Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Ca-ca,

Time does not stand still. And we have all "gone on with our lives." If for an instant you have doubted the love or loyalty of anyone, I ask you to look again. Hearts are still broken, Jess, but perhaps strength has been found. The cost can be high for having belief, for having faith, for having hope. Hopefully all that's ever needed is a break.

I think in puzzles and speak in poems, in fact I'm surprised that's not what this is. I live in dreams and will die in reality. And that's honesty. But through it all, I think of you. I think of when I was younger and how all I wanted was to grow up and be just like you and Jill. You were everything in my eyes.

I was told this year that I'm indifferent to death and that it doesn't affect me because I've seen too much of it. I'm certain others have seen more. Despite whether or not that's true for me though, I wonder if it's even possible to grow indifferent to it.

I'd like to be taught how to turn off emotions, how to turn as cold as ice. Because I don't understand how it's done. I don't believe I could ever stop feeling. I could want it, I could try for it, but true feelings never disappear. I've always said I'd rather be a fool for feelings and for love than a fool for anything else, like so many others are.

Hope does not disappear, but pessimism does come. And optimism is lost, but not forgotten. Do you think it's possible for the most optimistic person to also be the most pessimistic?

There are only a few more blind than I, Jess, but I hope you will help us all see. So much is lost, forgotten, or pushed aside. We all busy ourselves to escape what we don't like. But perhaps we also lose what we do like. What are we left with then?

Maybe every question to be asked only poses a new question.

The time is drawing nearer when everyone is "supposed" to be remembering you. No anniversary is needed - you are remembered each day of the year.

I walk across campus and wonder what it was like for you. I sit in these classrooms and go to the softball fields, and wonder if it was similar for you. It's strange to be where you were. I walk where you walked and see your picture in my room every day. I don't want to be you, Jess - I want to be me, inspired by you, taught by you, and, I hope, loved by you. I am a better person for having known you. And I thank you for guiding me to where I truly want to be.

Smile for us, Jess, as we will smile for you.

-Katie-

July 8, 2005

Jess,

Thinking of you and your family. 3yrs is approaching since you and Scott were taken from us. The time hasn't eased the pain. I still have flashbacks of those awful nights.

I pray you and Scott are having a great time with all the other officers up there. We'll all be with you both one day.

Big hugs to your family. I may not be able to call or visit as I would like (life keeps you busy), but I think of them everyday and pray for them everyday. They were there for me during some of my darkest days and I will never forget it!

Manda and Matt - Remember the bon fires and phase 10! :)

Bill and Debbie - thank you for listening.

Love you all,
Monica
Fiancee Scott Stewart EOW 8-11-02 Detroit

June 21, 2005

I thought as time continued on it would be easier, almost comforting knowing you were now "up there" watching over and looking out for everyone, but its almost harder as the reality continues to set in. As we go on through life I'm torn between all of the fun and happiness of the moment and the humongous want of your presence. We were supposed to have so many more adventures, and although family and other friends are here, the one I want most, who at times knew me the best, is gone. We were around friends this weekend, talking about the past and it dawned on me that for a majority of my stories... you were the only one who would appreciate them. I miss that so much. I miss that feeling of friendship and connection. Everything seems to have such a bittersweet tint to it, just trying to convince myself that you are having as much fun watching as you would right here with us. MIssing you.

May 28, 2005

Happy late birthday Officer Nagle-Wilson. To your family, I'm sorry to read this memorial page. I recently lost my brother, who was a deputy and was 26 also. I hate to see any officer loose their life in the line of duty; but it makes it alot harder for me to see the young officers on this site. May God bless you all and all law enforcement. Rest in peace!

Kevin Cannon

May 25, 2005

HAppy Birthday Jess!
I am a day late,thought of you lots yesterday! We have a new nephew who was born on your birthday!Seems to be a tradition around here of sharing birthdays and so on !
MIss you lots,
Kathy

May 24, 2005

Happy Birthday Nags!
I know it's a day late..I thought about you yesterday, well actually everyday. I remember when you told me you were a Gemini also. I thought Oh!Boy! Lt. look out! you've got two of us on mids... or rather four hehe. I wish I would have stayed on mids. I guess I have a lot of wishes, but you already know that.
I miss you.
Your spirit is strong and the memories I have and those that others have shared are plentiful. I am thankful for this. I raise my glass and make a toast to our birthdays, to your life and to your mom and dad for creating such beauty and goodness.

May God grant us
years to live
For sure He must be knowing
The earth has angels all too few
And heaven is overflowing.

Wiz
HPPD

May 24, 2005

Happy Birthday Jessica!

I remember the day you were born so well. Besides being our first child, you were the first grandchild, great grandchild, niece and great niece so everyone was anxiously waiting for you to be born. Of course you made us wait 12 hours before you decided it was time to make your entrance. Yesterday someone ask me how old you were and I said 26. I guess you will always be 26 to me even though today would have been your 29th birthday. We had a flower cake arrangement with candles at the cemetery so we could light the candles and sing. I think a few people may have had some liquid refreshments while they were there.

You came into this life on a Sunday evening and left us on a Sunday evening. No words could begin to express how much you are missed but I am thankful for the 26 years we had you with us.

Love and miss you,
Mom

May 23, 2005

Jess,
We just got back from DC! SO Happy I was able to go! Kelley, and my cousin Nancy, and Jill went also. Nancy and Kelley were overwelemed by it all, but were glad they were able to experience the memorial.We got to spend a little time with your mom,dad, and Amanda.It was great! I know you were right there with us!
Love you always.
Kathy(jillsmama)

May 16, 2005

We are in DC! We got in on Thursday. There are about 25 of us here to remember and honor you and all of the other officers that have lost their lives these past years. While it difficult at times, the support is wonderful. I can’t help but feel sorry for the first year survivors. I remember how hard it was for us. It just breaks my heart knowing what they are going through.

