Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

We are fast approaching our second Christmas without you. The pain and heartache is so strong during this time. I just want the days to fly by and the season to end but then I remember how special Christmas has always been for our family. Starting with decorating the tree, each one of you kids hanging your ornaments on your side of the tree. Going to Midnight Mass at St. Marks with friends and neighbors. Christmas morning, sitting on the stairs waiting until 7:00 am before you come rushing downstairs to open your presents. Some of our traditions have changed these past years but others have stayed the same. I do know you will here with us this holiday season as you have been all along, watching over us, smiling down on us as we keep moving forward, one day at a time.

Love and miss you.

P.S. I go to this site everyday and read the new entries. Thank you to all for your thoughts and memories. She will not be forgotten and is forever the Angel on our shoulder, watching each of you as you go through your day, be it on patrol or doing our day-to-day activities. She lives on through each one of us.

December 19, 2003

Jess-

The Christmas shopping is almost done, and the snow looks perfect.

It's almost like a dream to believe that you are still not here on earth. With Christmas right around the corner, I have to think about the birth of Jesus, and how amazing it is to me that you are actually in heaven right now. It is almost overwhelming to think that you are with our savior. I can only imagine your first conversation with him. Did you tell him about Bulldog life? (I'm sure you did)


I think a lot about you and wonder why. I know it isn't my job to know the answers surrounding your death, and I know I shouldn't second guess the plan. I am only human, and I am very angry that you are gone. I kept up on the reports when the trial was going on, and just hoped that he would give some reasoning to killing you. I just wanted him to apolgize for you being gone.

It just doesn't seem fair. You should be out on the streets like the rest of us in this cold weather writing tickets, taking reports, and of course going to Domestics. I guess I really haven't come to terms with your death. I don't think I am ever really going to. You deserved to be hear, but since you can't be, I am glad you are there to watch me at all of my calls.

Everytime I put on my vest I think about you. Everytime I light them up I think about you. Everytime I pray you are in them. And everytime I have fear I think about you laying on the street afraid, and then on your way to Heaven. I just wish I could talk to you one more time face to face. I just want to hear you say "I got him, he's hit too." I know you acted as we trained. You were amazing that night.

I miss you, and can't wait to catch up someday- until then I am so glad to see everyone still writes to you here. It makes me feel as if you are living on.

Merry Christmas, and God Bless

Love you Jess

December 18, 2003

HI Jess,
I have a request for you, to put in to that man above.
can you mention that your sister /friend is coming home for Christmas, and she would love to see some snow,,,,,,,,,,,,
Now, just a sprinkle would be good,,,,,,,,,,, perhaps for a day of sledding? Then you can tell him to turn up the sun, so I dont have to shovel.......
I am picturing you on New Years eve, with the lemon in your mouth, smiling wide, with that mug , I am sure he will comply............
Happy Holidays Jess
love yaaaaaaaaaa

December 17, 2003

Jess-
Happy Holidays.

December 15, 2003

It's snowing here in Michigan. Of course that only means more accident reports, and colds for those of us who work outside. It's still so perfect out there. It must be so pretty to watch the snow from above. I bet the world looks so good.

I sure wish you were here Jess.

December 12, 2003

Happy Thanksgiving, Jess.

November 27, 2003

Happy Thanksgiving Jess-

I can only imagine what it is like where you are. Patrolling down here is still everything we could of imagined, only you should still be here. It is wierd to think that there are people in this world who would never even dare to become police officers, and then there's people who can't imagine anything else. That was us. Anyone in law enforcement knows that feeling.

I never thought it would have been you to lose your life. I only wish I would have known, just to tell you good-bye.

I miss you, but I am very thankful this thanksgiving that God chose you to patrol the streets of heaven.


Good-bye for now- Jess

Anonymous

November 27, 2003

Jessica,
I didn't know you as well as Iwould have liked to. But in the few months that I did, you really made a mark in my life. I had something tiny taken from me and i t feels good to know that he/she is sitting up in heaven with you right now.

May you keep watching over our loved ones on the force..
You will never be forgotten...

Anonymous

November 23, 2003

I haven't talked to you in quite some time. It's become too hard to live while holding onto you so fiercely. I will never forget you, I will never stop loving you, and I will never stop missing you. I have to live somehow. My distance is my somehow. Please forgive me.

"I saw you there
you were on your way
you held the rain
and for the first time
heaven seemed insane
cause heaven is to blame
for taking you away"

November 17, 2003

Hey Jess,

I was thinking of you today, just like yesterday, and I wanted to let you know.
You are a daily inspiration to me and to everyone that knew you.
As long as you are remembered you never really die. You will never be forgotten.
You gave so much joy and love in your life that just grows in the hearts of your family and friends. It grows and spreads to an ocean of people through them...forever.

Krissy

November 17, 2003

Jessica,

I wanted you to know that you are not forgotten, and you never will be. I know you watch over us when we need you.

I just wanted to say thank you for watching over me.

Anonymous

November 14, 2003

All of the sights and sounds of the holdiays are upon us once again. I just wish you were here to share it all with us. I remember how much you loved Christmas, the decorations, music, midnight mass, and of course- THE SHOPPING! I want you to know that I know how lucky I was to have such a good friend to share it all with- even if it was all cut too short. Some people never experience a friendship like the one we have, I'm very lucky. Early Holiday Greetings to everyone all around & God Bless.

