like it's never been touched before..You stepped out of my dreams and showed me love the way it was meant to be..and now I know that you and you alone,are the love of my life..my dream come true.

The hardest part of all is knowing that we are not apart by our choice.Neither of us wanted to leave the other.I know one day we will be together as one again.I know your love will stay a part of me as long as I live and when my time here is complete I'll share with you all that you have gone ahead to prepare for us.

I will continue to love and honor you and all that you stood for as a person and in your job.You were a kind,caring loving person.You were never afraid to take a stand for what you believed in and I know that's one of the reasons I lost you here on 12/13/03.

I miss you more than I can express.You always completed me.
I love you forever and a day.I'll see you in my dreams.

Deb

October 16, 2004

My Dear Tom,
When I wrote to you last the Irish had not yet played their first home game.And as you know they won!And then last night they played Michigan State and won!As I watched the games I could hear every remark you would make.They have the new Freshman with the speed and definite talent that you always hoped they would get for this year.And as I watched the game I knew you would have complained a little about the turnovers but over all happy with the outcome of a win for the Irish.

Yesterday was a day of reflecting on many areas of our life as most days are for me.I took a walk in the a.m. down by the river where we always went when we walked at night.I looked at the trees already changing colors,I watched the river flowing with no end in sight,and looking up at the sky so blue.All those things that we all take for granted everyday,I couldn't help but wander how many seasons will I see in my life? I certainly never thought I'd be walking and sitting on the river bank alone this year and asking God why? Why my Tom?

All those small things always were important to us though.We enjoyed the beauty of a nice day and even appreciated the rain that was needed to keep the life in so many things.Now the snow altho pretty in the beginning and admitted also by you,you didn't like.I can still hear you say,"Hey,baby have I ever told you how much I hate cold weather and snow?" And I would say "Only every time we get in the car!"

Those thoughts always bring a smile to my face.The memories are what get me through each day since you were taken physically from my life.There isn't a road I drive,a song I hear or person I see that doesn't bring back OUR shared wonderful life.You are so much a part of all I still feel and do each day.

Even through all the sadness and emptiness I feel,the love we share still helps me through even the worse times.I've told myself I want to be a better person and continue to love and honor you and all we shared and believed in.You and the love I feel for you has made that possible.

I love you forever and a day.And I'll see you in my dreams.

Deb

September 19, 2004

I think this is a wonderful site for individuals to leave their feelings along with their memories shared with these loved ones lost. Deb, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are enduring. The ultimate sacrafice Tom and Bryan made will never be forgotten. There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of what happened December 13th. May you know that you are continuously in my thought and prayers.

Walkerton Resident

September 18, 2004

I come to this site often to read the reflections for Tom and Bryan. I can't imagine the pain that Deb and Juli have gone through these past nine months. I think of you two alot. Your reflections you leave give me a better idea of what type of men both Tom and Bryan were. Two wonderful, fun and loving individuals. They will be missed by all.

Mishawaka Resident

September 14, 2004

My Dear Tom,
It's hard to imagine that I could possibly think of you more today than any other but I am.Today is the first home game of the Irish that you,Larry and Gary eat,lived and breathed for from Sept.1 thru usually the first week of Dec. Sue,Deb and I knew the phone would be ringing,the discussions would start about what coach was staying and who should go,and of course the Refs were always one sided against the Irish. And the "Ole Sports Talk" call ins. I especially remember you getting ready for games when the Irish played out of town.

You would have all your food in front of you. Lily at your side with her snacks. Two phones one with caller I.D. and the other one that you always said you could hear better on.Then when the phone would ring you'd check the I.D. and if it wasn't Larry,Gary or Schroder you wouldn't answer it. Of course you usually rang Garys phone off the hook every time a bad call was made or the coach made a play that you had called before it was played.And we won't even discuss the language. What I would give to have you and every minute of those games back again.

The cloud came over me last evening and I don't know how I will get through these days. I feel so alone and empty with you gone. I do smile as I think of all the different things you would say at the games and then the pre-game and post-game discussions you,Larry and Gary would have. I always told you,you would have made a good coach!

None of it means the same anymore like most things we always did together.I still have to try every day to just go on. There are days, most days in fact that I just work go home and then repeat the same again.

Living here without you hasn't gotten any easier.I put on this exterior look but the empty hole in my heart and stomach seem to consume me most days.I do feel that you are at my side and continue to watch over me.

Lives at the M.P.D. are ever changing some that you would not expect. I feel alot of the changes have came about due to the many emotions after the tragic loss of you and Bryan.I think of each of them everyday. I know many of the guys don't know what to say to me and I feel the same toward some of them,but there are those "special" ones that I know stop in to talk and share a story of the past. Those are memories I hope none of them forget and I want them to always share with me.Those times keep your memory alive!

