Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hey Angel it is Easter 2010. It was a beautiful day warm and lots of sun. The leaves are starting to come onto the trees again. I miss the trees without the leaves. It seems so sad without them. I was with Nan Lynn and Judy. We laughed a lot today. You would be happy. You were never out of my thoughts. I love you more than any word there is. I miss you so very much Cole. I so wish that you were here and the accident never happened maybe just a nightmare about it would have been bad enough. But you just never wake up from this. A lot of pain and a lot of Sadness without being able to have you here. What can I say, but I love you:) Happy Easter

Anonymous

April 4, 2010

Hey Angel, thinking of you and missing you every moment of the day. I love you and I never ever forget.

Anonymous

March 5, 2010

Hey my baby, I had been wondering what you would look like now and I dreamed of you the other night. It is only the second time that I dreamed of you as an adult. You looked just the same sitting in a big chair and just smiling at me. Like Momma what's wrong with you I have been here all along. I miss you so much every single momemt of every single day. I love you with all that I am forever and always my angel.

Anonymous

February 10, 2010

Hey Angel, lots of thoughts about you and love. I miss you.

Anonymous

January 10, 2010

Hey Angel, another Christmas is almost upon us. This is the 7th Christmas without you. I miss you just as much on this one as the first. I love you Cole, I know you have nothing but peace and love and will have the greatest Christmas there is. I miss you so much and I love you like no other. Merry Christmas my Angel.

Anonymous

December 22, 2009

Christmas is only 4 days away and all I can think about is the very last Christmas we had together. How I wish I could have that day back and we start over fresh from that day forward. So many things would be different. The holidays make us want for things that we know we can't and will not ever be able to have back ever again. I miss you my dear sweet cousin and love you will all my heart and soul. No one will ever take the place of you in my heart.

Lynn

Anonymous

December 21, 2009

Hey my baby Thanksgiving yesterday. I thanked God for the blessing of you in my life the greatest thing of my life. Not too many tears, I tried to hide and wipe them away. I miss you, I wish I could see you. I love you forever and beyond my Angel.

Anonymous

November 27, 2009

Hey my baby. I was just cleaning house and looking at my Cockatoo that I have named AnnaBeth. She is so much like Nevada. I know you hated Nevada but AnnaBeth talks like Nevada but she is sweet since I raised her from a baby. I was just hit with the thought that so many things are the same as they were on April 24, a man a woman, a son, doing everyday things and somedays it is ok and I get comfort from that. Other days like today I just want us back. To see you in the kitchen with that big smile and telling me about your night on the force. Just talking. Walking over to you and give you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. But that can never happen can it because we are gone never to be again on this earth. I love you more than anything on this earth all other loves do not compare and I always will Cole. I just wanted to talk. Send me a kiss my angel.

Anonymous

November 12, 2009

Hey My Angel. I know you feel my love but I like putting it into words, it makes it more real for me. I love you Angel, I dread the Holidays and Winter, such a depressing time. I look forward to Sunshine and always thinking of you my baby. I love you my precious, precious Angel always and forever.

Anonymous

November 9, 2009

Hey my beautiful Angel. I love you, and I miss you. The same words, I am not even sure anymore they can communicate the true feelings I feel. I do know my love for you is great and never ending or dulling as the years go by. Watch over us all my baby and try to bring or send some smiles to those that have always loved you and continue to love you. Love, Love , Love. Always and forever.

Anonymous

September 28, 2009

Well Cole, my Pop Pop passed away last Saturday. He was the youngest out of all of us it seemed, but my how things can take a dramatic turn for the worst. The good part is that you finally get to meet him, since you never got to on Earth. It seems you've been gone for ages, but only almost 6 1/2 years. I'm still plugging away at teaching, hoping and praying that I'm making some sort of difference to some child. It usually seems like I'm only spinning my wheels, much as it does for those in law enforcement I suppose. One step forward equals about twelve steps back. As I prepared and went through the funeral stuff for my Pop Pop I realized how much my mind has blocked out from yours. I couldn't remember what time your visitations and funeral were or what we did afterwards. I guess it's the brain's way of protecting those most painful memories. I vividly remember hearing the words that you were gone. "There was an accident. Cole is gone." They'll haunt me forever. I can't remember if they did the roll call at the graveside service for you. They did for my Pop Pop, and it was the most excruciating words at the time. My love for him is different than my love for you, of course. But both of you were my heroes. I'm glad to know you are both in Heaven, but I'm tired of gaining more angels. I just want them to stay here on Earth with me. The good thing is that the Lord put an end to his suffering, just as he did with you. This old world is painful enough as it is. Take care of him for me. Also know that I think of your parents, Lynn, and Nan often. I know the loss is still just as devastating as it was all those years ago. Somehow we all must go on and keep on living, as hard as it may be. Send them a spirit of peace and comfort on this day and the many more to come. They need to feel your presence.

Love,

J

Jessi

September 12, 2009

Hey Beautiful boy. Young Man. I miss you.......I saw the rainbow yesterday, only the 3rd since your death. The dragon flies have been everywhere. For some reason I feel as if you are saying hey mom you see everything is alright. I could go on from there but it gets me no where as you know. I had a baby llama last week. I named him Tristan. I don't know if I told you we had a baby yak last month. He is black with a perfect heart on his head almost as a gift. I am getting so old and everytime I see your picture here you look so much younger. That is one of the sad things just minor compared to it all but no new pictures. Did I tell you that I found a Mothers day card in your things. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever had. You had your picture and said I was the best mom. I cried forever on that and a few shoulders as well. I gave your dad somethings that I thought you would want him to have. I gave them to Nanny Jean and I am sure she gave them to him. One thing is for sure your Mom and Dad loved you with all our hearts. Never, ever forget that. I love you. I miss you so.........

