Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Jay,
The holiday experience was very surreal for Noelle and I. I still find myself in disbelief when I think of the fact that you are gone. You are gone from this world, but not from our memories nor from our hearts. Noelle has had a hard time lately. She's 8 now, so young, yet so intuitive, thoughtful, and sensitive. At times I think those around her forget that she too is dealing with a loss too hard to bear. She told me that we have to start looking in the sky at night to find the brightest star because Ms. Carla said that you told her in a dream that you were the brightest star in the sky! This I believe, for many nights I have looked to the sky and seen that star! Noelle has bad dreams. Please let her feel your presence and send her sweet dreams. She misses you so much. She's just not the same child anymore. I give her all the love I can, but I don't know that it's quite enough. Margaux asked me this morning, "When we die and go to heaven, will we see Daddy?" I told her yes and she giggled.
We miss you. We love you.

Kim

January 5, 2004

Jay,

We missed you so much at Christmas. I was so glad that I got to spend time at your mom's with Noelle and Margaux and your family on Christmas day. Noelle and Margaux will never want for anything and I know that's what you were working so hard for. You have succeeded in taking care of them. I can still see the void in their lives and I know they miss their daddy so much. Margaux got a new blanket for Christmas and she laid it on the floor. She then looked at us and asked, "Where's my daddy's pillow?" We gave her the pillow and she fixed her a little pallet on the floor. She is the spitting image of you and so is Noelle. I want you to know that I will always be here for them and your family. I know you are watching from above and watching them grow up. They will never be able to forget you and I'll be able to remind them what a brave and loving father they have. We all miss you so much!!! Please watch over us all and please send "Coop" a little sign to let him know that you are okay and that you wouldn't have wanted anybody else there that day. If you could've picked anyone to be there with you during your time to go, you would've picked Coop -- I know that cause I always remember you talking about Coop. He was like your idle and I used to pick with Coop about it. I remember eating at Burger King every morning---me, you and Coop....We always ate in the Kiddie play room and always talked about setting off the alarm so we could come in and play in the balls. We were just big kids at heart. It's hard to be that way now. It seems like all of our innocence and care free spirit was taken that day with you and David. Please help us all find it back in our hearts for that's what made you a good police officer. You were always serious when needed to be, but you had it in your heart to have fun and enjoy your job. We miss you!
I love you #465!

Cp. Whitstine
Alexandria P.D.

January 2, 2004

Jay,

I'm sorry for not writing anything sooner. It's been hard for me as well as others to accept everything that happened that day. I just want you to know that I think about you quite often. It's even harder at times to talk to your mom, but when we do speak, it makes me smile. Thanks for everything that you are.

PFC Sammie Dauzat 453
Alexandria Police Department

December 29, 2003

I salute you for showing all of mankind what a hero is and should be. I salute your family for raising a hero such as you. I will pray for you and your family because even though we never met, you were one of my brothers. We will never lay down to the threat of evil for we shall always be the agents of Gods wrath.

SPO S. Willis
Austin, Tx. PD-SWAT

December 26, 2003

Jay,

I miss you everyday and think about you everytime I put on this uniform. You are my hero. You were like a brother I never had. I hope you know that I will always be here for the family that you left behind, for they are my family too now. I know you are watching over me everyday. Please know that you are always in our hearts. I love you, "Stone"

Cpl. Carla Whitstine
Alexandria Police Dept.

December 11, 2003

Rest easy Blue Angel, your sacrifice will never be forgotten ... neither will you.

Andy

November 28, 2003

JAY, I WAS RIDING DOWN LEVIN STREET TONIGHT AND THINKING ABOUT THE TIMES WE USED TO HAVE WORKING OVER THERE. LOOKING BACK, I DIDN'T REALIZE IT AT THE TIME, BUT THOSE WERE SOME OF THE BEST TIMES I HAVE HAD SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE. IT'S HARD TO DRIVE BY CERTAIN SPOTS NOW, BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF ALL THE STUFF WE USED TO GET INTO. ME AND 354 WERE TALKING THE OTHER DAY, AND HE BROUGHT UP HOW HE USED TO CALL YOU "P-B-P", AND IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO BREAK INTO TEARS.
WORKING AROUND THIS PLACE ISN'T THE SAME, AND I DON'T GUESS IT EVER REALLY WILL BE. EVERY DAY I SEE SOMETHING, OR HEAR SOMETHING, OR REMEMBER SOMETHING, AND IT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT YOU. SOME THINGS MAKE ME LAUGH, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HERE TO LAUGH ABOUT IT WITH ME.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL GET OVER THIS, AND TO BE HONEST, I'M NOT SO SURE IF I CAN. ALL I AM SURE OF IS THAT I SEEM TO MISS YOU MORE EACH DAY. THIS WHOLE THING SUCKS, AND TIME IS NOT REALLY MAKING THINGS ANY EASIER TO ACCEPT. YOU'RE MY HERO, AND I JUST HOPE THAT YOU KNOW IT. YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY PARTNER. I LOVE YOU, JAY. GODSPEED.

