Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

...12:54am
...thnking about you
...happy birthday sweet g

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

January 22, 2005

happy new year sweet g... lots of fireworks, ono food, good friends, family and loads of fun... and through it all... a tugging at my heart... an emptiness in my soul... it's midnight and she slips away... no new years wish from daddy and it is unbearable... my heart aches for her... and selfishly breaks for me... we miss you... beloved angel now that guides me... forever in my heart...

1/1/2005

rg...
gg3127... eow... 3.04.03...

January 2, 2005

It's that time of year when we reflect on the past and wonder about the future. Whenever I look at the past, Glen's picture comes to mind and of course I laugh because he was so lolo sometimes. But moreso, my heart aches for r, k, & t because no one can feel what you feel. Glen is in a good place now.

Until we meet again...Aloha...nsp

December 31, 2004

merry christmas g... our 2nd without you... we spent the eve at home like always... went to church and opened gifts... then to la's for christmas day... lisa's blessing was beautiful as usual... reminding everyone that you are still remembered, loved and with us... after that the girls and i spent some time where you lay... it was so peaceful there... light rain and a full moon... others visiting their loved ones... we exchange quiet merry christmas' and go on our way... i wish you were here... you should have seen me trying to pick out the electronic gift of the year for the girls... what a disaster but i think i did okay... no gift electronic or not could compare to having you here but at least it put a little bit of the spin you would have on the day... they are still trying to teach me how to use the infamous iPod... i know you're laughing at me... makes me smile to think of what you would say... lots of things i remember make me smile... thank you again for the gift of our beautiful babies... they are growing so fast and i see you in them more and more each day... merry christmas sweet g... i miss you...

XMAS '04

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

December 26, 2004

Brother Glenn, it was an honor to know you and to have been able to work for you. Your actions on that day were heroic and you will never be forgotten.
Rest in Peace Brother.

MPOII Jonathan CARREIRO
Honolulu Police Department

December 9, 2004

it's 11:41pm and finally bedtime after a long thanksgiving day... we got to see some of the guys from the kailua station today... we took them turkey and ham and ALL the fixins... it was always so important to you that the guys who work today have thanksgiving too... it always feels so good being back there where so many memories of visiting you are... we also spent some time at the cemetary... i still feel like it's just plain wrong that we have to visit you there... this is not how things were supposed to be... we took flowers to danny and ryan and ike too... i can't help but feel that you all are together... keep an eye on us here at home and know that we miss you A LOT... also keep a watchful eye on all your brothers and sisters in blue that they be safe on patrol here... i miss you sweet g... the girls miss you... beloved angel now that guides me... forever in my heart... happy thanksgiving...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

November 26, 2004

sweet g... today is november 5th and we are beginning to gear up for the holidays... the thought of it made it particularly hard to get out of bed this morning... it will be our second year without you and though some days i feel strong... there are others where i am numb all over again... today i will call sgt. f. at the station and arrange to take thanksgiving lunch to the watch like we did last year... it was always so important to you that the guys that had to work that night have thanksgiving too... last year i know was very special to the girls to be back at the old station with the watch and sgt... although i know they miss you desperately they are strong and such brave young ladies... school this year has been much better for them... now that the case is over and we are no longer front page news... they seem a lot more relaxed and comfortable... making new friends and getting more involved again... and just as crazy as ever!!!! we all have our moments and still visit you regularly... we can see your grave from the roadside as we pass and it is always so decorated and beautiful... no doubt you are still loved and missed by many... you always will be... we think and talk about you very often... the hardest thing for me is to wonder where their thougts are when i notice a not so good day... do they feel the same disappointment as i do when they wake sometime and realize it was not a horrible dream but a real life nightmare... are they just lonely for the daily spin that you put on things... the way you always cuddled and showered them with kisses... the cell phone messages and text messages that you always sent to let them know you were thinking about them... or jus t the daddy time that no one else will ever be able to fill... my not so good days always come when i realize that i have to figure things out on my own... no one left me a manual on how to raise children alone... or how to trust someone else... where to begin and how it will all end up... i just pray a lot and talk your ears off... but you kow that... thanks for the flickering lights and butterflies... thank god our familes are always there... but you know what i mean... the talks that only we could have about our girls... hopes... dreams... consequences... rewards... remember whens... i am still waiting for the it gets better with time part that everyone keeps talking about... i don't think any of us are quite there yet... but we try... i still come to this sight daily... everytime your picture pops us i smile... that big old grin of yours... not the typical cop picture... but so very much you... keep watch over us g and allow us to feel your presence on those not so good days when our hearts ache, memories sustain us and the thought of someday meeting up with you again is the only catalyst we can muster... 2.17.03 remember always...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

