Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

jessi,
thank you for responding to me. someone from the odmp contacted me about us talking to each other on our own emails. i told him it was fine to give you my email adress. i am sure he contacted you also. take care you are in my thoughts and prayers. hope to hear from you soon!

kirsten winterer girfriend of p.o. nick

January 22, 2005

hi,
i was reading officer armstrongs reflections and i saw your message. i am not a fiance but a girlfriend of six years to officer nicholas sloan of the saint louis police dept. he was shot and killed on january 30th of 2004. we have a two tear old son toghther and were planning to get married this october. i always love to talk to others who have been through this. it has been so hard raising our son on my own. i would love to hear from you. my heart goes out to you.

kirsten winterer

January 20, 2005

Jessie,

Thank you for leaving a post on Scott's page. I think you're doing just fine talking to Cole. I find this website a journal we can use to talk to our loved ones. It helps to get it out.

I'm glad you're searching for Fiancee's. I've been in contact with Jocelynn also. She's a good girl. I would like to see more fiancee's get together. We share a very similiar and horrible bond. We all lost our loves in a tragic way on duty. It would be nice to lean on other fiancee's you can always contact me -

There's no doubt that you miss your Cole as much as I miss my Scott. They are great men. It says a lot when our love for them can last even when they were taken from us.

My motto from the moment he passed is:

Love never dies

No matter what happens in our lives or whoever enters our lives we will always have our love for them. It never dies.

Take Care,
Hugs,
Monica
Fiancee Scott Stewart EOW 8-11-02 Detroit

January 20, 2005

hey baby i can't write a lot right now because i am simply exhausted. i have spent several hours on this website already looking for other fiancees to get in touch with. i have been in touch with jocelyne...she seems to be a great girl. gosh cole, it is just so hard here without you. i know i keep saying that, but it's so true. somehow, God is giving me the strength to make it day by day, but wow! it's a challenge and a daily battle for me. today one of my hardest professors told me that i impressed her...what a compliment! i know you're up there whispering answers in my ear all the time. thanks for that by the way! i got to see your mommy and lynn this weekend. that was really nice to catch back up. i hope i didn't cause your mommy any more pain. i love her so very much and i see so much of her in you. what i wouldn't have given to be a part of your family legally i guess because they keep telling me i am a permanent part regardless of if we ever had the ceremony to prove it. britt turned 15 a week and a half ago. i know you can see her, but cole please just whisper a few things in her ears for me. she doesn't wanna listen to her big sister! :( i don't want to see her heart get broken. i know you'll do what you can. tim also called me which was very surprising but i appreciated it more than he will ever know. maybe i will get to see him again and he and i can chit chat about all your craziness! ;P well baby i have got to go take a shower. your uncoordinated little princess here decided to try out kickboxing and man am i feeling it already! i know you were laughing as i was trying to get my leg up in the air! haha! i hope you were amused darling! i can just see that little mischievous grin spreading across your face right now, so just stop it! ;P well i am really going to stop writing now. i hope you have internet access in heaven. if not, i know you are listening to my thoughts anyway and know that i love you just as much now as i did the day you had to leave me. eye luv u terd head.

your baby dolly wolly

jessi

January 18, 2005

Jessi,

Thanks for leaving the recent reflection on my late fiance's memorial page. It meant a lot to know you were thinking of me and that I am not alone in all this. I do remember you at police week. I am truly sorry for you loss. My condolences go out to yourself and the rest of Cole's family.

I have just finished reading the reflections left for Cole by yourself and others. He sounds like a great guy. You were blessed to have him in your life even for a short time. Thank you Cole for your service. If you get a chance, bother my late fiance Dennis for me a little!

Thank you again Jessi to you and your dad for reaching out to me. It's a tough road we have to haul, but I believe with the love of our fiance's we will make it through all this. Please take care of yourself and keep in touch. If you ever need anything please do not hesitate to contact me. I had meant to email your dad back after PW, but somehow lost track of his email address. Please apologize to him for me. If you or he would like to contact me and he still has my address, feel free to email me or you can always contact the Davis County Law Center. They will always know how to reach me. I look forward to hearing from you sometime.

Wishing you brighter and better days,

Jocelyne

Jocelyne Brar
Fiancee of Deputy Dennis Ray McElderry - EOW (01/03/03)

January 7, 2005

hey babe...
so it's another new year. i'm back at school getting ready to start another semester. only 3 more left to go, and then i'll be doing what i love most: teaching. the holidays were ok i guess. me and the fam went to florida. britt and i had a good time. new years was uneventful. i even fell asleep before midnight. there's not really much to celebrate. gosh, cole, i just miss you so much. it is so hard being here seeing the rest of the world keep going and i'm still trying to figure out what hit me and if i will ever wake up. i guess while i was on break i had too much time to just sit and think. think about you, and us, and everything that changed in a split second. i'm glad to see that others are still leaving you messages. it comforts me to know that people still remember you. cole you are always on my mind and in my heart no matter what. i can't wait until the day that i see you again. eye luv u coley woley.
~your baby doll

Jessi

January 5, 2005

Cole was a great partner whom I miss very much. Over the short time that Cole worked at the Chatsworth Police Department we became friends. I could always depend on Cole for help, he was always right there. I think about Cole daily and wish he was still here alongside of me. I only wish I could have done more. I along with the rest of the department miss you Cole, keep patrolling the streets of Heaven.