CPL CHRIS COOPER
ALEXANDRIA POLICE DEPT

November 28, 2003

God speed brother, you will never bw forgoten.

D/O
Madison Co Sheriff,s dept

November 20, 2003

Well Jay, where do i even began at. I feel a tremendious void that i don't think will ever be filled by the loss of you and David. Some of the best times of my life have been spent with you and David. Some of the funnest times i think about, were when we rode together and would always get a ton of dope off the street. You were always a true warrior-you never gave up even when the toughest adversity stood in your way. One of the best hunts that i ever went on was with you. It was a beautiful afternoon, very cold, very windy, but the sun was shinning so bright. We didn't kill anything, we just talked for hours; but i felt that we really connected that day. Jay, you will always be a source of inspiration and courage for me. I LOVE YOU.

CPL ROBERT DISTEFANO 398
ALEXANDRIA POLICE DEPT.

November 5, 2003

What a wonderful Son you have been, You have made me so proud to be your Mom. When God gave you to me, I always knew he could take you back. I thank him so much for 29 and a half years I've had to play with you, I can honestly say we have had a fun time. I couldn't imagine having a finer son than you. Thank you for all the memories, as a Mom I have truly been blessed. As a baby in my arms I gave you all the love and care I could, and as you grew into a young man you gave it all back to me, and then some. Since the day you were taken from us, you continue to give. I can't see you here on earth anymore, but your spirit is always near. Sometimes when I tell a really corny joke, I can hear you laughing, then you would say "mama you are so corny", I could always make you laugh even when you didn't want to. You know I can't think of anything we didn't talk about, we talked about it all and we always new how each other felt about things. I'm so glad we always enjoyed talking and spending time together. I truly enjoyed watching you become a father, Noelle and Margaux are definitely a gift from God, They will grow up knowing all about you and all the things you did. I know I didn't understand why you wanted to be a Police Officer, but I understand now. I knew you loved what you did and thats was enough for me, but I truly understand now, It takes a special person to do that job. Jay I will never forget what happened on Wise Street, and my life will never be the same, but there is something you and I both know Wise Street can't take from me, My Joy and my love for God. I thank God once again for you, a wonderful son, brother,uncle, father, friend and POLICEMAN. I will always love you,
Mom

Pat Carruth
Jay's Mom

October 29, 2003

I sit here in total sadness reading reflections on Jay's life as a father and dedicated police officer. I am the father of two young girls (ages 3 and 6). Kim, the words that you wrote about Noelle and Margie missing their dad, struck such a deep nerve and I lost it in front of the computer. I feel so much compassion for your girls. I can only picture two beautiful little lives that will forever be altered by the loss of such an important figure in their lives. I lost my father as a young child and have experienced the void. You seem to be a very strong person and you will do a marvelous job providing for the girls. They will always know that their daddy is a hero and that he will always be with them. I am forever touched by these readings. PLEASE CONTACT ME IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT I COULD DO TO HELP YOU OR THE GIRLS.

Sincerely,
Matt Crisafulli

DFC. Matt Crisafulli
Worcester County Sheriffs Office, Eastern SHore of Md.

October 26, 2003

10/20/2003 THINKING OF YOU!!
Pat,
From one mother to another. I know your pain. Thank you for the encouragement you have given me along the way.
This is one club I wish no other mother had to know.
May Jay's children continue to light up your life (as Glen's 2 year old daughter and 7 month old son do for me).
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family.
Love,
Kay Wood
Mother of Deputy City Marshal Glen DeVanie EOW 4/2/2003
Alexandria, Louisiana

Kay D.Wood

October 20, 2003

Patrolman Jay Carruth, I read your memorial page today and wanted to let you and your family know that your fellow officers are thinking of you. Your sacrifice was great and you continue to be our hero. God Bless

Clearwater, FL PD (SWAT) 08/20/03

Officer
Clearwater, FL PD

August 22, 2003

Jay, it is so hard to believe that it has been almost 6 months since you left this world. I would have never thought that morning that you came by for breakfast that it would be your last day on this earth. I remember how syked you were about your mission that day. I will never forget the times we shared together since you returned from Cuba. I know the changes in your life were hard for you and I am glad that I could be there to help. The funeral was beautiful, but it was very hard to see your family and not let them know how much we cared for each other. I have been preparing my classroom for the new school year but for the very first time I find myself not very excited about the upcoming year. You will never be forgotten, and your family will remain in my prayers.

