Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

"True love is when one spirit finds it's counterpoint in another" (wedding crashers)

Hi Pumpkin,

Three years, there hasn't been a day I have not thought about you or missed you. I went to see the above movie on the 10th. I tend to do the distraction approach when it gets close to your EOW. The above quote stood out, and surprisingly, I was able to remember it! I think I am inheriting your habit forgetting!

I couldn't help but think of how true this verse is. How rare it is to find your counterpoint. I've never thought of anyone this way, except you, past or present. It's the truth, I can't help the way I feel.

I've made a lot of scarifices in the past three years, but my feelings and my heart I refuse to scarifice. I only have a few days of the year I can openly remember you in my life.

It's hard enough losing you, but having to bear it in silence in my everyday life 358 days out of the year makes it worse. Others can turn to the person next to them and openly talk about you without feeling as though they shouldn't talk about you. I cannot. I do have a few friends I can talk to when the need over-whelms me, but it's not the same. I can't have a picture of you in the open. It's like I have to hide you and my true feelings in my everyday, personal, living life.

Sacrificing for the comfort of others.

I might be some-what bitter about this, but I cannot say it hasn't helped me. It has helped more than I like to admitt. There's a reason for everything. I might wish things could be different in a lot manners, but would I be emotionally at the point I am if things were different? I honestly do not think so. So, the bad turned good, and there's freedom in it. I was looking at the ground as I typed this and found a dime heads up. Hmmm, Thank You.

So, the 10th brought the above qoute, and a dream of you. You came home from a long trip and we were so happy to see each other. I remember every dream, they always give me a sense of peace, and that everything is alright and good.

I went to the zoo on the 11th (can we say distraction!). But, I thought of you the whole time (not much of distraction going to a place a nature lover like you would have liked!). I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the elk! Remember them! :) You would have loved the polar bear exhibit. Who knows, you might have seen it that day. The walk to the main exhibit, and the tunnel with them swimming above you! You could put your hand on the glass when their paws touched it. Beautiful. I know you would have appreciated the beauty of it.

Afterwards I went to visit you. I stopped to find flowers and balloons. I found the flowers, but they didn't have a balloon that said what I orginally wanted to say, and when I was getting ready to leave I saw it.

A blue balloon with angels and this:

"For he shall give his angels charge over you to keep you in all your ways"

Perfect

On this day you became an Angel. A guardian and guide to all those who love you and remember you.

As you know I stayed until I couldn't see anymore, and then spent the evening with a few who love and remember you. One in particular help me more then he could possibly imagine. During our long talks he shared with me your visit, and what you said.

"A second here is a hundred years there" (You to someone)

There's peace in this. I could live another 50 some years, and when I die it would have only been half a second to you. All the hard feelings, the disappointments, the negativity won't matter there. It's foolish to think all the negativity on earth will transcend to Heaven. All of that ends with your last breath. I know my heart, so I'm positive I'll see you in Heaven. From talking to you about this topic, I know where your heart is, and I know you are there now.

Thank you for startling me that night. It frightened me for a second when I woke and saw the outline, but then I realized it was you as I sat up, your shape, strange how it happened, but comforting.

The second time you done this to me!
(and I loved each time)

Pumpkin, you were remembered by so many. They didn't need to be with me or your family to remember you. I know a few were with neither, but their thoughts were with you and they didn't forget you, and that's all that matters. I'm just glad they remembered, even if I wasn't there to remember with them.

My thoughts were with them and your family. I know the day was just as hard for everyone as it was for me. I hope everyone was able to enjoy a lot of laughter and smiles as they talked about you.

Love you,

Honey Bunny

August 17, 2005

Scottie,
It has been 3 years since your death,
i just want to let you know that I am thinking about you and give my support to Monica and your family.....GOD BLESS.