Sergeant Joshua Etheridge
Chatsworth Police Department

December 28, 2004

Rest in peace my brother. I had the honor of meeting your mother at the National Law Enforcement Memorial this past May. I was walking through with two fellow officers and we found your mom alone. We stopped and introduced ourselves and then we all shared our stories. She was waiting for a bagpiper to come and play. My fellow Officers and I were very touched by your mom, and she has not left our thoughts and prayers. I only wish that I could have taken some of her pain, and met the others that were so close to you. Know now that they are part of a family that will always be there. And, while you patrol the heavens above and watch over the rest of us, look for Officer Brian Aselton. He was one of the best and will watch your back.

Officer Tracy O'Connell
East Hartford Police Dept, East Hartford CT

December 16, 2004

hello babe! it's me again....i told you i wasn't gonna let you rest...ever! i haven't forgotten about you. last week was finals week which was totally ridiculous. but so far i've made all A's and a B...i'm waiting for one more grade, so here's hoping!! i have officially moved into my apartment completely. i so wish you were here to visit me and protect me. i guess you can do that from above. =/ i miss you so much cole. it is 10 million times worse around the holidays. i just think back to what was supposed to be. we should be planning for our wedding right now, cole. i don't really understand why these things happen the way they do. i know you are helping me out from Heaven, but i so want you down here to wrap your arms around me. i know that i will see you again some day. wait for me, baby. eye luv u.

Jessi

December 13, 2004

hey babe...there is so much crap going on right now down here on earth in my life....i know you see it all, but i just wish you were by my side to talk me through it. i guess you really are here...just not in your body...i know you've helped me through so much. it is just so hard, cole. all i want is to have you back and go back to the way things used to be....to be preparing for our wedding which would only be a year and a half away now. i don't know how i've made it this far, and i can't imagine the rest of my life without you. i know somehow i will make it...i just haven't quite figured out how. i just want you to know how much i loved you and still do to this very moment in time. your laughter still rings in my ears letting me know you love me and miss me too. gosh, what i wouldn't give to have you back in my arms this very second. i guess keep everybody up in Heaven under control while you're waiting for me to join you up there. i miss you babe! eye luv u so very very much!
~your baby dolly wolly

Jessi

November 15, 2004

hey baby...
i'm just missin you
eye luv u

Jessi

November 4, 2004

If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again... You were a great friend and will always be remembered in all of our hearts

DS

October 29, 2004

hey you!! it's me again!! i saw the shooting star you sent me on monday night, cole. i know it was you! you can't trick me even though you're up in Heaven, now!! i know it was you because you remembered me telling you that i had never seen one before. you knew just when to send it, babe, as i was laying there missing you and crying out to the stars because they will listen no matter what. and there it was...shooting across the sky, bright and beautiful. you always knew how to make me smile and of course you still do.

oh and by the way, i saw tim and satty the other weekend when i actually got to go home. they're doing well i guess....getting their lives straightened out. it's nice to see that. i know you're helping them along up there. and you better be helping me on all of these tests, papers, and lesson plans!!!
eye luv u baby.

Jessi

October 27, 2004

God Bless you and all the things you wish to do in your life. Cole loved you and so I .
Tony

Tony Martin
Father

October 19, 2004

hey baby...
i am sitting at work and haven't been able to get you off my mind so i thought i would just write to you like you were here with me...right by my side. i know you are always here. you keep telling me that in my dreams, and i can feel you. i still want you back though...i want you HERE totally completely back on this earth in body, mind, and spirit. i know that i just can't have that, but it doesn't change the fact that i miss you and still love you the same if not more than ever. i know you're looking down on me watching over all i do here at school. you'd be so proud, baby...i'm teaching basically every week now and next semester it'll be twice a week. i'm almost done, babe...my dream is almost becoming a reality, just like yours. i wish we could've lived that out together...even for a little while. i dont' know why this had to happen, cole, it still confuses me and angers me and hurts so deep down inside and all over. i miss your encouragement and support, and gosh, that smile...i miss riding around at night and listening to music while we had the windows down. i miss you picking me up on your shoulders so that i almost hit my head on the air conditioner...i miss your cop stories and hearing you get all excited about writing those tickets....i even miss you being tired and talkin in that sweet baby voice even tho you were so big and tall and of course, masculine and tough! i've made some new friends, babe, and they are awesome. these girls are the greatest in the world. i'm also going to be moving out of the dorm in december unless something goes horribly wrong. that should be really cool!! i come visit you when i come home which hasn't been very often this semester. classes are so hard, babe, and sometimes i wonder how i will make it through. nothing has been harder than losing you though, cole. i wish i could share all of my kid stories with you. i'm sure you're part of the reason i have some of those stories....you're probably whispering down in their little precious ears all the ways they can torment me while i'm teaching! that's ok because one day i'll see you again and we will get payback! actually, i'll probably just hold you and never let go. brittany is growing up so beautifully just like you said she would. she's my inspiration now. she talks about you all the time. she knows that you are still here no matter what. anyway, it's almost time for me to get off so i better get going. i just had to let you know that i was thinking about you as always. eye luv u!