CRA

August 19, 2003

Jay,
What a hard summer it has been for the girls and I. There were some tough dates to deal with: Father's Day, 4th of July, and of course your birthday. We are making it with the support of Nana and PawPaw, who also think of you everyday. Noelle and Margaux are doing well. It's hard to believe Noelle will be starting 2nd grade this year and Margaux just turned 3! They miss you so much. Margaux looks to the sky every day and says, "Hi, Daddy!" or "Daddy, where are you?" Noelle keeps your picture in her wallet and is so proud to show it to anyone...at Wal-Mart, Target, etc. She proudly tells people, "I'm Jay Carruth's daughter." She also keeps our family pictures and other momentos in a special keepsake box. We think of you every day and can't wait to see you again. Please watch over us from heavan above!

Kim

My Better Half,
Its been a year today that we met and my life changed for the better. That night we hated each other at first because of your arrogance, but little did we know seven months later we would be planning a wedding in your mom and dads beautiful backyard. Its still hard to wake up each morning and face another day knowing that your not here to share it with. You were my strengh, my best friend, and my life and its so strange how quick how your world can be taken away. I miss you so much every second of everyday. The one thing that helps me everyday is knowing that your with the Lord and we will be reunited again.
I Love You,
Sunni

Sunni Thomas

I had the opportunity of knowing Jay about two months. He talked to me about my divorce and about how I could be happy again because he said that he was the happiest he has been in years because he is now a "realist" and understands what life is all about. Thanks my brother in blue for teching me what life is all about. GODS SPEED MY FRIEND.

Anonymous

IT'S BEEN 5 MONTHS SINCE YOU LEFT THIS WORLD. EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OR ARTICLE IT BRINGS BACK A LOT OF EMOTIONS AND ANGER. I KNOW GOD HAD A BIGGER PURPOSE FOR YOU IN HEAVEN AND I KNOW YOU HAVE FULFILLED IT. WE WEREN'T THE CLOSEST OF FRIENDS BUT I MISS THE TALKS WE HAD. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU CALLED ME TO TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE. I HAD JUST GONE THROUGH THE SAME THING AND MY DAUGHTER WAS CLOSE TO THE SAME AGE AS YOUR TWO DAUGHTERS, SO I GUESS THAT IS WHERE OUR FRIENDSHIP BEGAN AND WORKING THE SAME SHIFT. I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO BUY THAT HARLEY YOU WANTED SO BAD THAT WE WENT TO MARKSVILLE TO LOOK AT.
JAY, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. THERE ARE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND. EVERYTIME I LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER IT REMINDS ME OF YOUR LITTLE GIRLS AND HOW UNFAIR IT IS FOR THEM TO GROW UP WITHOUT THEIR DADDY. I DON'T KNOW IF WRITING THIS WILL HELP BUT I HAVE NEVER DEALT WITH ANYTHING LIKE THIS. I MEAN I HAVE HAD LOVED ONES AND FAMILY MEMBERS TO PASS ON BUT NOT TAKEN LIKE YOU AND DAVE WERE. THEY SAY EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND I GUESS I WILL FIND OUT WHEN WE MEET AGAIN.
THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE.

Anonymous

JAY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW THINGS ARE NOW THAT YOU AND DAVID ARE GONE. NOTHING IS THE SAME, AND IT'S JUST SO HARD FOR ALL OF US TO MOVE ON. AT TIMES THINGS SEEM JUST SO POINTLESS, AND I CAN'T SEEM TO GET PAST THIS. I (WE) JUST MISS YOU TWO SO MUCH, AND I KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING RIGHT NOW PROBABLY DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE, BUT I'M JUST WRITING WHAT I'M THINKING. I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO PARK UP AND TALK WITH YOU ONE MORE TIME, BECAUSE THERE'S JUST SO MUCH STUFF THAT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. YOU AND DAVID WILL ALWAYS BE PART OF THIS TEAM, AND I KNOW THAT THE TWO OF YOU WILL BE WITH US ON EVERYTHING WE DO FROM NOW ON. YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN OUR HEARTS, AND WE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN-CHRIS COOPER.