November 5, 2004

HAPPY HOLLOWEEN DADDY!!!! IT WAS A RAINY ONE... HARDLY ANYBODY EVEN CAME OUT... BUT WE DID LAUGH ABOUT ALL THE HALLOWEENS BEFORE THAT YOU MADE EVERBODY LAUGH... REMEMBER THE TIME YOU DRESSED UP LIKE THE MAN WHO LOST HIS DOG??????????????????????????????????
WE LOVE YOU LOTS AND MISS YOU TONS...

US GIRLS..... :)~

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

November 1, 2004

hi daddy...im in socials now..i am now in the eigth grade and it feels kind of cool...we are the oldest ones on our campus.....um....not doing much...and i was just thinking about you....one of my best friends dad passed away in the line of duty...her name is Nicole Leslie. Her dad is David Leslie. I dont know if you knew or know him now...ummm....well we had to do a me speech in speech and it had to describe us and it had to say what we would be doing in 15 years... and we had to bring a tangible item.... and my tangible item was my necklace...the badge.....ummm... and Nicole brought in her dads real badge...the one in the plastic thing....it was so nice...i wish we had one of those but uncle greig them want it so the department doesnt know who to give it to...but its not my desicion,......I just hope they make a good desicion.... Well ill tlak to you later.....Love you with all my heart!!!!
Your BIG small Honey!!!

Taysia

October 15, 2004

lt jackson.... thank you for your kind words and for remembering glen... the girls are doing well... they are my strength and watching them grow affords me the opportunity to see glen every day... i think it is so neat that you and your wife took children from holy family to washington dc... it is a wonderful tribute to all of the fallen heroes that we continue to share with others the reality of the sacrafice they have made... i am looking forward to next year when we can return again to the wall and pay our respects to all the heroes that now walk a different beat with glen... it is important to us as well that those of you who continue to serve know that you are heroes among us... please be careful out there and know that you are in our prayers as well... aloha... a hui hou...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

October 7, 2004

Miss Renee,

Fear not, for Glenn will never be forgotten. I hope this finds you well and the girls helping you. I just wanted you to know that even though I am thousands of miles away, Glenn is not forgotten, will not be forgotten. My wife and I took some young students from Holy Family school to Washington DC during the summer. They had an eye opening experience at the National Memorial. I wanted them to know that there are heroes they will never get to see, never get to see a movie about, never realize just what they gave them until one night when they need one of the heroes to protect them. Freedom is never free and Glenn is one of the heroes that gave the rest of us freedom.

Lt. Stephen Jackson
Baton Rouge PD

October 5, 2004

melissa... i come to this site nightly to "visit" glens memory... it saddens me to see the list of officers who have made the ultimate sacrifice grow longer and longer every day... sometimes i post my own comment... be it a poem,a thought or to tell him of some "event" that the girls participated in... most times it's just to tell him that we miss him so much... funny how it makes me feel better... almost like speaking with him... some folks say to come here every night is kind of weird... i say how could i not... i am always so excited when i see a new entry... whether from a friend or stranger i am always so grateful that glen has not been forgotten... i was as touched by your entry tonight as i was by your newspaper article shortly after glen's passing... i know exactly the way he captured hearts... just the way you spoke of in "the classroom darling"... sometimes i feel like the rest of the world has gone on about their business and we are still here trying to make sense of things... trying to fill the big void in every special occasion, milestone and ordinary moment that glen would have put his own little spin on... the sentencing of shane mark was a milestone for us in terms of healing... the last thing that we could see through for glen... i have felt some relief since then and have seen some weight lifted from the girls... it was a symbolic way to let him rest finally in a place where i hope we will one day meet again... but at the same time... i hold on desperately to that feeling that he is near... a presence that i call on daily... i find myself searching as i watch the girls grow for reminders of him... what a treasure he has left me... thank you for sharing your thoughts and love for glen... i am truly aware that glen's loss was not ours alone... in glen's memory please continue to pray for our department and the officers that continue to serve and protect... we should not wait until they make the ultimate sacrifice to honor them, instead be always mindful of the sacrifices they make daily to do so... a hui hou...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

