Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

it's cold and dreary down here. you know how i used to hate those days... well i still do!! there has been some craziness going on at school lately. i don't know if this is a test of my faith and skills or what... it's that time of year when everybody is stressed out with testing approaching and all of us getting spring fever. i'm going to try to start working out again this week since the new athletic center at berry just opened. maybe i can whip my butt back in shape! haha! thank you for flying by my side as life seems to be getting itself on the right track the last couple months. i still love you, and i think of you every day. you're such a hero.... even (and especially) almost 5 years after you've gone.

always & forever.

j

January 26, 2008

Your special Jessi has been such a blessing to me that I wanted to tell you how proud you would be of her and how encouraging she is to other survivors. It really helps to have someone to be there for you that knows what you're going through. I know you and Allen had a great Christmas up there but we sure miss you guys. Oh by the way, I just had a baby boy and named him Cole, hope that's okay.
Love you guys so much,
Laura Gibson-Szerokman, Surviving Spouse
to Ofc. Allen W. Gibson, Jr. EOW: 4/25/98

Laura

January 6, 2008

Mom you miss me, I know that you do.
I'm with you as you sit and cry
and there's nothing I'd rather do
than wrap my arms around you and make your wish come true.

I know you feel I've left you
but mom, that's not the case.
I am just further down the road
in this thing called life's long race.

My arm is always around you
when you sit at night and cry
and when you kiss my picture
listen, you'll hear me sigh.

Mom, you grieve so much
It constantly breaks my heart.
For you and me and Jessie
we are still not far apart.

So when you go to sleep tonight
dream of happy times with me.
We'll walk and talk in dream's calm.
My precious mom and me.

January 6, 2008

Happy New Year Cole. I love you and miss you.

January 1, 2008

Hello My Angel:

I was thinking of what I would say to you and then I read the beautiful Mom's Gift. I cherish it and I did look to the heavens last night and saw the beautiful star and was thinking of you. But you know that I think of you always. I prayed that you would come to me in my dreams as you were last not as a baby but you did not. You will when you know the time is right. I love you so much, and the ache is still constant. I try not to cry in front of others and let them see my pain but it us always there. I wonder if people know how wonderful you were and beautiful but to others you are just a myth not real as you are to me. I miss you and I long to be with you again. I know you have the best Christmas that a soul can have but my soul still aches with longing. I love yesterday, today, and forever. Merry Christmas my Angel, My love, My baby.

December 25, 2007

I know Christmas should be a time of happiness and joy but it is really hard to feel that way without you. I miss you so much. Our friend LaRona has been battling cancer since July and I believe the battle may be coming to an end. I pray for her every day but I know in my heart that she will be better off in heaven. It is so hard to have to keep saying good-bye to my family and friends. It was just a few weeks ago that she told me while visiting her in the hospital how she thinks about you often and that you were the finest young man that she ever had the pleasure of knowing. If it is her time to go I hope that you are one of the ones that is standing there to greet her on the other side of heaven's gates. I love you with all my heart Cole.

December 24, 2007

Remembering Cole on this Christmas holiday.
This is always a hard time of the year for all of us.
But know that I am thinking about Cole and his family today.
Love

December 24, 2007

"The Badge"

He starts his shift each day
To respond to calls unknown.
He drives a marked patrol car.
A police officer he is known.

He's paid by the citizens' taxes
To make it safe on the streets.
But he usually has a second job
'Cause a waitress has his salary beat.

Now he doesn't know a holiday
'Cause he works all year round.
And when Thanksgiving and Christmas finally arrive
At his home he cannot be found.

He's cursed and assaulted often,
The one whos blood runs blue.
He seldom ever gets a thanks,
To some he's just a fool.

His friends are always other cops
'Cause people just don't understand
That underneath his badge and gun,
He's just another man.

He knows there might not be a tomorrow
In this world of drugs and crime.
And he gets so mad at the court system
'Cause the crooks don't get any time.