PFC C. COOPER
ALEXANDRIA POLICE DEPT.

JAY, GOD SPEED MY BROTHER. THIS TEAM OF BROTHERS SHALL NEVER FORGET YOU AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US. I SAW MARGAUX LAST WEEK AND SHE TOLD MY DAUGHTER THAT HER DADDY IS A POLICEMAN AND HE WAS IN HEAVEN NOW. I KNOW THAT IS TRUE BECAUSE YOU GAVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR BROTHER (NO GREATER GIFT). YOUR TEAMATE AND BROTHER. I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN ONE DAY.

PFC J.KING
ALEXANDRIA P.D.

Jay,
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, replaying the past 11 years in my mind. Your laughter, smile, kindness, and unselfishness will always be part of my memories. Even though we had some rough times, the good memories remind me daily of how lucky I am to have been able to spend so many years with you. I think you would be proud of me if I were able to share with you my thoughts about certain things now. You taught me so much or tried to at least. I guess it took you not being here for me to realize certain things. There are two things in my life that you always discussed with me that you thought I needed to work on: not to make hasty decisions and to not worry about what other people think about me. I've learned my lesson about making decisions that haven't been clearly thought out (enough said) and I certainly could care less about what others may think about me now. There are only two people in this world that I worry about now, Noelle and Margie. I live my life solely for them. I will do everything in my human power to make sure that they have fulfilling lives and are given the most love possible until they are reunited with you and Jesus in heaven one day. I struggle every day with the memories, grieving for your presence to be once again on earth. I know it's a selfish thought, for I realize that you are in a better place. It's really hard to think of the trivial things in life and recognize that you can no longer take part: driving your truck, fishing out of your boat, eating your favorite foods, swimming, going to the beach(which you loved-what a great time we had in Gulf Shores last year), hunting, and so forth. The most difficult part of all is trying to fathom the reality that Noelle and Margaux will never see you again here on earth, and that you can't take part in their lives like I know you wanted to. Noelle had her first piano recital recently and all I could think about was the fact that you weren't there to see her perform. She did so well! Father's Day is coming up, I can't get it out of my mind. How is Noelle going to react? I can't take her to church because her Sunday School class will be making things for Dad's. I'll take the girls to the cemetary and we'll look at pictures and talk about good times they shared with you. It's just not fair, that they don't have their Daddy. It makes me so angry. I pray every day that God will give me peace and take away my anger about what happened, but right now I just don't see it happening. I don't think that people recognize my pain and grief. I feel so alone through all of this. I am able to share with Noelle and we talk alot about you. I miss you and the girls miss you. Your memory will forever be embedded in our hearts and souls. Please watch over us.

Love,
Kimbo

Kim

Jay,

I ne'er got to know ye well but I salute your courage and determination. Godspeed, young warrior.

A Teammate

Anonymous

TO OFFICER AND SSG JAY CARRUTH .I SERVED WITH YOU IN THE MILITARY ROLE AND WE WE BOTH SERVED TOGETHER IN THE LAW ENFORCEMENT ROLE,YOU WERE A GOOD FRIEND A GOOD SOLDIER AND A OUTSTANDING COP.I KNOW YOUR IN A BETTER PLACE ,BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MISSED HERE AT HOME.

officer joey brown
SHREVEPORT PD /239 TH MP

To the Carruth family there are no words to express the sorrow and loss that is felt when we loose a family member.There are many who grieve the loss simply because its the proper thing to do when a brother in blue is lost. But for those of us who knew him the loss is more personal. May no one ever forget the great sacrafice that Jay made or the great tragedy which took him from us. Our hearts and prayers go with you. Through all of this there is an underlying tragedy that is the greatest of all. When I look on the faces of Jays children and see the brokenness of their world it is a crushing pressure that surrounds me. I grieve most for them. May you find comfort in knowing that there are hundreds of guardian angels wearing blue that will watch over them.
Matthew 11:28-30 May peace someday find its way back into your heart. Our hearts, thoughts and prayers will forever be with you. Love forever 065 and family.

Anonymous

I knew not of officer Carruth well however we did work together at fort polk as fellow law enforcement officers and america's protectors. I was and am and always will be saddened not only for him and his family and friends but for all fallen officers. I know that Jay is keeping the heavon's safe on patrol for the rest of us. Jay will never go un forgotten in the Military Police community. God Bless and God Speed fellow Vipor.

SSG Coker

SSG James A. Coker
91st Military Police Det