Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Cole,

I'm going to be a senior, buddy...oh deary dear dear...it's so awfully scary..thanks for being here for me...i've needed you a lot...


i gotta go...this is causing too many tears...


i love you and miss you bunches.

be good up there..

j's lil sis

June 26, 2007

went by the cemetery today while i was in town... looking at all of your police stuff :) i tried to play the music from the car for you, but it won't play anymore after all these years. it's hard to believe i gave you that for what would've been your 22nd birthday... and here i am, about to turn 23. i can't believe so much time has passed. i can't believe life has continued and we have all managed to carry on... not move on, but just wake up and live each day somehow. this year you would've been 25, and it's so easy to think of how life should have been at this point. i miss you and your smile and laugh. i miss your encouragement. i just miss YOU. eye luv u.

June 17, 2007

I love you Angel. I never, ever forget.

June 15, 2007

WAS THINKING OF DON AND COLE TODAY.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY.
I KNOW THAT DAY WAS HARD FOR YOU BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE HERE CELEBRATING IT.
DEBBIE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH ME ON MAY 10TH. I WISH YOU HAD STAYED WITH ME LONGER.
ONE DAY SOON ALL OF THIS WILL BE OVER AND WE WILL BE WITH OUR SONS AGAIN. HANG IN THERE.
LORRAINE

June 9, 2007

happy birthday cole! :) i'm sure your celebration in Heaven is much more awesome than anything we could imagine and cook up down here! it's just mind-boggling to think you would've been 25 today. i guess you may not keep track of things like that up there. just know that as always i miss you and love you. hopefully i'm one step closer to actually having a real house! that's crazy to think of, too! talk to you later, gater!

luv~
jessi

June 4, 2007

I sit and stare as my heart is heavy today as it is every day. Today should have been a day of celebration and happiness and listening to your laughter. Even though I can not see you anymore, I know that you are with us. I await the day that our family can be together once again in the arms of the Lord. That will be the true celebration.

Happy Birthday Baby Cole! I Love You!
Lynn

June 4, 2007

Cole's Mama, you will be in my prayers especially on Monday

A Child Loaned

"I'll lend you for a little time
A child of Mine" He said.
"For you to love the while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years,
or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As solice for yoyr grief.

"I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from Earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over
In My search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call
And take him back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
For the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
And we'll love him while we may,
For the happiness we've known,
For ever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand".

Author unknown

May Our Lord wrap His Arms tightly around all Coles loved ones now and ever.G-d Bless.

June 2, 2007

Hi my baby:
I talk to you constantly in my mind I hope you hear me. On Monday you will be 25 it's your birthday. I still think of that terrible moment in time when it all ended. I don't want too but it is always there. I love you Cole with all my heart. It is so painful, the loss, the grief,the hurt, the yearning to see you to talk to you to touch you. I miss you with all that I am. Soar my angel, and rest easy.

May 30, 2007

Jessi,
I know it has been awhile since we have talked. I see you are still hurting so much. Everytime I think things are bad for me i end up on this site reading my Wayne's reflections and then I read coles and I see that I could be hurting so much more. Jess please, I know that grieving is hard and that no one will ever take Cole's place in your heart. You will always fell empty and alone to some extent but it will get better. Cole is your heart, your angel, your hero, but Jess dont let his death be your end. I took a vow on my wedding day to love, honor and respect and I will always do that. I will always love Wayne, I will always honor his memory, what he meant to me and honor him for what he gave his life for. I also will respect him. I will respect his legacy, his memory, his family (no matter what), I also will respect and honor his dreams and wishes for me and my future.
Now I know that you did not make it to your wedding day but you would have made the same vows and in ways you already did by being engaged. Cole would want you to contiue your life and your dreams.
Jessi it is obvious you are truely loved beyond what most people could imagine and Cole was blessed to have such a devoted person by his side and he still is.
I respect and admire you so much for how involved you still are to this day in making sure Cole is not forgotten and I am trying to do the same with Wayne.
I wish you peace and acceptance Jessi. Cole is always with you and you know this, people don;t understand but we know when they are in the room, we can feel it.