September 9, 2004

Hi Renee, Taysia, Kiana and all of Glen's loved ones...I went to preschool & elementary school with Glen...he was a much loved person, I wrote a poem to share that I pray will comfort your hearts...God continue to be with you all...here it is.

dearest glen

do you remember
how we used to play
tucked under the trees
down robinson lane
next to the graveyard
with flowers so sweet
we ran through the brushes
cool grass beneath our feet

she'd peel us some mangoes
and sing us a song
gathered in a circle
and we'd sing along
lunchtime would come
and naptime too
I miss those days
and I miss you

your hair slicked back
a mischievous grin
making all the girls giggle
all the hearts you would win
kept the teacher on her toes
with that charm
everyone knows

six years passed
the paths diverged
off you went
up the hill
around the bend
you were going to make
some new friends

where do those years go
childhood days
all left behind
we look to tomorrow
and breathe a sigh

the next time that I heard your name
no, I thought, it can't be the same
glen that I knew when I was a child
on the television news
that you lost your life!

how can it be
your poor family
they couldn't say goodbye
I don't understand...why?!

at your service there was
a procession of blue
an outpouring of feelings
all the people who loved you

you were placed in a box
laying peacefully still
the next day they brought you
to the chapel on the hill

songs and memories
by your family and friends
so many were touched
by one life that extends

falling onto our path
scattered blossoms from above
a remembrance for someone
whose life brimmed over with love

i hadn't seen you
for so many years
but now there's not one thing
that can stop these tears

your final resting place
beneath the Ko'olau's slopes
i'll pray everyday"
that your girls don't lose hope

goodbye dearest childhood friend
the next time will be
in eternity
where life never ends

the winds still blow in that childhood place
for those days long gone
now for me a sacred space
under the trees
so quiet and still
I'll be thinking of you
I always will.

with only love and aloha
for all who were touched by Glen's life, and especially for his family and his girls. Love, Melissa Kamakawiwo'ole

Melissa Kamakawiwo'ole

September 7, 2004

thinking about you...
missing you...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

September 7, 2004

g... another brother has fallen... we will pray for his loved ones as they journey now through hurt and healing... be there for Isaac... miss you beloved angel...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

August 19, 2004

Wow...I don't even know you, but reading the notes from your family instantly brought tears to my face. Not an easy thing to do.

Rest in peace, brother. Thanks for all you've done.

SSgt David Lacerda
USAF

August 11, 2004

g... it is over...

YOUR KILLERS SENTENCE

Circuit Judge Karen Ahn's sentencing of your killer. All sentences will run concurrently:

• Life without possibility of parole for the murder of police officer Glen Gaspar at the Kapolei Shopping Center on March 4, 2003.

• 20 years for the attempted assault of Gaspar's fellow officer Calvin Sung.

• Life with possibility of parole for using a handgun in those crimes.

• 20 years for being a felon in possession of a handgun.

• 10 years for possession of methamphetamine in connection with the shootings.

• 10 years for having drug paraphernalia in connection with the shootings.

• 20 years for using a handgun in a shooting at a church parking lot on Feb. 1, 2003.

• 10 years for being a felon with a handgun.

• 5 years for second-degree assault for shooting a man in the leg at the church parking lot.

rest now daddy... our hero!
rest now sweet g... i love you!

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

August 3, 2004

g... finally... we have waited a long time for this... tomorrow your killer will be sentenced... no sentence could be enough for me... no punishment enough for not having you here with us... we miss and love you very much...

Victim Impact Statement (Renee L. Gaspar):
Officer Glen A. Gaspar
August 2, 2004

On March 4, 2003 my life was changed forever. My former spouse and father of my two young daughters was shot and killed in the line of duty as a plainclothes officer for the Honolulu Police Department. Nothing could have prepared me for the impact this would have on my family and myself.

Every day since this senseless tragedy I am reminded that Glen is not here, nor that he will ever be again. Whether it is something I would have called him about, a familiar place, a favorite song or a quiet moment when I am witness to a child’s pain that not even I can comprehend, the daily reminders are heart wrenching.

