Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

"If you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"

August 31, 2003

Dear Jess,

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I wear your braclet on my wrist to class everyday, you are always in my thoughts.
I love you forever and miss you always.

Kristin

August 21, 2003

my thoughts and prayers with the family, friends and department of Ofc. Jessica Nagle-Wilson. too many losses...

Sgt David Nagle
Sonoma Co. Sheriff, CA

Don't do this
And don't say that
Don't have personality
Your character should be flat.

Don't write what we all feel
And are too afraid to say
Don't you know we all worry
That you feel this way?

The more you express
What is on your mind
The more "wrong" things
We will find.

I don't understand
The way things were
I just can't see
How much you love her.

I'm too busy assuming the worst
To reread that second verse
I must lack faith in you
To not believe you'll pull through.

I am sincere
This is from the heart
But if that's true
Maybe I should rethink each part.

Perhaps I should stop
And think of the affect this will have
For you are merely saying
What we all wish we had.

I heard this song the other day and it is the best way I can express how much I miss you and how much you meant and still mean to me. So many things are happening that I want to share with you, that for so long we were able to compare notes on that sometimes it is unbearble to think that one of the few people who REALLY knew me, who I never had to explain anything to is just not there anymore. Thats where this song comes into play-

When it rains it pours and opens doors that flood the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry,
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love that have to say goodbye-
And as I float along this ocean- I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go-
Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me and you make everything alright,
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me and I can always find my way when you are here.
And ever word I didn't say, got caught up in some busy day, and every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before... And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss and pick you up in all of this when I sail away...
Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plain overhead , Instead it just feels like it's impossible to fly, But with you I can spread my wings to see me over everything that life may send me when I am hoping it won't pass me by....
**And when I feel like there's no one that will ever know me, there you are to show me......
Sorry to take up so much space, but I wanted to share this one with you and everyone else. Its just not the same without you here.....

Anonymous

To the sister and the brother.
The mother and the father,
the husband and the inlaws,
the relatives, and friends.
The coworkers, and citizens.
I send this thought to you.
We mourn , we cry ,
we constantly ask why?
We cannot accept that Jess is gone.
I say is that so wrong?
We ackowledge, yes, but accept ?
It just cant be done.
Our lives go on ,
yes this is true.
We carry thru our days.
Taking on the daily life,
but with a different hue.
I say that is ok.
Because that hue ,
is takes on Jess's life,
it takes on who she was.
We see things in a different light,
that hurts at times, that makes us want to scream!
Yet that light also shines ,
to make us really see,
just how precious life can be.
Acceptance is a word,
that I believe, just doesnt fit right now.
Ackowledging our loss,
is all that we can give.

love you and miss you jess.

Anonymous

To Jess my Sester,

Every minute, every hour, everyday I think about you and miss you. I go to the cemetary and I sit and talk to you like you were sitting right next to me. I ask for advice and sometimes I wait for you to answer me and tell me what I should do just like you always have.
That is why I always looked up to you. Not just because you were my sister but because you always knew what to do.
I think about what you did a year ago and how many people you saved that night and I admire you even more. You become my HERO more and more everyday. You always looked out for people and took care of them and who knew that, that would be what took you away from us.. Caring for others.
It is hard to believe that you have been gone for a year. I think for me it has to do with the fact that I don't believe you are really gone. I know you are but I don't believe it. I don't want to.
I just got my first "real job" and I know that most of it had to be because of you. I know that you were with me for both of my interviews. The reason I know that is because the first interview, your name Jessica Wilson was right before mine. The second interview was on July 28th, and that is the day I got the job. How ironic is all of that.. I was more relaxed in those interviews then I have ever been. It was because I knew that you were right there beside me helping me get through it.
You are always with me. I am stronger now because of you. I grow stronger and stronger everyday.
I love you and miss you more then anyone knows.

Love your sester

Yes, me again.