Missy Woodard
Widow D/S Woodard E/O/W 08-2-03

May 22, 2007

it's been a hard, hard day.... made even worse by going thru it without you to talk to. i saw your memorial when i was in town this past weekend. it's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. i love it and i am so thankful to all those who helped it become a reality. i hope you're enjoying your days in Heaven. love you and miss you with every beat of my heart.

May 18, 2007

To the person who wrote "Coles Prayer" thank you with all my heart. I have read it a dozen times. The words mean so much to me. Cole was my life, I love him with everything I am. Thank you :)

May 8, 2007

Jessi,
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I think of you and Cole often. Hope you're seeing more sunshine with every day, knowing Cole is at rest with our Lord.
Love,
Kelly

May 7, 2007

For Cole's mama, I know the pain is always there but I also know it becomes sharper as special days,like Mother's Day ,approach .You are held in my heart and prayers.I wrote you this:

Cole's Prayer

Life is a journey from when we are born.
It's not our destination so please don't mourn.
I am not lost from you, nor you from me.
The mother/son bond remains through eternity.
I live on in your heart, you live on in mine.
We are only separated by a brief moment of time.
I still see your world as I gaze through your eyes.
I feel your pain as your broken heart cries.
Mom, I am not gone, I am still here.
Only feel with your heart for I am oh so near.
I watch over you each moment of the day.
My soul is signing to guide your way.
Our life is a journey from when we are born.
It's not our detination so please don't mourn.

May 2, 2007

Cole,

We sure do miss you. Your Memorial Monument is outstanding, for all who pass by the Jonathan Cole Martin Police Services Center to see.
None of us in attendance wanted to be there, but we all had to be, to honor the memories of your passion and dedication to serve others as a Police Officer. We are all very proud of the young man you had become before your untimely LODD.

I am also proud of the accomplishments of Jessi and Brit over the past 4 years, as we cannot possibly allow our fond memories to fade.

Your friend, Sgt Etheridge will be performing the honor of carrying your Memorial Flag on Saturday in the GA Police Memorial Ride, as sponsored by the Blue Knights Chapter VII.

You made the front page of the Dalton Citizen newspaper, again, as well.

Please continue to show all of your Survivors your continued presence and love from your Heavenly post.

Love you and Miss you,

John Garger, Secretary
GA COPS

April 26, 2007

I love you Cole, you are my hero.

Lynn

April 25, 2007

4 years today, and i still cant grasp it, or understand .. i love ya, and miss you man. *tear*

heath hansird

April 25, 2007

4 years today, and i still cant grasp it, or understand .. i love ya, and miss you man. *tear*

heath hansird

April 25, 2007

i feel i should write you something, but the words won't come.... only the tears. it seems there's nothing i CAN say... nothing that hasn't already been said a million times before. nothing that can quite capture how it feels inside. i can talk about pain and confusion and emptiness and longing and desperation, but those words... they're just not enough. i can even talk about love, and really in my opinion, until you've loved and lost... you can't fully comprehend what real love is about. i am sooooo very glad they have put up a memorial for you baby. i cannot believe it's been 4 long years of waiting, but all that matters is that it's up and it honors you and the sacrifice you had to make. all the letter writing, petition signing, it's all been worth it...i can't believe my sis was part of the whole process, but then again, she has more passion and energy than anyone i've ever seen. i knew it would happen someday. the events of the 24th of 2003 keep replaying over and over again in my mind. that's really all i can think about. i remember how hot it was that year, too. and all the storms we had right after you died... oh it was terrible. i think about your beautiful flowers and each time they finished working on something else on your grave. the feelings rushed over us all over again every time something else was complete. this is a new wave of emotion... the reality that it has indeed been 4 years... 1,460 days since we've seen you or talked to you or heard you laugh or seen your little belly shake... the reality takes your breath away because you look back and dont' realize how you've come this far. i remember thinking i couldn't live through one hour... one day.... i used to literally lay in the floor of my bedroom or on your grave... and just cry uncontrollably. i didn't understand how i could continue living. i still don't really know how... or why... i just don't know. i keep remembering our conversations about our jobs - teaching and being the po-po! what passion and enthusiasm you had! your eyes lit up... and your voice... i'd never heard you sound so alive and content. i wish i could get that back... the passion, the intensity, the enthusiasm for life that you had. the innocence is gone, and the fact of the matter is i will never love again the way i loved you. the fact is a piece of my heart is gone and i'm not sure how to make it thru the next 60 years without it. the fact is... i'm not even sure, after 4 years, if i've figured out who i am again. well angel, i hope that you see your beautiful memorial from Heaven... and i hope it pleases you. i hope no one ever forgets the man you were even at the young age of 20. but most of all i hope that no one ever doubts that you are a true hero who died doing what you loved.