When I learned that I would be given the opportunity to speak today, at first, there were so many things that I wanted to say. As time got closer I realized two things. The first was that, the fondest memories I have of Glen, those whose value rendered the greatest impact in his loss, served me better kept in my heart. There is a place there that belongs to just him and I. And the second was the realization that to sit here and speak of the impact of Glen’s loss in my life alone would be selfish. Although I tried to find ways to express how losing Glen impacted those who loved him, I found it easier to speak of how having him in our lives made still a greater impact. The way Glen lived has made the most impact as we now try to adjust to life without him.

Seventeen years ago when I first met Glen, I knew he would change my life. We dated and later married affording me the opportunity to meet some of his closest high school classmates and co-workers from the city. They had many a story to share and were quick to offer advice on how best to deal with his wit and “different” sense of humor. Over the years these same friends became family as we stood by each other through vows, babies, happiness and heartache. As word made it’s way across years and the ocean, they came home. Not only to say goodbye to a friend and brother, but also to share, reminisce and lean on each other. I listened as they shared with our daughters how Daddy had taught them things, had been there for them and touched each of their lives. This is the impact that Glen’s life had on lifelong friendships.

Two years after we were married, on the day we learned we were expecting our second child we joined 48 other recruits and their families as we embarked on the whirlwind journey of the Honolulu Police Department’s 110th recruit class. Glen trained hard, organized study groups, encouraged his classmates and pushed himself. He had found his calling. From walking the beat and riding a cushman to making motor and being selected to specialized units, Glen loved what he did. Grateful for every opportunity to grow and learn, he took on challenges with initiative and commitment. These Brothers and Sisters in blue became an addition to his extended family. At the hospital where Glen succumbed to his wounds, they wept. They stood at his bedside in his last moments. At his memorial service, one by one they said goodbye to their brother. On a website they post their memories, tributes to a fallen hero. Some knew him well. Some just knew of him. They describe him as hardworking, genuine and humble. They speak of being better for having known him. This is the impact that Glen’s life had on his peers.


One month after Glen’s death, 500+ Windward youth dedicated their upcoming volleyball season to him. Many of them registered just a few short weeks before with requests to be on Coach Glen’s team. A soccer player himself, Glen could not wait to coach our children when they were old enough to play. No end of season picnic was complete without pizza, trophies and Coach Glen fully equipped with enough silly string to have even unsuspecting parents joining in the fun. Basketball season soon rolled around and not too comfortable with his dribbling skills, Glen borrowed library books and videos to hone his skills and took to the court as yes… you guessed it, Coach Glen. We didn’t always have winning seasons but the kids came back year after year hoping that Coach was still on the list and that his team still had a space for them. One of the most touching things that I recall about Glen’s memorial services were the faces of the children as they came through the receiving line. Many whose parents said that their children insisted they come. They came to pay their respects to a role model, a mentor and a leader. This is the impact that Glen’s life had on our community.

Glen’s greatest role of all hands down was “Daddy”. Anyone who knew him was sure to have heard at one time or another that no one had prettier hair than Kiana and if you needed some assistance with your lay up technique he would see if Taysia was available. He went to piano and voice recitals, halau concerts, school plays and ball games. He was the Daddy with the video camera and the proud smile when our girls were May Day princesses. He did science projects, built skateboards, burned cd’s, worked fundraisers, even drove carloads of giggling teenage girls to the mall. He knew where to find hip posters, cool shoes, good kine junk food and popular video games. On ski trips they would sneak off the runs and build snowmen, have snowball fights in shorts and slippers and sit by the fire at night and talk about where we would venture to next year. There were pillow fights, and tickling and laughing until it hurt. There are hundreds of pictures and thousands of memories. But now, those are all that remain. They graciously received condolences and were brave beyond their years. Behind their smiles an emptiness. In their hearts an ache and a prayer that maybe tomorrow this would all be over. A bad dream maybe, a mistake. As time goes by, they are forced to celebrate birthdays, holidays, special times without him. We have had our first day of high school, the start of a new ball season, the Easter egg hunts and Christmases. Father’s Day’s and Halloween. Many have said that things will never be the same. That is an understatement. This is the impact Glen’s life had on his children.