And each day when he leaves for work,
He prays to God above.
Please bring me home after my shift
So I can see the ones I love.

But tonight he stops a speeding car,
He's alone down this ole' highway.
It's just a little traffic infraction.
He does it everyday.

Well, he walks up to the driver's window,
And his badge is shining bright.
He asked the guy for a driver's license,
When a shot rang through the night.

Yes, the bullet hit its mark,
Striking the officer in the chest.
But the Department's budget didn't buy
Each officer a bullet-proof vest.

So he lay on the ground bleeding.
His blood wasn't blue - His blood was red.
And briefly he thought of his loved ones
'Cause in a moment the officer was dead.

In the news they told the story
Of how this officer had died.
And some who listened cared less,
But those who loved him cried.

Well, they buried him in uniform
With his badge pinned on his chest.
He even had his revolver,
He died doing his best.

Written By:
David L. Bell
Sergeant
Richland County Sheriff's Department
Columbia, South Carolina
Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 1999 - All Rights Reserved
and may not be duplicated without permission

Investigator David L Bell
Richland County Sheriff's Dept., Columbia, SC

December 23, 2007

merry christmas in heaven....
i'm sure it's beautiful, but i don't have to like being away from you for so long. please watch over my girl... you said she'd be a spitfire when she grew up. she needs you, babe. help her out in ways that i simply can't. let her know that you're still with us. and please don't forget what we had...

always and forever.

December 23, 2007

Mom's Christmas Gift


Another christmas is coming mom
without you by my side.
I feel your grief inside me mom
I've stood and watched you cry.
But this year I have a gift for you mom
It's sent with all my love.
My gift is just for you mom
Sent down from heaven above.
On christmas eve when the sky is dark mom
Please look to the heavens above.
See the star that shines so bright mom.
It shines for you my love.
But I need a gift from you mom
For your sorrow breaks my heart.
My hand is on your shoulder mom.
Don't you know we never could part?
So when you see my star mom
Shining brightly just for you.
Please, will you smile back mom ?
Merry Christmas, I love you.

December 7, 2007

I saw the rainbow on the beach and I knew with all my heart that you were there saying hello. I love you forever.

November 26, 2007

good morning cole

i know it's been a while, but it hasn't been that long since you've been on my mind and heart. so much has happened the last few ;months. school is going exceptionally well, and i am so glad that you encouraged me to finish and do what i love. i'm actually going back for my master's now.... maybe i'll finish all the way up through my doctorate and be dr. jessi someday! these classes are killing me right now, though, so um... i don't know about going all the way! haha! i've settled into my house, but man i still need to do a lot to it. it's so weird living on my own. for some reason, this year i feel just so much more grown up. it's weird. sometimes i wonder how life has continued on so long after you left us. in many ways, i feel left behind. i feel like the world and my friends have jumped into the future and i'm still stuck. other times though i feel like i'm decades older than them... i guess because of the things i've dealt with. anyway, i just wanted to write to you... i know you are always there...listening, watching, and sometimes shaking your head and rolling your eyes at me! ;) i miss you angel and eye luv u always.

November 25, 2007

Hello Angel its Thanksgiving. The day is cloudy and windy. I remember our Thanksgivings and cherish each one we had. They were such special days but everyday with you was special. I think of you every moment of every day. I miss you so much I wish we could talk and share hugs and kisses. Soar high my Angel and do not forget. I love you with every fiber of my being my baby.

November 22, 2007

Hello my baby: It is almost Holloween. We used to love this day you and the guys would play around and you enjoyed it so much. We enjoyed it as much as you.

I am sure you know that Satty is to be a proud poppa soon. A little boy to be called Cole Lucus. I am so proud and honored as I know you are smiling down as well.

Say a prayer that God and all his Angels watch over this new little soul called Cole.

I love you my baby every moment and beat of my heart. From now until ever after.

October 29, 2007

Cole's Mama,
may this sooth your heart.Cole is always near you.