August 15, 2005

Scotty,

It has now been three years since the night someone robbed you of your life and robbed your family of a son, brother and uncle. The night before the 11th is always the hardest for me. It brings that night and all of the details whirling back into my head like I am standing there once again. I still remember everything just as it happened, I can still see the doctors face, the sea of officers outside when I tried to call Allen, Jordan's look of confusion, you, knowing there was no hope, but still clinging to a miracle.

Then I get up on the 11th and the family and some friends go to the cemetary to bring flowers and send balloons up to you. The girls write notes to you. Most of what they write and draw is sad faces with tears and the words "I miss you" and "I love you". The adults hide the tears behind their sunglasses, but we all know that they are being shed for you that day.

Mom and Dad have an open house after we get back from the cemetary. Scotty, I am amazed by all of the people who still come by to honor you. There were officers, friends, other survivors, inspectors, commanders, and a deputy chief. Being surrounded by all of these friends certainly makes the day easier to get through.

You have been gone for three years now and there has not been a day that I have not thought about you. Things are going good for the family, we all have our bad days, but we are each doing something in our lives to honor you. We each have that one little thing that we do because it makes our lives easier and I think we all do that little thing for you.

I know that you are watching over all of us with that stern look you liked to give, to make sure we do not let our grief get the better of us. You do not want us to spend our days grieving for you. There will always be sadness for what we missed out on by not having you around. There will always be tears when we allow ourselves to really think about that night and how it changed us and our lives.

I miss you little brother and I wish with all of my heart that you were here with us. As always, watch over your friends and your three nieces, keep them all safe!

I love you,
Andrea

August 14, 2005

Thank you to everyone who stopped by on August 11th to help us remember Scotty and the sacrafice he made. You are each so special to the family and we were honored by everyone's show of support on a day that the family really needs that support. We are amazed by the amount of people who came by to help us remember a hero. So again, we thank you for making sure that Scotty is not forgotten!

Thank you for keeping his memory alive,
Andrea
on behalf of the Stewart Family

August 14, 2005

Scott,
Yesterday, was a very dark day in the city of Detroit. Why? The only words to think of is why? You are and will always be known as a remarkable human being,and Officer though you are in a better place you are so deeply missed here. Wish things were different and you would be here with all of us. It was a pleasure to have known you . And to the Stewart Family I am so so sorry for the tremendous loss. Your son, brother,and Uncle was a true Hero to everyone...

The Connaire Family
Grosse Pointe Park Police Dpartment

August 12, 2005

about a year ago on a visit from Raleigh NC to DC. I stoped by the wall and was a memorial with his photo left on top of the wall. I took a photo of it and I just incorporated it into my web page with some other officers from around home. God bless his friends and family, heaven is safer with another officer there.

Sgt. Jim Boyle
Dorothea Dix St. Hospital Police
2005-07-28

Sergeant, Jim Boyle
Dorothea Dix State Hospital Police Dept. (NC)

August 12, 2005

You are sadly missed, but oh so lovingly remembered. You're alive in our hearts, and with us in spirit in all that we do as a family.

Hi Scotty,
Three years have gone by, seems like yesterday. Aug. 11th was spent here at the house.I can't believe all the people that stopped by to honor you and spend time with us and for that the family thanks each and everyone.Hope you got the balloons sent up to you.
Jordan, Haley, and Shelby sent you a note. They are getting very good at that.
Will always miss and love you.
Sending lots of HUGS.
Mom

AUDREY STEWART
MOTHER

August 12, 2005

To Nonica and the family of Officer Stewart. My thoughts and prayers are with you on this day. I know all to well the pain that you are going through. Stay strong.

Peggy Dreher - wife of LEO
Sister of Patrick Maher EOW 8-2-03

August 11, 2005

Monica,
I have never met you, I may not even reconize you if I walked passed you on the street. You will be in my thoughts though as I go about my day, I pray that you can get through today and crack a few smiles thinking about the man that was taken from you. I have never in my life known somebody to love their siginificant other the way you do. I think Scott was dam lucky to have known such strong love while he was here. Keep your chin up sweetie, I am sure Scott likes to see you smile.