In that place in my heart where my most special memories of Glen are, I find comfort. I know that my life is better for knowing and loving him. It is not easy to understand how lives gone in separate directions could still have a place for “us”. Glen was my sounding board and my reality check. In the year before his death our relationship had come full circle. Even in new relationships, we had found a way to be parenting partners and friends. We had a built a confidence and respect in each other and our children. Just days before, we had sat and talked of how lucky we were to be able to do so. When I learned that Glen had been shot I remember all I could say is that I could not do this without him. That I needed him. We needed him! Sometimes I think I hear his car coming down the road. Sometimes I even smell his cologne. Most of the time I feel alone. A lot of the time I am angry. Angry that the person in my life who represented the truest meaning of friendship is gone. That is the impact Glen’s life had on my own.

In a strange way I somehow feel like Glen is always with us now. There are no more late cases, no special duty jobs. When I need him he is right there. In that special place that is his alone. We light a candle every night and tell him of our day. I hold the girls with my arms and love then with his soul. My faith tells me that he is in a wondrous place and that all things happen for a reason. If this is a test, I think I am failing. I don’t see any reason that Glen should have been denied the chance to realize his own dreams. What could possibly be the reason that he will never attend a family night at his alma mater where the girls now attend school? He will never be amongst the rows of proud parents at song contest, blue light escort his babies to the prom, cry at their graduation or walk them down the isle on their wedding days.

I don’t believe that I will ever be convinced that there is a reason. I do believe there was a choice. A choice to take Glen’s life into his own hands. A choice to shoot and kill. A choice to commit a crime. A choice that has forced our family to live with the most painful sentence of all. I struggle a lot with faith now and hope that justice will help me find my way back. That justice will finally allow us to let Glen rest while sending a message that his life was worth something.

Beloved Angel Now That Guides Me...
Rest now... It is done...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

August 2, 2004

Hey uncle glen this is corrie-lee. i am at my moms work and wanted to stop by and say hello and kanaho would like to say hello too.well i just wanted to tell u that i love you and think about you all tha time and some things that i do in life i look up to u. well talk to you latur luv you much

July 29, 2004

g... it's one of those nights... i have been watching the girls sleep for about an hour now... tonight i was a little hard on them... a responsibility lecture... summer reading not getting done... need help with the laundry... typical teenage stuff... you know that we have good kids... i know that we are blessed... i guess i am just feeling a little overwhelmed... these were the times when we would talk strategy... tag team them... i feel so alone... in this parenting game... i've sat for the last hour reminiscing about how we used to talk about our dreams for them... how much we would give or do to see them make their own dreams come true... i am so afraid now... i sat in court again today... listening to all the details of that day... i think about going back to court tomorrow and wonder if there will ever be an end to this... it is a painfully constant reminder that you are gone... but not quite as numbing as nights like this... touch their hearts tonight daddy... remind them that you are near... that nothing could possibly keep you from them... that you are in that place... that special place in our hearts that belongs to only you... i am there tonight in the hopes that you will comfort and calm me... beloved angel... guide me...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

July 23, 2004

I did not know Officer Gaspar personally but I just wanted to show my respect and admiration for him and his family for his service. Thank you!

Police Recruit
H.C.P.D

July 14, 2004

happy 4th of july g... wish you were here... miss you on these special days... no different from every sunrise and sunset... we miss you then too... watch over us... we need you... beloved angel now that guides me... forever in my heart...

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

July 5, 2004

g... just stopping by as i do every day and read the beautiful message left below by iMuA cLasS oF 2009... a classmate of taysia's... i am not exactly sure who it is... but i am so very thankful that he or she took the time to remember you on father's day... so very often i feel like the rest of the world has gone on with their lives while we desperately try to rebuild ours... we miss you so much... to iMuA cLasS oF 2009... thank you for thinking of "Uncle Glen" today and God bless you... keep an eye of taysia for us both and please give your daddy a great big hug today AND EVERYDAY!!!!

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

June 22, 2004

Dear Officer Glen,
HAPPY FATHERS DAY! Last night while i was praying i said "thank you for my father." Then i thought...wait some people don't physically have fathers with them. So I changed my prayer to : thank you lord for all the fathers here and with you. I know that it might be hard not being here physically but spiritually I know you were celebrating with your family.
Aloha.
iMuA cLasS oF 2009

June 21, 2004

happy father's day g... it was a quiet celebration... they say time heals but i am finding that hard to believe... weird that as this day approached i caught myself thinking of how we would celebrate it... just like you were here... we miss you... we all miss you... know that you are loved today and every day... HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

rg...
gg3127... eow 3.04.03...

June 21, 2004