This is a very hard day and for many others who shared our love for the N.D. games also.I don't know how todays game will end but as we talked last year and all the previous years there is an air about being in that stadium.And win or lose you were always a TRUE Irish fan!

As ever I love you more than words can express. As long as I live you will not be forgotten. Loving you was so easy because you loved me back just as much!Missing you is as often as the breath I take to stay alive.

I love you forever and a day. I'll see you in my dreams.

Deb

September 11, 2004

Dear Tom,
Well, your a father-in-law and I'm a mother-in-law. Our little girl is married now. As beautiful as she already is, imagine how breathtaking she was in her wedding gown. Though the plans you and I had made for the celebration had changed as they just wouldn't be the same without you, you will be with us all during Lindsay and Josh's special evening.

August 30, 2004

My Dear Tom,
And yet another long,lonely month has gone by without your smile,your kiss and the warmth I felt by the love you always gave that completed us. Today Lindsay and Josh are to be married if their plans have remained the same.I woke up thinking of you and all we would have probably done in the past week to prepare for it.I do wish them both only half of the love and happiness we were able to have in the time we were together.That will be enough to see them through any obstacle they face.I did send Lindsay the bottle of champagne for graduation we had planned for her.I know you wanted that for her.

I spent a day with the Sieradzkis and Taverniers at the lake.It was another one of all the bittersweet times without you.We certainly knew you were there in spirit with us.Of course the infamous tubeing picture was on the shelf of you. Bob is so proud of that.We talked of all the times we had shared together and how all of them were ended with something crazy you would do.

We loved our life and lived it that way.It is so hard to face each week-end without you.We always did so many things together.I'm sure all the miss you at cards.No function is the same without you.The F.O.P. just had the annual corn and sausage roast.Tough night,not the same yet another first attended alone without you my love.Yet being there I got the sense that you were there at my side and I found myself looking for you in the crowd.I'll never get use to being without you.How is that possible? You still live in my heart,mind and soul.I don't know how to deal with the total emptiness that being without you has left in my heart.

I long to hold you,touch your face and kiss your lips.I can close my eyes and see that wonderful smile.All that we shared in the years pass.We even shared our work together.I look at the photos over and over.The happiness,I looked at our lives as typical but now so special each thought each little thing now a wonderful memory.

I don't know that I can ever accept these days alone without you in my life. None of this is right.Life just goes on but certainly not the way I want any of it.

What else did I expect? Plenty,I expected to grow old with you at my side.We looked forward to retirement and our home eventually on the lake and someday a boat.We even had it named,and another bittersweet thought,the name we had chosen was "OFF DUTY'" which is exactly what you are.

There is no getting over the love we shared,the plans we made and all that we lived for.
I loved you then.I love you now. I will always love you.Some people say never say never and that nothing is forever.

WRONG.

Ilove you forever and a day! I'll see you in my dreams.

Deb

August 21, 2004

Tom, the first time I met you was when I started working in dispatch. Deb was yelling at you for giving the "new guy" such a hard time. I wish I could remember just one of those hilarious jokes you would tell. I probably would just screw it up anyway. I've heard so many wonderful stories about you since that night. I only wish I could have gotten to know you better. For the short time I did know you, I am a better person. I am very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with you and Bryan.

I am on the road now. I'm on midnights to boot. I don't take anything, or anyone for granted. Thankyou Tom, thankyou for your sacrifice so I could be safe. I want to honor you and Bryan, I will, I'll be true to myself and my family. I'll be true to this profession, and I will never forget you and Bryan. You're deeply missed.

Patrolman in Indiana

August 19, 2004

As a fellow 1979 Mishawaka High School graduate I think I speak for everyone in the Class of 1979 when I say that Tom Roberts will be sadly missed. Tom was a great guy. May Peace be with you.

Deanna Baker Milum

August 10, 2004

My Dear Tom,
I'm writing to you today with a heavy heart and so much sadness inside.Your mother is now with you,your dad and brother in heaven I'm sure.She can dance with you just like the picture of the two of you that was by her at her funeral. I accept her death as I know she no longer suffers any pain. So many other things I cannot accept nor do I understand. I know you know those things because I still believe you are with myself and others in spirit. I still find no reasoning or acceptance in your death. Nothing is right in my life without you.

I still want to walk with you in the park and by the lake. I still need to talk to you about things I cannot say to others.
I want to watch our favorite movies together and cry when they're sad and you comfort me and sometimes shed tears also. But that was o.k. too.

I want us to continue all our plans and dreams just as we had planned for so many years.
I know it will be so hard for Lindsay with her wedding coming up. I know you will walk by her side in spirit and I will hold her close in thought and prayer. I know these times have been hard for both the girls. It was nice to see Holly on Fathers Day. I really don't understand their thoughts but I have given them their space. All I've ever done is love you and want to do the right things to honor you. Even when it meant taking a back row seat.

