Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

"Still"

Funny when you stop and think
times goes faster then you blink
nothings ever like it was
but we've got a special thing
all the happiness it brings
is more than enough

I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
all I ever wanted was you
your still the one

It's hard to breathe when were apart
your like sunshine in my heart
I keep you here inside
you've been everything to me
you've been and always will be
the apple of my eye

And I know its hard to believe
your still the biggest part of me
all I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I still mad about you
all i ever wanted was you
your still the one

If you love me
look into my eyes and say you do
I've been waiting all my life
for someone just like you
pumpkin all that we've been through
I'm still in love with you
and I want you to know I do, I do

I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
and need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
all I ever wanted was you
your still the one


Pumpkin,

Tomorrow is our anniversary. I don't know if I will be able to write we are working 12s for the Superbowl starting tomorrow, so here I am. It would have been five years. Part of me still cannot believe we have been forced to count the years apart. I'm doing the best I can trying to live, trying to force myself to enjoy all the things life brings, but half of my heart is gone - dead. It was buried with you and nothing I do can bring it back to life. It's so hard to explain this feeling. Outside I bounce around in my normal self, smiling, laughing, but dreading when someone asks me a honest question about how I truly feel. I listen to my girlfriends talk about their relationships and all the love they have. It hurts, because I remember what I had....I know I'll never have that again. 3 years has convinced me of this. I never thought I would feel this way about this part of my life - indifferent. I think I've just come to accept this part of my life. My love, my soulmate is gone. I can love... but it's different.

I remember the first time we said I love you and you questioned me about the degrees of love. I knew what you were talking about then, but now I truly understand.

We only had a short time together, but you left such a lasting impression on me. The happiest times of my life were spent with you. I would give anything to have a moment of it back. As one girlfriend said you were my prince. Yeah, you were. I appreciated, and loved every moment. Every hug, every kiss, every time you open the door for me, or did something just to make me smile. Everytime you shared your chocolate and Moose Tracks with me, I knew how much you loved those things, and it meant so much when you broke the last piece of chocolate to give me half. :)

I wish for one moment of it back. I would not let you go. My only comfort is I will be with you again, and no one can separate us.

I was going through some of you things today. I picked up a pair of your pants - the waist came to my chest. I forgot how tall you were compared to me. God, I miss you!

Others miss you too. I spent last week with a couple of our friends. Remember the hershey kisses? she'll never forget. The other loves you and misses you so much, I hear it in his voice, and see it in his eyes. Thank you for stopping by to see him, it meant the world to him.

Well, I better go. I gave myself a headache crying today. So many memories in that box. The floral shirt is still my favorite. I remember when we bought it. You wanted one, but you could bring yourself to wear bright colors, so you bought an army green, gray and white! I still laugh about it. You stepped a little out of your box, but just a toe. :)

I love your ways.

I love you,
Happy Anniversary,

Honey Bunny

January 31, 2006

Hi Scotty,

Well, we had a fundraiser in your memory last night to raise money for the memorial in Lansing. It went very well. We were able to raise a good amount of money for the memorial, but we would not have been able to do it without all of the help people were so willing to give. This all started because Kim wanted to raise money for this memorial and asked if we would do it in your memory. We thought it was a great idea! So with the help of the Harts, Eric, Mike, Kathy, Darrin, Marv, Dana, Dina we were able to sell most of the tickets to the dinner. The number of people who turned out to help yesterday was amazing. The Harts and Joe were there early yesterday getting things set up and ready, then everyone started to show up to help, it was truly amazing. The Decker clan, Jerilyn, Kathy, Evelyn, Mike, Darrin, Steve, Patty, Shelly, Joe and Marv all turned out to help put the event on. Tracy and Debbie donated great desserts! Even Lopez got into the spirit with a great donation from his union and association!

We are so proud to donate this money in your memory! Everyone worked so hard to make sure this was a success. As I sat at the door I had the big picture of you to look at all evening. It made me feel like you truly were there looking out over everything.

Keep watch over your fellow brothers and sisters in blue, let's keep the new names that need to be added to this wall to a minimum. I would say let's stop adding names, but unfortunately I think we will always be adding names as officers risk their lives to make our communities a better place for our families.

Thank you for being Jordan, Haley and Shelby's blue angel.

I miss you,
Andrea

January 26, 2006

Hi Scotty,
Just wanted to let you know what a great friend you have in New Jersey.

Will always miss and love you.
Sending a big hug
Mom

Audrey Stewart
Mother

January 24, 2006

Just want to say I love you,

Life has been busy, but you are always in my mind.

I love you,
Monica

January 17, 2006

Officer Stewart..just wanted to say that you & your family are still in my thoughts & prayers as it will be 3 1/2 years next month of your tragic death..

i also wanted to say thank you for being with those officers on sunday when that idiot decided to start shooting at them..i know you - Officers Bowens & Fettig were watching over all of them..especially the one that was shot..he was treated at a local hospital & released..THANK YOU AGAIN!..and thank you for helping them find the shooter as well..