August 11, 2005

With special thoughts of Scott and his family; you are in our hearts and prayers as the 3rd anniversary of this tragedy comes around. Audrey, a special prayer for you - how difficult it is to lose a son. Scott is resting peacefully in heaven now!

Up North MI

August 10, 2005

It will 3 years that this senseless act occurred. I know the pain and broken hearts left behind because of one individual that has no idea of the chaos he has left behind. You are a true Hero Officer Stewart and will never be forgotten. Watch over your family.

Robert Gordon, Father of fallen Officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Robert Gordon, Asst. Chief, Retired
Riverside PD, Illinois

August 10, 2005

My heart goes out to you, the entire Stewart family, as it will be 3 years ago tomorrow that you lost your beloved Scottie. Although you are ALWAYS in my thoughts, I want you to know that I will be saying an extra special prayer for all of you tonight!

Love,
Kathy
(aka Carol)

SHPD

August 9, 2005

Even after all these years
I miss you when you're not here
I wish you were here my dear
Even if it's just a day
I miss you when you're away
I wish you were here today dear

Even if it's just one night
I miss you and it don't feel right
I wish you were here tonight dear
Even if it's just one hour
I wilt just like a fading flower
Ain't nothing in the world like our love dear

Oh
I'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever gonna let you go
Oh
I'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever gonna let you go

Even when I'm miles at sea
And nowhere is the place to be
Your spirit's watching over me dear
Even when I watch T.V.
There's a hole where you're supposed to be
There's nobody lying next to me dear

Oh
I'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever gonna let you go
Oh
I'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever gonna let you go

Even after all this time
I miss you like the sun don't shine
Without I'm a one track mind dear
After all is really said and done
The two of us are really one
The goddess really smiled upon our love dear

August 8, 2005

To the Stewart family,
I know Scott's eow date is coming up and I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you as the day gets closer. I have read many of your reflections and it seems like Scott and my brother, Nick were alot alike. I just wish that this would never happen to another family.

Kelly Brown
PO Nick Sloan's sister EOW 1-30-04

August 7, 2005

This song was sung in our church recently. Try to obtain a copy and listen. It is beautiful and comforting...

"I Heard the Voice of Jesus"

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
"Come unto Me and rest;
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down,
Thy head upon My breast."
I came to Jesus as I was,
Weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting-place,
And He has made me glad.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
"Behold, I freely give
The living water; thirsty one,
Stoop down and drink and live."
I came to Jesus, and I drank
Of that life-giving stream.
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived,
And now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
"I am this dark world's Light.
Look unto Me; thy morn shall rise
And all thy day be bright."
I looked to Jesus, and I found
In Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that Light of Life I'll walk
Till traveling days are done.

N/A

August 7, 2005

I'm probably going on and on
It seems I'm doing more of that these days

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love
this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you
Others say that I should just move on

You oughta see the way these people look at me
When they see me 'round here talking to this stone

Everybody thinks I've lost my mind
But I just take it day by day

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes I feel an angel's touch
Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love
this much
God gave me a moment's grace
'Cause if I'd never seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

August 1, 2005

about a year ago on a visit from Raleigh NC to DC. I stoped by the wall and was a memorial with his photo left on top of the wall. I took a photo of it and I just incorporated it into my web page with some other officers from around home. God bless his friends and family, heaven is safer with another officer there.

Sgt. Jim Boyle
Dorothea Dix St. Hospital Police

July 28, 2005

Another officer in Michigan has joined you and with this death I again think of you. August 11th is coming upon us very quickly, how I hate that day. I will be with your family, I find comfort in them. I remember hearing at your funeral that the apple does not fall far from the tree, and I can see that in your family. I know that you will be with all of us on that day as we remember you.

You have not been forgotten!