GRIEF IS LIKE A RIVER
By Cinthia G. Kelley

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope's channels,
I'll reach the shore at last

October 29, 2007

Cole -

Jess recently came for a visit. How I miss her so. It is so werid that your death and Daniel's death brough us two together as best friends. Gosh, shes like my sister -- I don't think I would have made it this far without her. You were lucky to have her -- I bet you are smiling down on her everyday. (espeically on the beach when she is jammin to Celine! HAHA).

Seriously Cole, She misses you so. Bless her everyday. Protect her. I listened to this song the other day and I had to post it for Jess.
Night Cole, - Jessica B.

Love Them Like Jesus - Casting Crowns

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

October 15, 2007

jessi~

Amanda showed me the memorial page today. I didn't know it existed until then. I sat here in tears as I know what you have gone through and are still going through. As you know Greg's partner but also Amanda's close friend, Dawn. She was Blake Gammil's fiancee. My heart goes out to you. I miss you at school so much. I know that Cole is looking down and is satisfied with your life as it is now.

October 5, 2007

Thank you....May God Bless you and keep all those you love close and safe and may you never outlive those you love.

I love you my Angel. I watched the start of a movie the other day. We are Marshall, I had to leave the room it was all too real of the moment you understand that the most devasting loss of your life has happened. I try to think of happy things, I try not to let your loss consume me. Some days it works, most days it does not. I love you with all that I am.

October 3, 2007

Cole I miss you more and more each and every day and I know that I have not wrote anything in a very long time but it isn't because I have forgotten you nor will I ever forget you.

We have people in our family that likes to do hurtful and spiteful things to others but they can't ever hurt me ever again. There is no pain worse than losing you and apparently they can't understand that. It is sad to say but the only person you can count on in life not to disappoint you is yourself and your faith in God.

I love you my dear sweet cousin and I wish that you were still here but heaven is where you belong not here.

Lynn

October 3, 2007

Cole's mama,
we have never met, will never meet but I would like you to know that you,Jessie and Cole are always held in my heart and my prayers.May G-d bless you all.

September 25, 2007

Hello my Angel:

I want you to know that I think of you each and everyday every hour of the day. I miss you so much. Nothing ever changes. I wish I could put my arms around you and just hold you tight and safe. The sadness is overwhelming as my love is overwhelming in the ache that never goes away. I love you my baby as much today as yesterday.

September 6, 2007

already a month into school with my new babies.... i can't believe it flies by so fast. time always flies by... it's so weird how that happens. a friend of mine lost his dad last week. i went to the funeral, and all i could think about was that i know that pain and heartache. i know what it feels like to lose the love of your life and to think that you may as well just lay down and die with that person. i know how it feels to think life is over and that it will never be the same ever again.... and trust me.... it won't be. i know how it feels to question and wonder and go thru the 'what ifs'.... how it is to lie awake and night thinkin you're just in this nightmare and someday soon you'll wake up. it always brings it right back no matter how long it's been. i wish i would have had some encouraging words for my friend and his mom who is now a widow at barely 50. all i could do is tell her that i would be there if she needed someone, but thinking about it... i don't know how much help i'd really be. anyway, i'm sure you've met steve up there by now. he was such a good guy. i hope that you're still having fun up there with your pa... and i hope that you're proud of what i'm doing these days. i really feel like a true teacher this year... i can't believe it! i still love you and miss you and always will. see you someday.....

August 30, 2007

i love you Cole., I have been talking to you a lot lately are you listening? I miss you sweet love, I am always thinking of you, i never, forget, I love you always and forever my angel.

August 18, 2007

just didn't want you to think you were forgotten.... i've got my very first house and wish you were here to see it! i miss you my angel. school starts again... hopefully this year will be better than last... i know you'll be watchin over me!

July 25, 2007

hello my angel a lot of tears today i hate any holiday i miss you so much i hate this hurt i love you so much i wish for just a moment...........you were so beautiful in every essence of the imagination...do not forget......

July 4, 2007