i miss you. i love you. i can't bear to think of life without you.
~jessi

April 25, 2007

Cole, I know you are safe with Our Lord.Please would you send your lovely Jessie and your Mama a special sign to help them through today.Wrap your love so tightly around them that they can feel it.G-d bless you and them

April 25, 2007

cole...it's up...it's beautiful. i'm so happy i finally got them to do something...and the people who signed the petition...wow...so many in just two days...and your fellow brothers...and of course my family...and your love...we did it...i drove by yesterday and saw it. i pulled in so fast and got out. i just stood there and cried. i was amazed. it's hard though. tomorrow is going to be so difficult. help those who ache...i know you are holding all of our hearts inside. i miss you, sir. i do. my sis is moving closer next year. it's amazing to see who i have become in the past four years. i feel like i have grown to be a young lady who has experienced it all, but i know i'm not even close. thank you. please don't let it rain tomorrow...it'll remind me of that night...i miss you, elvis. be good up there in the sky...be good and blow my sis a kiss (heh, that rhymed!)...i'll see you tomorrow, cole. bye for now.

brittany
j's lil sis

April 24, 2007

In 3 days time it will be 4 years, under normal circumstances 4 years would seem so short, but nothing has been normal since your death and it seems like an eternity since April 25, 2003. Each of us struggle to carry on with our lives we have no other choice but the future is so empty without you Cole.

Cole I know you remember Ross and Troy, both of them called in last week, oddly enough on the same morning and ask for me. First Ross and he said to me that you had been on his mind all morning and he wanted me to know how much he missed you and he wanted me to know that he has not forgotten what a fine young man you were and how much he enjoyed talking to you. Shortly after that phone call ended Troy called. He wanted me to know that he was back with the company and he said that his first thoughts were about you. He told me that when he first got the voice mail that Larry had left about your passing that he just dropped the phone and cried like a baby. He said that he can still hear your voice and the laughter that the two of you would share in the evenings over the phone. I was so touched that they called me and shared their memories of you with me.

I believe I cry more now than I did 4 years ago. I guess I was in so much shock and disbelief that I was just numb and couldn't feel anything. All I remember is worrying about your Mom and wanting to take care of her. No matter what directions or paths our lifes take us down I will always worry about your Mom, she is a remarkable woman and you could not have had a more loving mother. I have always looked up to her and she gave me the best thing that ever touch my life and that is you Cole. I love you both til the end of my days and beyond.

Lynn

April 22, 2007

I heard the monument had to be sent back for a correction, the date was incorrect and something about a crack. I hope that it is back in time for the memorial.

It is so beautiful Cole and you would be so proud.

I love you!
Lynn

April 10, 2007

Jess:

Cole was very tickelish. I loved to tickle him and goose him on his ribs. You could also jump out in the house and scare him. Something he has to have gotten from me. He was funny that way. I can almost see his smile when I shut my eyes and see him being tickled. I too worry about loosing memories for they are all I have, and I too cherish the memories of our Angel more than my own life.

Cole's memorial is scheduled for April 25, at 12:00 if I understand correctly.

Cole I love you, I am trying harder now than I ever have and trying to understand more so than I ever have. I love you, you are the child of my soul. Be happy you did a good job here and I know you are doing a good job in heaven. Soar high my sweet, sweet Angel. :)

April 9, 2007

Happy Easter Cousin, I love you!