Anonymous

September 10, 2009

Well Cole you told me right before you left to join the force not to trust those people at work and you were right. They got me in the end. It is okay though I will be ok, keep looking over your Mom and keep her strong because God knows I need her. I love you with all my heart and soul, hope to see you sooner than later.

Lynn

Anonymous

August 18, 2009

I just wanted to say "Hello". Miss you with all my heart Cole and I love you.

Love,
Lynn

Anonymous

August 8, 2009

Hey my baby boy. I was in Cracker Barrel today and I was looking at the Willow Tree items. There was a mother holding cradling, gaurding her child. The name of it was The Guardian. I felt so horribly bad I felt like I had failed you as your guardian. At that moment I missed you so much I did not think I could breath or go on. Then the funniest thing happened I felt like you were in my arms as a little boy. I promise I could almost feel you. Cole it hurts so terribly much to spend life and live without you.
I try and think and say live life for the fullest and be as happy as I can for you. It's not always easy but I promise to keep trying. I love you with all my soul my beautiful angle.

Anonymous

July 26, 2009

Hey Baby
Just wanted to say I love you. Always and forever. Mom

Anonymous

July 9, 2009

Hey Angel:

Your birthday yesterday. We fixed your flowers and cleaned your grave. The flowers are beautiful. That is all I can do for you here. You are now 27. I can hardly believe it. You know I talked to you all yesterday, I felt you. Cole you know my words and my heart and soul. I love you always and forever. My beautiful Angel.

Anonymous

June 5, 2009

Happy Birthday Cole.
I Love You.

Lynn

Anonymous

June 4, 2009

Debra,
I was passing by a store window and hanging there was a beauiful Dragonfly, it's wings glistening in the sunlight. Straight away my thoughts flew over the thousands of miles to you and Cole and immediately I stopped and prayed for you both.God Bless you. You are a wonderful woman and I can see Cole looking down on you telling everyone up there that ' that's my momma'.

Anonymous

June 4, 2009

Cole it is so so lonely here without you. Yesterday I wanted to talk to you so bad that I just about couldn't stand it. Something happened at work, I don't even remember what now, but I was sitting there thinking I wish I could tell Cole about this because I knew you would have found it just as stupid and hilarious as I did and then of course I became sad once again because I knew I couldn't share it with you. I have a really hard time remembering things here lately. I sat and tried to remember what Momma's voice sounded like and I couldn't. I remember your laugh though and I hear it in my dreams sometimes. I miss you Cole and Momma too. Please don't forget me. I love you forever and ever.

Love,
Lynn

Anonymous

May 29, 2009

Hey Angel you are as always heavy in my mind and heart. I just want to say that I love always.

Anonymous

May 8, 2009

Hey Baby two more officers killed on the 25th, I am sure you were there helping them in anyway if you can. If you can help the familes and children they left behind. I know it is awful for them the horrible pain they will carry with them from now on.

We made it through the 25th of April one more time. Nan and Lynn were with me the entire day and night and Nan spent the night with us. It helped that we were busy from the time we got up until we went to bed. I did not know if I could handle another 25th but I did. I guess we handle what God wants us too whether we like it or not. I miss you it is too hard to put into words. I hate that you have been away for so long and not seeing and talking to you. Death has got to be the ultimate punishment or something that we face. Because it is relentless. No letting up, no free passes. It is just what it is no secound chances. I think Nan was good yesterday she enjoyed what see did and I think it helped her it did me. I love you Cole, no letting up on that. You are my heart always and forever my Angel.

Anonymous

April 26, 2009

I miss you today just as much as I did the first day and all the days in between. I love you Cole.

Love
Lynn

Anonymous

April 25, 2009

Cole, I am really excited about something I think I can make happen or I hope that I can anyways. I don't want to say what it is because I am afraid that I might jinx it or something but I know you already know what it is and I know you would be pleased about it. I really really hope it works out. It has been a long time since I have had something positive to look forward to and I hope everybody else will see it as a positive thing. I had a dream about my Momma a few nights ago, the first one I have had in a long time and then your Mom found a graduation card with pictures that my Momma had sent her. If that isn't two signs then I don't know what is. It has been a really long time since I have dreamed about you too. I know that you will visit me when I need it so I don't worry about it. If you have any pull up there it wouldn't hurt if you sent some suggestive ideas to some people down here to help with the matter. You know I just remember something that my friend Trish told me today, she said that she had a dream the other night that a really tall police officer had pulled her over to give her a ticket and that he was just talking to her and laughing but something woke her up and she never got to finish the dream but she knew that he never gave her the ticket. Were you trying to tell me something thru that dream? Anyways, as always I miss you and love you always and forever.

Love,
Lynn

Anonymous

April 18, 2009

Hey Angel: Yesterday was Easter, the 25th is fast approaching. Then your birthday. Can you believe that you will be 27. I canot fathom it. You really know the rest, no need for me to say the words. I love you it is in mmy soul. I never forget, always and forever. I wish you were here.

Anonymous

April 13, 2009