I don't want to cry anymore
I don't want to know that you died anymore
I don't want to wonder why anymore
And I don't want to be a bother anymore

I want to know how good it feels to smile
Without thinking it will only last a short while
I don't want to be a burden to those we love
I don't want to think about if there is no "up above"

I want to live my life from moment to moment
Living it, loving it, enjoying it, owning it.
I don't want to be waiting for the next card game
Only to be burned again by "goodbye's" bitter flames

I don't want to be holding onto the past
While life is going by so fast
I don't want to keep repeating my words
Especially when they just shouldn't be heard

I don't want to be stuck saying "if only"
Because that life would be pretty lonely.
I don't want you to be all that's on my mind
Because that might get me in a terrible bind.

I don't want to be wishing for the days to come
I want to get out there and have some fun!
So why am I here, still talking to you?
If it's not for love, I haven't a clue.

I am going to say something to you, that I wrote somewhere to you six months ago, because it is still so true:

"Life just isn't the same without you - nothing's the same without you. I don't know how to accept that you're not around the block anymore. I don't know how to believe that you are truly gone. You're in my mind, you're in my heart, you're in my life forever. I love you."

"So afraid to love you, more afraid to lose. Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose."


So during my walk through Hazel Park yesterday, I was trying to see what it was you fought for. I saw kids on the corner smoking. I heard cat calls and honking horns. I had one guy tell me I was trespassing when I walked on the sidewalk in front of his house (he was quite upset). I saw only two cop cars, which made me sad, because I always like Hazel Park: I always saw cops and it made me feel safe. I saw two very young kids riding bikes by themselves up and down 9 Mile. I saw broken glass covering some sidewalks... I saw a cat that cried your name. I saw the stares when people noticed your picture on my shirt. I saw the firestation and their tribute to you. I saw burning candles that led me to you. I saw little kids asking their mom why people were lighting candles. I saw a mom telling her kids to be quiet and show some respect. I saw the faces of those you gave your life for. I saw what you saw in your last moments. I saw it was not just a city. I saw there was more than broken glass and smoking kids. I saw why you fought, I saw it in their eyes, and began to think, they are you in disguise.

I should have gotten here a bit sooner jess. This will be my 3rd reflection on your page. I went to washington dc to the memorial...and as i traced you name on the wall, I cried. I will be there every year....so that I can thank you for your sacrifice once again....

Monday, July 28, 2003

The memorials are ending... and that's the hardest part, I think. At least for me it is. On these days, no one asks why you're crying. No one asks why you're having a bad day. No asks why you can't seem to catch your breath or why you have nothing to say. No one asks why you need a hug. No one asks why you need your space. No one asks you to smile and show that pretty face. No one questions how you feel. No one questions why you need to walk. No one questions your need to talk. All in all I think it's pretty clear, that these days calm my fears.

All the people that I've met, have inspired me more than words can say. They've put smiles on my face and hope in my heart. I hope all of you I've met along the way know you have touched my life, and heart, in ways I will never forget. No matter whether I've just met you, or not, I worry about you, and remind you to always be careful. My heart is filled with love for all of you and I hope these days were not the few and only days I will see you. Please, please, be safe and come home to all of us.