I never wanted any of this to happen as many didn't but I lost you, my hopes, my dreams, my everything. And I go home at night only to our memories together, but still all alone and empty inside.

I love your family because they were a part of us and all we did. I didn't just meet them the day before this tragedy that took you from us and tore all our lives apart. I don't understand any of this and why I am the outsider now with some. I never wanted any of this.

All the things some see as problems or hatred should be bringing everyone together with all that has happened. Please guide me through these times and continue to walk by my side as I know you always have. You were the one to always know what to do.

Your brothers need you with them now. They have been through alot. More than many familys ever have to face in a lifetime. I will always consider your family mine and be there to help them in any way I can. Just as they have helped and cared for me since your tragedy.

Our lives have been separated but the love still stays the same. You are in my heart, mind and soul. My wish is that all of us who are left behind to deal with this horrible corrupt world can find a love and peace within ourselves to share with those who mean the most to us.

I can close my eyes and see your wonderful smile. I can picture exactly how you look. That kind, caring smile that made me fall in love with you.

I have such memories of the places we went.. like going to our favorite restaurant, dancing to our favorite song that I still sing to you. The gifts we gave each other. And every private moment and secret we shared.

You have my heart and all we loved and shared are more precious today than ever.You gave me a million reasons to love and cherish all we were together. I love loving you and I have from the very beginning. If only everyone could love enough. I am always missing you,the love you gave and the strength you had for us.

You are loved and missed by so many. Lily still waits for her Daddy and knows the uniform and police car when she sees them. The guys from the Dept. continue to be a big family to us. The kindness shown at the passing of your Mom was very admirable. All of them are very dear to my heart. You would be so proud. You loved your job and I know why you always fought to keep the closeness of all the officers.

I could talk to you all night. But I'll see you in my dreams and hold you close in my heart.
I love you forever and a day. xoxo

Deb

July 24, 2004

My Dear Tom, It's so hard not to count the seconds,minutes, hours and days that you have visibly been gone from our lives. I know that six months seems like an eternity when I think of holding you and sharing the love we had. And yet it seems like only yesterday that the knock at the door came. This tragedy has affected and destroyed so many lives. I accept that your physically gone from my life but I don't accept the fact that your love and memories are gone with you. The first day without you was the worse day of my life. I really didn't think any thing could be worse than that hurt but the hurts just keep on coming. As we always said one of us without the other just wasn't an option in our thoughts. This act of evil that took you from all of us has left so many hurts and unknowns. I pray that your love for all of us and the spirit in which you loved and cared so deeply can continue to guide us through these unbearable times. It's so hard to face the days and nights without you. I try to fill the days with work and even most of the evening hours alot are spent the same. So many special days come and go and God everyone is with the one they love and life goes on but not the same for us. I read that prayer helps mend the holes in your heart and stomach it has't seemed to do much for mine yet. I suppose I'll have to keep praying. I just exist each day and at the end of each day I do thank God for the strength and will he gives me to move on to the next day. It doesn't get much easier as of yet. Good friends and family certainly have helped with the talks and continued stories we share. I drive down the street with a destination in mind and I usually end up going to talk to you. We shared so much and became as one how do I do this alone now? Your spirit and love that I still feel all around me guides me through these times. You have been greatly honored as a Police Officer,and deservingly so. None of these things can make any of this better in my heart or mind. I lost my everything. The great love of my life,my hopes, dreams and future. Everything that was perfect is now an unknowing nightmare. I just want to wake up and this be just that a horrible nightmare. Too much time has passed and I find that waking up each day has't changed much except it's another day without you here. I love you Tom forever an a day! Always Always thinking of you and all we had together.

Deb

June 15, 2004

Legacy's Ties

Gone but never forgotten
your legacy will live on
your beautiful daughters
will pass it along.
So bright and shiny
displayed with pride
the badge of courage
you wore on your side.
So close to your heart
for where else should it be
you held it as dear as
your girls Holly and Lindsay.
As you look down on your daughters
and watch over their lives
the children they bare
will be legacy's ties.
There will be stories to tell
Oh how proud they will be
when they tell their children
about their brave grandpappy.
The stories of honor, they will want to hear more
about the brave, honest man who wore badge 2054.


Tom, you accomplished so much in your all to short life and we are so proud of you. You gave so much to so many people, we are all very blessed to have had you in our lives. Most of all, thank you for giving my sister and our family the beautiful gift of life through Lindsay and Holly. We love and miss you. May you smile down with pride for you certainly have earned it!