Jessi

October 14, 2004

To the Family and Loved Ones of Police Officer Cole Martin,

I had the honor and privilege of communicating with Cole's father recently. It is obvious that Cole was the product of a loving and caring family. His short life was quite obviously exemplified as one of dedication and respect for his family, friends, and community. It is a rare gift, one given from above, and cherished by all. May God heal your pain, give you peace, and may Cole's memory live on in the lives of all you touch.

God Bless and Keep You In His Arms

J. Cline
Spouse/Washington State Patrol Emp.

July 27, 2004

To the Martin Family,

I recently heard of Cole's passing in an internet chatroom. I felt compelled to express my sincere condolences for your loss. My family's prayers are with you.

July 27, 2004

God Bless all of you who are grieving this tragic loss.

I will keep you in my prayers!

July 27, 2004

Thoguhts and prayers to you. Remember you are not alone....we are here...losing a child is the most painful experience in the universe, full of wondering why, pain that always lingers. We are here for you....

RLangmaid and spouse
CMKX-Sterling
NY

Robin Langmaid FNP-C
MainQuest

July 27, 2004

I didn't know Cole for a very long, but the time that I did will forever remain in my heart. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him as I'm sure everyone who knew this wonderful guy does. Like most, I know that Cole is in a better place watching over us all, but there is still a void inside. I will forever miss him. I saw him that afternoon eating at the Mexican restaurant in town with 2 other officers and I started to go talk to him but changed my mind at the last minute. To this day I wish that I would have. The only peace that I have from that regret is the hope that Cole knows how much he and his friendship meant not only to me but to everyone whose lives he touched in so many special ways. To his parents and Jessi, I went to his grave on 4-07-04 to pay my respects and it was the first time that I have seen it in a while and it looked so beautiful I couldn't help but cry. I know he would have loved it. My heart goes out to you 3 and to so many others.

R.I.P. Cole

sheena

April 9, 2004

I remember the morning I heard that Cole had passed away. I just kept thinking of how young he was and how you really never know how long your going to be on this earth, so you best make the most of it while you can. I had the pleasure of speaking to Cole's Paternal Grandmother the day of the funeral at the burial site. I knew that she had no clue who I was but I just wanted to tell her what a great and spectacualr role model Cole made. She told me that Cole had begged and begged her to talk Terry into getting him on the the Police Department and that finally she gave in and said she would talk to him for Cole. Cole was SO very thrilled to be a part of the CPD. He wanted nothing more to protect the county he grew up in and loved. I know I may have only hung out with Cole just a very few times, but I too feel the deep loss of a great man, and a great friend. My heart and prayers go out to Cole's Family, Friends, and to Jessi, his fiancee. May God be with you all through this. Just remember, he loved you all dearly and died living his dream I'm sure he would have much rather went the way he did than to not have the chance at all.

Anonymous

January 26, 2004

Cole was a great friend, He loved everyone and everything. He could touch your life in the strangest way. I am like many of the others the feel extremely grateful for having Cole. He touched so many lives in so many ways that only that individual will know. If I could have any angel to watch over me it would be Cole. He was taken away from us while doing a job to protect us. Now, he must fill a job the is even greater. He will be our guardian angel for eternity. Things happen for a reason and the reason may never be known. Cole, his friends, fiancee, and family will all be in my heart forever.

Tara
Friend

December 18, 2003

My heart goes out to the family, friends and co-workers of Officer Martin. Officer Martins dedication to the job will never be forgotten. Rest easy my fellow officer.

Officer S.C. Sales
PCMH Police Dept

October 18, 2003

I have know Cole for some years. He was a wonderful person and taught me so much. When I heard of his death my heart broke into many pieces. He was a HERO and forever will be remembered as one. Although I am sad he can no longer be with us here on this earth, I am happy to know he left this world doing what he had longed to do since he was a kid.
Cole, although we did not talk as much as we use to, I want you to know I was so excited for you about your job. and I know you was excited too. I hate it that you had to leave so soon. Atleast I know you are still going through with your promise and I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I will forever miss you and don't forget I love you.
My prayers are with his family, friends, and co-workers. I think about ya'll every day. I know it is hard because it is hard for me, but when you think about him instead of letting a tear run down your cheek, knock it out of the way with a smile of wonderful remembence of everything he was to you. It will get easier one day, just take it day by day.

RIP Officer Johnathan Cole Martin CPD #4

Anonymous Friend

September 24, 2003

To the Martin Family,

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

I know there are no words that will ease your pain and grief. Losing a loved one is a tragedy unparalled by any other event in life - losing a child means losing one of the most fundamental and beautiful parts of ourselves. I pray that in time your hearts and minds will remember the joy and happiness your son's brief time brought to your lifes, and you can rejoice that however short your time was, you were fortunate enough to enjoy his love and presence.

Syneca
Private Citizen

September 16, 2003