YOU ARE GONE..BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN..REST IN PEACE & WITH EASE BLUE ANGEL!!!!

girlfriend of a dpd
detroit

January 11, 2006

My old friend, I recall
The times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me
Their woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend, I apologize
For the years that have passed
Since the last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the running and the races
The people and the places
There's always somewhere else I had to be
Time gets slim, my old friend

Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why

My old friend, this song's for you
Cause a few a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend

Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye

My old friend, my old friend
Goodbye, goodbye

December 31, 2005

Merry Christmas!!!

I hope you like your tree and chocolate. I thought of you all day. I miss you. After I was told that good news I was able to pull it together and found the strength to finish everything I needed to do. I hosted again, and of course I put to much on my plate! lol.

I wonder what it was like with you in Heaven. How do you celebrate the day? I'm sure it was beautiful and fun.

Another year is coming to a close. Many changes. A lot of good ones, more good than bad, thank God!

We're still waiting for the smoke to settle in the department. I know you would not like it. I shrug my shoulders about it. I went back to noons, and got a good partner. We'll see how things go. I find myself thinking more about things at dangerous runs, the thought of leaving Molly behind....I hope you see her, me with blond hair. But, I don't let it stop me or deter me. I have a job to do.

Thank you for watching over me. I think I'm doing pretty well on this road, and I know you're helping me along.

I have to go back on the street... watch over us.

I love you,
Honey Bunny

December 26, 2005

We missed you!!!!

Merry Christmas

December 26, 2005

WHEN I GET WHERE I'M GOING-BRAD PAISLEY
When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

(Chorus:)
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

(Chorus)

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

merry Christmas Scott & Monica.
LEO Fiancee and friend of Peter Grignon EOW 3/23/05

December 24, 2005

Officer Stewart..just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR! hope you have a great time celebrating our Lord's birth with the other fallen heros..please be with your family & help them get through these next couple of weeks..i can't say that i know what they are feeling..but i'm sure the holidays are the toughest for them without..

continue to watch over them & your fellow brothers/sisters in blue..

YOU ARE GONE..BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN..REST IN PEACE & WITH EASE BLUE ANGEL!!

girlfriend of a dpd
detroit

December 23, 2005

Scott,

I just heard such wonderful news. I'm so glad to know you hear me. Thank you for finding him. I hope you two are having a great time preparing for Christmas.

I found your ornament. It just popped out at me. I had something in my hand and then I saw them. Your boots. They look just like your brown work boots. the ones you wore all the time! LOL. They were the only ones in the whole section. I knew it was what you picked. They brightened my day!

Thank you for them, and for finding your new buddy. When she told me I started to tear-up, but out of happiness.

I miss you, but I know you are in great hands. I'll see you soon.

I love you,
Monica

December 19, 2005

Dear Monica,
I'm so glad we talked last night. Thanks for all your encouragement. I know Scott looks down on you and smiles. He's in your heart forever.

Much love,
Kel

Kelly Gillain
OfficerDownSignigicantOthers

December 19, 2005

Another Christmas is approaching without you. I'm trying so hard to be cheerful and get into the holiday spirit, but I'm failing miserably. I miss you so much, I cannot stop thinking about you. I started to put the tree together and when I took out one of your ornaments I had to stop. I still haven't finished it. I had a reading done a few months back. you kept coming up in it. She said you are still with me, waiting for me to call on you to help. I know.

I'll be making the trip to Bronner this week. Help me pick out this years ornament for you. Maybe, then I can find the strength to finish the tree.

I love you pumpkin,
Honey Bunny

December 14, 2005

Dear Monica,
Thanks for being you...for all your encouragement, support, and love. I'm heartbroken that I've had to walk this road of grief, but I'm blessed to have been able to walk it with you. Continue to be the wonderful person you are...the person Scott chose and loved. Your efforts to reach out to other fallen officer's families honor Scott and keep his memory alive. He would be so proud. I'm thinking of you, especially during the holiday seasons. I'm sending you big hugs.

Much love,
Kelly
*S/O to Deputy Sheriff Joshua Blyler (EOW: 5.2.04)

P.S. I bet Josh and Scott have become really close. I know they look down on us and smile.

Kelly Gillain
OfficerDownSignificantOthers

December 13, 2005

Missing you, Oh how I wish I could give you the biggest HUG.
Love
Mom

Audrey Stewart
Mother

December 11, 2005

Monica,
I wanted to thank you for leaving a reflection on Terry's Memorial. It was really good to hear from you. As you know all too well the pain I am going through at this time. I am so sorry that you had to lose your soulmate as well. I guess one day we will all find out the reasons for these horrible tragedies. Scott was definitely a Hero, and it is such a shame that he had to pay the ultimate sacrifice as well. Heaven is definitely where our young Heroes and loves are residing. I have no doubt that we will be with them again someday. You and Scott's family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am here anytime you need to talk as well.
Also, I want to Thank You for performing your call of duty. You are much appreciated. I know Scott is so proud of you.