Anonymous

November 14, 2003

I come to your reflection site often. I love to read all of the memories people have of you, and often wonder about what you would say about these kind thoughts. I wish the clock could unwind, and you would be alive again. I understand everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan for us all. I just can't except that God wanted you killed in this way.
People always say it gets easier, but I can't imagine how your death could be easy for anyone. Your family, your friends, your brothers in blue, and most of all the citizens of Hazel Park. To know such a senseless act happened on that street, in that town, and now your gone.

I recently visited Ferris for a football game, and I kept thinking about the fact that you will never be there again. I have to say, your presence was definately felt. It felt like the academy all over again.

Watch over us as we continue to patrol. I know some people don't believe in signs, but I truely feel as if I have a gaurdian angle in Heaven. You were amazing here, and I know you are even better there.

I have finally come to the realization that it is time for me to understand that there is no need to worry about you now, you are safe. I keep imagining that you are in pain, but you are free now. Good-bye for now.

Anonymous

November 12, 2003

To a fellow Bulldog and Officer,
God speed

Officer Joshua A Breese
Kalamazoo Dept. of Public Safety

November 8, 2003

During the summer of 2000, at Ferris State University, I was in the firearms class with Jessica, she actually helped me with my shooting with the shot gun. I just found out she passed away on my birthday. I never got the chance to tell Jessica what an inspiration she was during firearms, and I just wanted others to know that Jessica was a beautiful person with a heart of gold. I just recently got hired on a police department and heard about her death. Jessica you will always be remembered by me and I thank you for taking the time out and helping me. And God bless....

P.O. Jeffrey
Grayslake P.D.

November 5, 2003

You have left a legacy, and you will never be forgotten. You have taught so many lessons by your untimely death. Anything can happen at a routine call. You taught me that there are no routine calls, always be prepared for the worse.


I hope your family is doing well, and please watch over us as we patrol daily.

Thank you for the sacrafice.

Anonymous

October 28, 2003

I know its been over a year, but like everyone else I just can't seem to believe that you aren't more than a phone call away. So many things have happened that I want to share with you; that in a way I have- but not in the way it is supposed to be. Everyone says that time heals all wounds, but they are wrong in this case. Every day that passes, every change we go through is one without you. This just isn't right. We still miss you Jess, and we always will. I still can't believe that one stupid selfish act took away so many memories that we had left to make. Life is just not fair.

Anonymous

October 21, 2003

Jess,

theres no words to express how much i miss you.....the pain will never leave me. that night i lost my wife, best friend, and fellow officer all in a matter of seconds. now when i patrol the area we always met, it just isnt the same....i miss that smile and passion you always had jess.....now i have it in my dreams. I miss you and will always love you.....you are my hero.

love forever
your husband

October 18, 2003

Thank you for today,
It was bright and sunny and warm,

I know you had something to do with that,
the forcast called for dismal overcast,rain, and cold.

Today,
We planted a tree,
Jess not just any tree,
but a tree that represented you.

The common name of the tree
is a "RIVER BIRCH"
River birch, sounds so calming,
and restful.

It now resides, at your high school,
with a beautiful plaque
commemorating your life.

Jess,
I know that you were there,
I know you gave Kate the strength,
to say the words she felt so deep.

I know that you watched ,
as we tied the ribbons on the tree,
remembering you, believing you really didnt leave.

I know you touched the souls
of those that didnt know you ,
in inadvertant ways,

They told their stories today,
of how they now believe,
that there are angels among us,

and one of them is named Jess

And they believe,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

thank you for watching over us today,

And I believe,

October 13, 2003

Rest easy blue angel, you are not forgotten.

Anonymous

October 5, 2003

Something I wrote, a few days after July 28,2002
I hope you dont mind if I print it now,
It still hurts...........

I heard the 10 O'clock news
on July 28th
I wasnt really watching close
but something caught my ear.

"An officer down
in Hazel Park"
My whole attention
shifted to the screen.

I lost my breath
when they further informed,
the officer, was a female,
Surely it wasn't you!

I paced the floor,
and listened for more,
while my mind became quite numb.

Waiting for an update,
a reassurance , that you were alright,
I called your home
to hear your voice,
to know that you were safe.

Instead I got the answer machine,
so I said, hey call when you get home,
let me know it wasnt you!

Relief set in
when I heard the phone ,
not minutes after my call,
surely it was you

It must be you calling me back to say that you are safe at home

But it wasn't you
Panic set in
as I heard the crys
of my daughters anguished voice

MOM!!!!!!!!!!! They said Jessica was shot!!!!!!!!
MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They say that she is dead!!!!!!
MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wails of pain still haunt me now,
the helpless feeling inside,
to know that I can do not a thing,
about the day , my daughter's best friend died.

September 14, 2003

Everything I do, I do it for you.

September 13, 2003

It’s been over a year and the reality should have set in that you are no longer here. But to me, it hasn’t. To me, I see you everyday. I see your face, your smile. I hear your voice and your laughter. And then something happens that reminds me that you are gone. And the anger and despair hits and the tears start to flow.

I miss you more and more everyday.

Anonymous

September 13, 2003

It is so funny, how life seems to return to "normal",
when something comes up , that reminds one,
this is anything , but "normal"
"normal" is my daughter being able to call you, like she used to do all the time, and you calling her as well.
"normal" is knowing that you are a cheery surprise hello at my door
"normal" is planning the next excursion to hook up with your best friend.
"normal" is hearing your voice, seeing your smile.
This life,
has become
anything
but
"NORMAL"

We miss you sooooooooooooooo much!

Anonymous

September 5, 2003

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night
Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right
And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark
Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart
If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

August 31, 2003