Jess,
I miss you so much. We all do. It's so strange to think that it's been a year since you were taken from us. It seems like just yesterday you were here, but it feels like I've been missing you forever. Yesterday was the hardest day I've had in a long time. And I don't know why. I just could not stop the tears. So I talked to you a little. I yelled at you a little. I cried with you a little. I must've been quite entertaining. I get so angry sometimes, Jess. And yesterday, for the first time, I got angry with you. Angry that you left us here. Here to cry, to yell, and to hurt. To hurt forever. And I just kept screaming toward the sky, "Why?" and "How?" How could you do this to us? Why would you leave us? How could you leave us? What did we do? Why can't we be with you? Take us with you! And it's stupid, it's so stupid to be mad at you. But I love you. And it hurts so much to be left behind. And you left us all behind. Left us with only memories... of you and Jill playing softball, and dancing on the bed to New Kids on the Block. Sleepovers and trips to the mall. Shoe shopping for HOURS. Watching movies and you two scaring us when you'd babysit. Shopping at Old Navy, you and Jill getting the same shirt, and eating at Mongolian Barbeque. Bowling on New Year's Eve, you and Jill looking like twins, and shopping for your wedding present... you cheater! I was told about you always checking at the stores to see what was already bought! You sneak! I shouldn't be mad at you... but you left your husband behind, your parents, your brother and sister, your best friend. I know you don't want them to hurt and so I know you didn't leave because you wanted to. And there is someone here that is so easy to blame because he IS to blame... but it doesn't bring you back and yelling at you doesn't do that either. But boy did I try yesterday! And then when someone was there and asked what was on my mind... I had not a single word to say. So I walked myself home and lied down on my bed, stared at the ceiling and didn't move one muscle all night. You know what my new thing is, Jess? I walk. Constantly. To nowhere and everywhere. I walk to think, I walk to clear my mind. I walk to get away. I walked to Hazel Park today. Walked to 985 E Jarvis Street... Lit a candle for you. Walked myself past the firestation, that so beautifully remembered you. I walked to the police station, to see, what I was told, was your home-away-from-home. Then I walked myself home. And began to write to you. And the words have yet to stop - I'm good at rambling. So perhaps I should take my leave, and wish you goodnight. I will not say goodbye, because someday, I too shall fly.
-Katie

Jessica,

I can't believe it's been a year! That's all I've been able to say these last few days. It seems like yesterday that I saw your smiling face, heard your laugh or your voice on the radio. I'll see "26" and expect to see you, then I remember of that tragic night one year ago!

You have touched many lives in your short time with us! Please continue to look over us keeping us safe and giving us the strength to carry on.

You will always be in my thought s and prayers. With much love and respect until we meet again Naggs!

Anonymous

I am pleased to read that your killer saw justice but still have heavy heart for your family and friends. God bless to those you left behind......God bless you.

Deputy M. Moore
Warren County S.O. (OH)

Jessica,

A year today, I can hardley believe it. Sometimes it seems like only yesterday you were taken from us but yet it feels like I have been missing you forever.
I wish I could see you again even for just a minute. There are so many things I want to tell you.
Missing you always, loving you forever.

Krissy

Jessica,

It is so hard to believe that is has been a year. I see your face and hear your voice. I still can’t comprehend that you are gone. I wonder how long it takes for the realization to set in and then I hope and pray that it never will.

You are always with me, giving me the strength to make it through each day.

I Love you and miss you so much.

Anonymous

Happy Birthday in Heaven.

Rest in peace knowing his fate has been decided just like he decided yours. He will never be free again. That's amazing. I would like to say justice has been served, but that's not fair to your family. The punishment is simply never enough for a crime like this.

I hope your brother and husband are able to serve knowing that you are in the cruiser right next to them, protecting them.

Rest in Peace.
Jessica

jessica

I'm happy to hear that Jessica's killer received his much deserved life sentence.

It won't bring Jessica back, but I pray that family and friends can carry on as best they can and know that justice has been served. My sister, Melissa, and Jessica are in heaven together looking over all of us. Even though it's hard at times....let's try to live our lives to the fullest. It's what Jessica (and Melissa) have always wanted, and still do.

Sending my love........

Chris Schmidt
brother of slain Minneapolis officer, Melissa Schmidt

I just read update on your profile.
SENTENCED TO LIFE it read!!! I read it over and over and over! SENTENCED TO LIFE! I could replace a word in there,we all know that word. But, we have been given justice for Jessica!
Tomorrow we celebrate her life, and we will focus on that .At work, I think of you Jess, you just pop into my head . I see your smile, and hear your voice. I sometimes lose my train of thought on the job, and I hear you saying , hey take ten! So I do! I let my mind wander with you, to good times we have shared.
Tomorrow , Jess,
We will all be "taking ten" and then some to celebrate you , and letting our minds wander with you, all the good memories we have shared.
I know you will love the ten plus we take with you ,
love you,
Jillsmama

Sometimes love just isn't enough. Sometimes pain is what we need to feel. Sometimes dreams can't come true. But I still love you.