July 27, 2005

I whisper your name...to myself
I whisper...I need you and I love you
I whisper...I still think of you
I whisper...goodnight until we meet again
I whisper...take care of us, I hope your angel ears can hear my whispers here on earth
I whisper...because I'm afraid that if I speak too loudly, my heart will hear and break again...
So I just whisper...


Hi pumpkin,

I hope you had a great birthday. Sorry, I didn't write that day. I came here and I couldn't write. I hope you enjoyed your chocolate milk and what I left for you. My singing is horrible, so you had to endure that!! (but, it's not as bad as yours!) :) I smile every time I think of you singing.

I miss you. Life is funny. My cousin asked me if I regret what happened in the past because I'm working in Detroit. No, I don't. It took me years to see that it wasn't a mistake, but a kick to the path I was meant to walk. I would have never discovered the profession I love, nor would I have experienced you. I know we were meant for each other (everyday you have been gone has proved it to me).

I am that special someone you searched for. 30 years, in 30 years you never uttered the words "I love you" to any woman, but me. You did not say those words lightly, and you didn't give your heart to anyone casually. I love you, I have never stopped loving you. I am very thankful you chose me to love. You taught me so much, you would be so happy with certain lessons learned! See, I was listening! (smile)

I love you,
Honey Bunny

July 27, 2005

Thinking of you...Wish you were here.

July 19, 2005

SCOTTY,
WE MADE IT DOWN THE RIVER ONCE AGAIN KEEPING ALL THE TRADITIONS GOING ON AND OF COURSE ADDED A FEW NEW ONES. IT WAS SO HOT THIS YEAR THERE WAS ACTUALLY TIMES THAT YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WITH A CHAIR BY THE CAMP FIRE.
YOU ARE STILL FRESH IN EVERYBODY'S MEMORIES. WE HAD LOTS OF LAUGHS TELLING STORIES AND JUST REMEMBERING HOW YOU ARE STILL A FRIEND TO ALL OF US.
THERE IS ALOT MORE THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU BUT I WILL SAVE IT FOR THE DAY WHEN WE MEET AGAIN.
P.S. THANKS FOR WATCHING MY BACK

OFC. M. KUNATH
STERLING HEIGHTS P.D.

July 18, 2005

A very belated Happy Birthday to you Scotty, as you know my computer was down.
I know you recieved the balloons the girls sent you and hope you enjoyed the little show they put on for you.Haley told me next year we should send you a birthday cake. I told her I would see what we could do.

Even with everything going on in their life, the Harts found time to do a blood drive in your memory. That means so much to the family.
Miss you, love you
Mom

Audrey Stewart

July 18, 2005

Happy Birthday Scotty!

Today is about you and your life. The family will visit you and then we will help Kim Hart with the blood drive. Look for the balloons that the girls release for you. This year they are writing you notes. Jordan really misses you, she always wants to know why wishes do not come true. She tells me there is only one thing that she would wish for, but that she knows that it would never happen. She still talks about you all of the time.

The All Star Game may keep people from coming and donating, but I think that any blood that they can get right now will help. We will see how it goes today. Next year a church is getting involved and they are going to do a mass to celebrate your life, this year they became involved a little to late to do what they wanted. So I guess there will be a 3rd annual blood drive in your memory.

I miss you and I too wish that you were still here. Watch over your friends, some really need you as their angel.

Love you!
Andrea

PS: Jordan wanted to sing you a song..

Happy Birthday to you...cha cha cha
Happy Birthday to you...cha cha cha
Happy Birthday Uncle Scotty,
Happy Birthday to you...Scooby Do

miss you
love,
Jordan

July 12, 2005

Thinking of you on this holiday weekend. Wish you were here.

July 2, 2005

Monica,
I'm thinking of you always, keeping you in my prayers. Your love for Scott and dedication to his legacy has been an inspriation to so many. I know that he is proud of you.

Love,
Kel

Kelly
Josh's Kelly

July 1, 2005