Lynn

April 8, 2007

to my coley woley

the last few days have been so hard... it seemed like everything went wrong. i don't know which way is up anymore... everytime i feel like i have things under control and figured out, something new pops up just to confuse me and make me doubt myself. i'm pretty angry and bitter at this point, because all i can think is taht i shouldn't even be in this position right now. i should be married to you, living in chatsvegas, building our house close to our parents.... all that jazz. don't get me wrong - the best thing i did 5 years ago was decide to go to berry... to follow my dreams... to become my own woman and go after what i am passionate about. i wouldn't trade that for the world. but you still could've beeen and should've been part of what there is in my life NOW. i should NOT be going through what i am... it's just so frustrating. anyway, i didn't get on here to complain yet again. but i just had to tell you. this weekend, we went on a college visit for britt. (i know it's hard to imagine her almost being ready for college... i remember the day she was born.... when i was in kindergarten.... and the time the 3 of us went to the movies to see that goofy mummy movie that terrified me... and... going to taco bell... all that, but i digress...) so yes.. college visit... and she asked me if you were ticklish... and do you know that i couldn't remember? it was the most awful feeling in the world. i couldn't remember. what if i'm forgetting. i never want to forget. never in all this world would i want to forget... even if it somehow could equal less pain... i still want to remember - everything. the memories come and go, ya know. sometimes it's like a cloudless day in my mind when i can see and hear you so clearly. and other days it's worse than the foggiest night when i can barely see or hear anything of what used to be. those days are the worst in some ways. it terrifies me to think that i may be losing touch. i know this is all hitting even harder because this month marks 4 years officially since i saw you or talked to you or touched you or felt your lips. it marks 4 years since we talked about our wedding day and our fears and our dreams. 4 years is such a long time. this month also brings easter and i remember bringing you candy while you were in patrol and just admiring you so much while you wrote up your reports and listened to me ramble on about school stuff. and then... in may... of course mother's day, which is always nothing short of hell for your mom, and a reminder to me that i'll never have the chance to have your babies and make a family with you.... also in may what should be our one year wedding anniversary....too painful to even imagine...and june rolls around with your birthday... you would've been a handsome 25. and while no one seems to understand how hard my birthday is - it will be quite difficult this july. i really hate this time of year. it's the worst. for me - worse than the thanksgiving and christmas holidays.

sometimes i wish the emotions would go away. that roller coaster ride - yeah, i'm done with it anytime. but then i think about it for a moment longer. and what i realize is that these emotions are just reminders of my intense and everlasting love for you. they are a reminder of what true love is and was and will always be. they remind me of a happy time in my life... an innocence that can never again be captured. they remind me to follow MY dreams and chase after what's important to ME. they remind me that i am real and i do have a purpose even though i may not understand it now or ever. and they remind me that you are still with me in some form, altho not the form i'd prefer.

on a happy note, i was kinda having a rough morning when i woke up. i decided to go for a walk. i was just thinking that i was so mad at you for abandoning me (the anger, it's all part of the emotions from time to time)... and that's when i saw this man walking ahead of me. he had on a GA police memorial ride shirt from 2003. now i know you weren't honored at that ride because you had just been killed probably days before the ride. but it just hit me right in the heart. i wanted to talk to the man... see who he had lost... share my memories of you and tell him the kind of man you were. i was scared though.... a little too shy if you can believe that... and just decided to hold that moment in my heart because i knew it was yet another sign that you were literally walking beside me.

the tears may not come as often anymore, but that doesn't mean i hurt any less. when they do come, it feels like a flood in my heart and in my mind. it feels like i'm being swept away in the undertoe of agony when i think about what i thought should've been the rest of my life. i KNOW there is a purpose in me being here, in me experiencing your love and then death, but i don't get it yet. i guess i will just have to keep on keepin' on because that's what you would've done. the school year is almost over for me and i feel as tho it's been a waste. i feel like a failure and i've at times been the teacher i never thought i'd be even when i was burned out after 30 years. i know i'm in survival mode as they call it... since it is just my first year and all. but i sure do hope i'm making some kind of impact somewhere to someone. i wish i could make half the impact that you did. i wish a lot of things, though.

i know you see my heart, angel, so i don't need to tell you this... but eye luv u. i can't wait to see you again. sorry for this "novel" (i know how much you enjoyed getting them from me when we were in high school!).... but i just had a lot to get off my chest.

~jessibabe

April 1, 2007