Sometimes tears are all that heal. Sometimes words can't hit their mark. Sometimes hugs just aren't enough. But I still love you.

Sometimes the sun just won't shine. Sometimes you just can't sleep. Sometimes pictures hurt more than they should. But I still love you.

Sometimes reality's too much to bear. Sometimes denial's your best bet. Sometimes the truth is too much to face. But I still love you.

Sometimes laughter is the best cure. Sometimes we just have to face our fears. Sometimes we're told what we don't want to hear. But I still love you.

Sometimes the days seem too long. Sometimes I say more than I should. Sometimes I feel more than I think. But I still love you.

Sometimes I stay quiet because I can't speak the truth. Sometimes I laugh because I don't want to cry. Sometimes I just don't want to try. But I still love you.

Sometimes all I want is to hold you close. Sometimes I pretend you're still here. Sometimes I know you're not around the corner. But I still love you.

I will always love you.
-Katie

I learned about Officer Nagle-Wilson's death when I just read that her killer was convicted, and it makes me feel good to know that a person who gave so much is remembered so well. What a great smile she had. To her family & friends - what she did will always be remembered. Your reflections are very touching and I'm glad to have learned about her. Heroes live forever.

Pat
Baltimore, MD

Standing on the edge
Of everything
Trying not to slip
But I still fall.

Whispering empty words
Listening for your voice
Looking around the corner
For you.

Every warm breeze
Is a hug from you
Telling me
To do as I choose.

You're my strength
You're my weakness
You're my faith
You're my doubt

You're everything I'll never be
You're somewhere I'll never see
So close to us
Yet so far away
And I just cannot see
That this was your destiny.

Thinking of you always, loving you forever.
Katie

Jessica,
The verdict came back. I am glad but I don't feel better. I miss you so much. I think of you every day. There are so many things that I wish I could have told you. I love you always.

Uncle Bill, Aunt Debbie, Robbie, and Amanda,
You are so strong and wonderful. I am grateful to call you family. I wish I could have been with you through the trial. I hope the verdict can give you some peace. I love you.

Kristin

The verdict came in today. GUILTY.

I met Jessica a few times in the morning when her husband, Matt, and the rest of my crew would go for early morning choir practice at Fran's Roadhouse. I remember thinking how pretty she was and what a lucky man Matt was to have her. I wish I could have known her better then I did, but from spending the past year with Matt and the Nagle family I believe I've come to know her better.

Jessica you have a very beautiful family. They have been there for me when I need them this past year even though they are suffering themselves. I know personally how much they love you and miss you.

I hope todays verdict will give them some peace and help you rest.

I am thankful that I have the support of your family, but I wish it did not have to come from your death and Scott's.

I would have loved to have met your family while you were alive. Enjoying jet skiing and paintballing with you, Matt and Scott.

I know you and Scott are keeping each other company like you did at the bar when Matt and I started talking deeply with our crew. Please watch over us and help us along our road.

Until we meet again.
Monica
Fiancee of Scott Stewart DPD EOW 8-11-03

Monica
Detriot Police

To Jessica's husband and the rest of her family, just wanted you to know that you are on our hearts and in our prayers. I know this trial was hard on you, but I am thankful for the outcome. I know it does not take any of your pain away, but at least justice was served. I am sure having to relive this event during the trial was very hard, but please know, you wll be remebered in prayers everywhere!

Denise Nichols - surviving spouse
Alabama State Trooper Brian Nichols EOW 2/17/2002

I read that the verdict came in for Officer Nagle-Wilson's killer, and am pleased to know that a life sentence with no parole will be served. This killer's actions were cowardly and heartless, and I pray for the family, friends, and co-workers that are left to mourn the loss of a young and beautiful officer. My hope is that the conclusion of the trial will provide some measure of healing for all of you. God bless and keep you.

Daughter - Robert Varner (EOW 01/02/89)
Cheryl Varner