Shelley O'Konski

May 18, 2004

Dear Tom,

I'm not going to use this as an opportunity to cry and epress all the pain I'm in over what has happened to you but rather to remind everyone to celebrate having the opportunity to be part of your life in whatever capacity. You brought levity to any room you entered and displayed integrity to day-to-day life situations and I personally believe I am a better person for having known you. It is truly all about YOU.

May 6, 2004

Tom
We lost a huge devoted Irish Fan, tailgating will never be the same at the "Bowl Bound" Bus without you. I will never forget the time you made me eat deer meat and told me it was salami. You were a great friend to the Schroder family and we all miss you. New Years Eve will never be the same without you Tom. Tom, you were a great friend to our family and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to know you. It's just a tragic that this had to happen to two great police officers who were just protecting there community and doing the job that they loved. GO IRISH!!!!

Kelley Hobson-Friend of Roberts Family

May 5, 2004

My Dear Tom, It's been five months since you were taken from us.Everyone says time will help but that certainly isn't the case yet. There aren't enough words or the right way to say them to give the extent of the meaning of the love I have and will always have for you. The days are filled with work and the nights are very lonely and the huge hole in my heart and stomach seem to open up all over again.I will always ask God why our Tom? I know that no answer anyone gives sounds good enough and I know there will never be enough time in my life for anyone or anything to convince me that this was Gods will. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.Sweetie if only I could.I hate the thought of each day and night without you in my life.I can't find the strength I had when you were here by my side.Every song on the radio I hear has a memory of you and I and a special time and place or occasion that we shared.How does a person put those thoughts and feelings in a special part of your mind and go on? I ask you to guide me through all the changes I must walk through alone in my life now. There are some things that no one can help with or do for me simply because they're not you.I know there are alot of special people in my life and many of them were as precious to you as they are to me now.People do come in to our lives for a reason,a season and a lifetime. We had talked about that so many times.We discussed how some people come in to our lives also for a season and a lifetime. When someone is in your life for a reason it's usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly.They help to assist in a rough time physically,emotionally or spiritually.When someone comes in to your life for a season it is because it is your turn to share,grow or learn.Lifetime relationships teach us lifetime lessons,things we build a solid foundation on.That was you and I.We were solid together and now the ground is shakey and so uncertain.The present is a gift from God I had that when you were here with me and I'm forever thankful to him for the times we were allowed to share.But God doesn't promise us any certain length of time.And as we talked that is why it is considered the present.You were my past,present and you will always remain in my future.I am so thankful for our love and all that we shared. Thats why I hurt so badly knowing that I can never have that in this life again.I know the grief will always be a part of my life here without you.I must learn to control it and not let it control me.It is a constant battle.Tom I always will wish I would have been there with you that night.I am so glad the last words we spoke were to laugh for a moment and then tell each other "I love you" Missing you always and loving you will never change.The next few weeks will be very difficult.Walking through the ceremonies of the Memorials that we have to face would be totally unbearable without our dear friend J.W. he has been a rock of Gibralter for myself and your daughters and family. There again there are no words for a person who gives so selflessly.I love you and all we had together and all that we planned for our future.I will always try to do the right thing. It was an honor to have you in my life and I will continue to love and honor you the rest of my days here on earth. One day I know I will see you waiting for me at heavens doors.You will be watching and I know you will be proud of all the deserving honor that will be shown you in the next few weeks.Your brother Gary has worked very hard to see that the Police Memorial will be completed for you.Larry and Mike even helped shovel dirt.Larry was pretty proud of that.I know it will be another place that I will feel close to you.I know that you see all and know how very much you were loved by so many.What a legacy and honor for you.These men at the Dept.love and miss you and your crazy jokes and kidding.The phone doesn't ring at 11:35 A.M. anymore at least not for me.I love you Tom! You will live on forever with me and in my heart.

Deb
Mishawaka Police Dept.

May 3, 2004

Dear Tom,
Many times I think of you and how I took for granted that you would always be there. I hope you knew how much I appreciated you. I'm glad we were able to have some heart-to-heart conversations that were so necessary for us both. Lindsay and Holly will always be loved and cared for in all the ways that you would want for them. You always were, and would be ever so proud of them - especially now. They are a true reflection of you, your courage, dedication and determination and I am in complete awe of them.....Thank you.

Anonymous

April 29, 2004

Tom,

I've tried doing this countless times but every time I've tried I just couldn't finish. This time I will. There are no words to describe how I still feel about what happened, but there is a specific memory I have of you I want to share. The times at shift change when we would "discuss" anything involving Notre Dame vs USC. Sometimes a bit heated but always good natured. I do miss those talks. How excited you would get if anyone spoke against the Irish. I would do this just to agitate you. Well, this year I'll take your side for you and cheer for the Irish. Never as loud or as proud as you could but always in memory of you. Opie you are missed.

Rest well my brother

Mike

Cpl. Mike Thompson
Mishawaka Police Dept.

April 5, 2004