Thanks Scott for serving and protecting so many. You will not be forgotten.

Take Care,
Lynn Harwell
Fiancee' of Det. Terry Melancon
BRPD E.O.W. 8-10-05

December 8, 2005

Officer Stewart..you - your family - friends & co-workers are in my thoughts & prayers..continue to watch over them & your fellow brothers/sisters in blue..YOU MAY BE GONE..BUT YOU ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN..REST IN PEACE & WITH EASE BLUE ANGEL!!!!

to monica..while reading the reflections that you leave for scott..it is obvious that your love for him will never go away..stay strong..you will see him again some day..

one more thing officer Stewart..i read a reflection left by you mom..this is the song she was speaking of by kenny..hope you like it blue angel..


Who You'd Be Today
By Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you'd name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know
I'll see you again someday
Someday, someday.

girlfriend of a dpd
detroit

November 29, 2005

Scotty,

We are spending another holiday without you. Even though you are not here physically, you are always in our hearts and our minds. There is not a day that goes by that we do not talk about you or think about you. I know that your death has had a significant impact on Jordan. When you ask a 10 year old what she is thankful for and her reply is "my family", I know that she realizes how easy it is for a family member to die and not be there for the next holiday.

Keep watch over you family and friends over this holiday season. We know only too well how hard it can be.

Love and miss you,
Andrea

November 24, 2005

Scott, you are just as much in our thoughts and prayers today as you have been every day since that tragic day. May your family continue to feel your spirit by their side, and may they have a happy Thanksgiving and blessed holiday season. Peace be with all of you, and God bless. Thinking of you, Audrey. Be strong!

Up North Michigan

November 24, 2005

Scott,

Happy Thanksgiving. Another holiday season without you here, but you're here in all of our hearts and minds. I'm not the only one who will be thinking of you and fighting back the tears.

Scott, Audrey, and all the family,

Wishing you all many smiles, and much laughter today. I know how hard it is without Scott. We all love and miss him more than anyone could imagine. He is beautiful and unforgettable. Leave some fudge out for him.

Pumpkin,
I'll bring you some chocolate this weekend.

I love you,
Monica

November 24, 2005

Hi Scotty,
Another Thanksgiving without you, but you will always be in our heart.I will have the dinner here and as always we will eat to much.

On Monday Andrea and I went to the dedication of the second phase of the Michigan Fallen Heroes Memorial in Oakland.I am so glad there is something in Michigan that honors all the fallen heroes.

Tonight I watched Kenny Chesney Somewhere in the Sun. He sang a song called Who You'd Be Today. It really hit home. One line It ain't fair you died to young is oh so true.

Last Sat night Dad and I watched the three girls. The next morning when Shelby was eating breakfast she told me she was afraid I told her she never had to be afraid because there were alot of guardian angels watching over her and she said like Uncle Scotty and I told her yes like Uncle Scotty.I thought it was so cute.They all talk about you.

Happy Thanksgiving to a BLUE ANGEL.
Miss you, Love you.
Mom

Audrey Stewart
Mother

November 23, 2005

I never really knew Scott, but I have always heard amazing things about him. I sit here reading all the reflections and decided to add a reflection I hope will be something positive to anyone who reads.


There is always things left unsaid
A few things you want to say or do
If only there were another moment
If only this were true
Remember dear loved ones
He will always walk by your side
In a joke or a memory
To you he will never be denied
The memories will always be yours alone
So close your eyes and hold him tight
Feel his arms wrap around you in the wind
These moments last forever in the mind's sight
Stand tall in the face of your sorrows
But know the shadow you cast is not yours
He is standing there beside all of you
Watching what lies ahead of new doors
I know that nothing will be able to bring him back
Look inside yourselves and you will see
He lives on in your hearts and memories
Forever remembered and loved---a true hero, stewie.


For even in death--- Officer Stewart is on watch.

Detroit Police

November 6, 2005

I love you

November 5, 2005

Time for laughing and remembering the good times.

I will always remember singing this song with you. Neither of us can sing, but we always had fun doing it. We even joked about dancing to this one at our wedding. How silly. Especially all the doo doo do du's, lol

your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that i've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here knows how to fight

and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place where we've started from

your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that i've tried
and oh love is better than chocolate
everyone here knows how to cry

and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place where we've started from
do do do....

November 3, 2005

Thinking of you,
Loving you,
Missing you,
Today and everyday.

Today is dia de los muertos. A special day spent celebrating at the gravesites of love ones. I'll bring you some chocolate. I know you're long overdue for some.

I cannot believe how fast time is going by. It seems like only yesterday we were remembering your EOW.

I'll see you later

Love you,

November 2, 2005