Manda and I got to ride in the Law Ride this year. It was such a sight to see. It was an exciting experience for both of us. We are going to the Bagpiper parade tonight and the Capital tomorrow. We each event we go to, you are with us.

Love and miss you,
Mom

May 14, 2005

Jessica, in a couple of days I will join the hundreds of police motors as we make our way to the memorial in Washington D.C. for National Police Week.
Know that your memory will be riding along.

Master Trooper
Virginia State Police

May 8, 2005

Jess,

Wanted to say that I miss you very much. Your birthday, mothers day, our anniversary, D.C., Its a hard month. But I know you are helping everyone through it. That was the way you were and still are. When I think about all of these dates ahead of us, all I have to do is close my eyes and there you are, with that big smile, and uniform on saying how the night was going and how much fun we were going to have up north with your family. I miss that, its something that will never leave my memory or heart. Love You, Always.

May 8, 2005

Jill heads out tomorrow for her new post in RI. She will stopping in Md,as that is where her ship is docked right now. I know that her layover here, was a bit sad, knowing you werent here. I think everytime she comes home is is a reminder,one that she cant avoid, that you are no longer here for her to visit with.When she is away ,she can pretend you are just busy , and cant call. Reality sets in when she is home.
Jess, watch over her on her trip to Md and RI. And talk to "the man" about her not having to do watch the weekend of the NPW in Dc! We will be there and want Jill to be there as well!
Love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Jillsmama

April 24, 2005

Jessica,

May is fast approaching and it will be so busy with the State and local memorial services, Mother’s Day, DC, yours and Matt’s anniversary and your birthday. What a month. DC is such a bittersweet time. I wouldn’t miss it for anything but at the same time, I hate the reason why we are going. I think we are very fortunate that so many people continue to go each year. Right before we leave for DC we get to sit in a courtroom again. We have the Oral Arguments for the Appeal. How fun is that. So many people ask why he gets to appeal and all I can say is, it’s his right. Gotta love our court system.

While I was writing this, I got to thinking that it has been more than 2 ½ years (almost 33 months) and every day I go out here and check your reflections. Sometimes there are new entries and I know the person who wrote it. Other times, I don’t know them and I wonder who they are, have I met them before, or wish I could meet them (who is Jess?). Sometimes there aren’t any new ones but bottom line is, I never stop looking. I’m not sure why I do it or when it will stop. Maybe never but then again, I think that’s ok. It just means that you are loved, missed and remembered.

Love,
Mom

April 20, 2005

Jess,
we will be in DC in May.

April 14, 2005

Well Jess you came through again. Just as expected!

bill nagle
family

April 4, 2005

How do you say goodbye to your best friend,
how do you say , this is the end?
When we have so much more to share,
when you are needed now, and show you care.
HOw do you say goodbye?
HOw do you let go,
to someone who meant the most to you
How do you let it go?
How do you go on,
basically pretend it never was?
Okay , you cant
So , how do you go on?
HOW???????????????????????????
When all that is wanted,
is a word from you ,
all that is wanted, is a call from you
when all that is wanted,
is you ,
How does one accept, that will never be?
How does one move on?
Please tell me.
How do you replace,
your best friend?

April 4, 2005

Jess,

I still think about you everyday and the day I heard the news always seems like it happened yesterday. I still think about the nights that we spent walking the campus as foot patrol officers back in college.... Fun times.. You are still very much a presence in my life and to all of us that wear the uniform everyday. Keep watching over us. See you in DC.

Your fellow classmate and friend,

Marc

Trooper #430
Michigan State Police

April 1, 2005

Happy Easter Jessica!

We had our family annual Easter egg hunt. Kerrie found all her eggs first (ok so she had a little help). Dad had to do hot and cold with everyone else. After that, everyone else came for breakfast. You were with us on this special day as you are every day.

Love and miss you,
Mom

March 28, 2005

Just want you to know I am thinking of you. We are planning our trip to DC this year. Cant wait to go!Miss you very much

March 20, 2005

With all that's wonderful happening in our lives these days, I know that there's one integral part that's missing- you. I know you would be in the middle of it all, helping plan everything. Just want to let you know that I miss my friend more and more each day. BFF

March 18, 2005

Jessica,

You need to give me strength and patience to make it through each day. And add a little bit of sense of humor too! Some days it is so hard but I’m trying.

March 8, 2005

Hi Jess,

Just thinking of you and missing you.

KMD

March 8, 2005

I miss you so much Jess--
I needed to write a few lines telling you that I am thinking of you and wishing you were here for me to talk to through all the next exciting steps that I am taking in my life.
I will always miss you and the weekend catch up conversations we would have.
I love you Jess and I will talk to you again soon!
BFF

February 24, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day!

February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day Jess
Thinking of you a lot these days. My cousin went to Stoney Creek last week to be at some sites she used to go to with her mother and her son. She was thinking of the great times they shared when she spotted a woman with a golden retriever pup running toward her. The pup was about 10 months old, and stopped on command just before reaching my cousin. The owner said "Stop, Jessica"! She then introduced herself, (the pup did) to my cousin with kisses and paws. Her day was complete! She had the spirit of her mom in the hills, the spirit of her son in the trails, and the spirit of you in the pup! She said it was a very moving day for her!
Miss you,

February 13, 2005