Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Four years ago...you and Matt...married. It was a truly amazing night, a time that Ken and I cherish in our hearts. Like Ken said in his speech, you became a part of our family and we love you! We had such a great time with you and your families! Just like your wedding song said "I Could Not Ask For More" than this time together. That time, that night, as all the times were spent together were wonderful, fun, exciting!!

Josealyn is getting so big, she's almost 7. You would be so proud of her. Shortly after you left us, I explained to Josey, at the time only 3, that you were patrolling the streets of heaven now and making sure everyone was safe. Well, I was working in Ionia and we drove by the prisons every day. One day when she was 4, she asked me what the buildings were and I explained its a place where people that did bad things go. She said, just like the bad man that hurt Aunt Jessica and I said yes. Ever since then, everytime we drive by she says that she sees an angel standing in the tower keeping the bad guys in and that it's Aunt Jessica! It's so amazing the impact you had on our daughter, even though she was only 3. There's is a picture in Josey's scrapbook of you and Matt on the beach at Higgins Lake and she still remembers you and says she misses you. As we all do!!!

Kenny, now 2 1/2, oh I wish you could have met him! He's a little live wire and looks so much like Josey, you would be amazed. He's so sweet!

Well, it's taken me years to write to you. I have read the postings to the sight for a long time. It helps to read how your family is doing. It helps to read all the wonderful things people say. I pray for your family and Matt every chance I get. We miss you so much and think of you often! You are a HERO and we are blessed that you are a part of our lives. We love you!

Ken, Shannon, Josealyn & Kenny Pontius
Forever Friend

May 18, 2006

Please look after Jill. You will always be her best friend.

April 29, 2006

It is coming to close to Police Week in DC.Im so sad that I wont be able to make it this year.It is such a special time, and it always feels that you are there with everyone else.Love you and miss you Jess and Im keeping you in my thoughts and heart always.

Jillsmama

April 27, 2006

Happy Easter! I planted pansies on Friday at the cemetery. They are called “True Blue”, which I thought was appropriate and you would like them. I just hope they last till June. You know I don't have much of a green thumb but I keep trying.

You were missed this Easter Sunday, as you are each and every day.

Love,
Mom

April 17, 2006

How tragic. Such a young, beautiful, brave woman. My thoughts are with you and yours. Love, a fellow sister in blue.

Trooper
Colorado State Patrol

April 7, 2006

So here I am at work again and here you come popping into my mind.. Okay so the photos on my desk of our "pizza trip" and listening to my mp3 player full of memory songs probably encourage it, but it's nice to have those little pieces of something here where things can get so crazy. I still remember you calling and getting pulled over while you were on the phone with me, or planning a night out. I know we all are going through the same feelings of missing you, different levels at different times, but still the same. The one thing I can get out of it all is that I was truly blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life- even if it was for too short of a time. Somedays when the urge to call you gets too much I just pull out the old pics or put on one of our movies and let it all soak in- but other times I get so grateful for all of our fun and all of your little reminders that I KNOW you send out. Well I better get back, but before that I'll post another song. This one seems to help me out more than most. Maybe it'll help others. How many times did we watch this movie?? Must've been hundreds or so it seems- I even remember we went to the show when it came out. Miss you so very much!

Count on me through thick and thin
A friendship that will never end
When you are weak, I will be strong
Helping you to carry on
Call on me, I will be there, don't be afraid
Please believe me when I say, count on
I can see that it's hurting you, I can feel your pain
It's hard to see the sunshine, through the rain, oh
In know sometimes it seems as if, it's never gonna end
But you'll get through it
Just don't give in cause you can

You can count on me
I know sometimes it seems as if, we're standing all alone
Be we'll get through it, 'cause love won't let us fall

There's a place inside of all of us
Where our faith in love begins
You should reach to find the truth in love
The answers there within, oh
I know that life can make you feel
It's much harder than it really is
But we'll get through it, just don't give in

March 21, 2006

Officer Wilson I just wanted to say thank you for your service the world is alittle bit better today because of you. I am from Hazel Park and have heard a lot of stories about you and how you treated people. Everyone speaks so fondly of you, you should be proud. You desreved so much better in this world but i believe, no i know that you are in a better place today and i am sure you have a spot at the head table

Donald Colpaert
cousin of officer Mark Sawyers eow 6-5-4

March 15, 2006

She is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that
she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow
and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow
because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
or you can do what she'd want: smile,
open your eyes, love and go on.

By Anonymous

February 16, 2006

You are so beautiful and your smile just lights everything up. When i see your picture around campus it makes me smile because it you look so happy. I admire you and look up to you. We all miss you even those of us who weren't futuniate enough to get to meet you. You have touched hearts.

Ferris State University Student

February 13, 2006

May God Bless you and your family. Your not forgotten, nor will you ever be.

Student at FSU
Michigan

February 6, 2006

Its so strange how life does go on, yet somethings never change. How many years must pass before I stop getting the urge to give you a call and "check in?" Or when that feeling of someone missing disappears when we are out with our friends? So many things are going on- but fear not, you never have to worry about being forgotten. Out of all the friends I have made throughout my life, you will always reign at the top of my list and reading through all of the reflections here- many more. Hopefully we can all regroup one day and have our own- "Remember when" party. Thanks for watching out for me, and please keep it up- you know I can always use the help!

February 2, 2006

Jess,

You are so... present on this campus. It's pretty impossible for you not to come into my mind, as I know you were here... But traces of you are becoming more and more visible. My friends and I took a detour on our way back from dinner to see how they changed the Southwest Commons... As soon as we walked through the doors, guess what we saw? A picture of you, of course! Just as last time I ran into a picture of you on campus, I was caught off guard. As one of my friends asked for your "story," I think they began to see and understand the sacrifices that have been made by many officers. But more than this, I think they could now see that every officer is not just a badge number, name, or some statistic or news item... This is why when people ask me about you, I love telling them about the person I knew you as, the person we grew up with - I wish everyone were so lucky to have a taste of what it was like to know you, but since they can't, I want them to see that you were special, that you were human, and that you were more than "some cop," just as every officer is.

I think of you, and Jill comes to mind. But hey, it's not very abnormal for you and Jill to be connected like that. I don't know what there is for me to say, as a million words rush to mind. It seems silly to say that I wish she still had you here, as all of us wish you were still here. I guess I'll just ask that you stay by her side, she loves you so.

For quite some time I became fairly conscientious about my decisions/actions here... I never wanted to just simply be following your path. When I look back at the road I take, I want to be able to say that it was my choice every step of the way and I was not borrowing a dream or fulfilling expectations. I feel like I'm at a place now where I have assured myself that I am not doing that. I didn't join LAE when I came here because I wanted to be sure it was something I wanted and not just something expected because you did it or something I did just because my friends in the program did. And I wanted to discover my own reasons for each thing I was going to do... I feel now that anything that I choose to do for the rest of my time here is fully because I want to do it and because I have my own reasons to do it. Whatever that means, whether it means I get involved in anything or nothing else, I know now that it's because I chose it and because I have reasons why or why not.

I have so many questions... so many things I wish I could ask you about and learn from your experiences and be able to have an informed opinion helping me. And really, to have someone who I could ask stupid questions and not feel like a complete idiot. But when times do come when I could ask someone these questions, I'm at a loss for what it is I wanted to know. And some things just seem silly to ask.

Wow, I guess I had a lot more to say than I realized. Or maybe I just wanted to eat up some of my study time... Time to go to the gym.

You will never be forgotten, Jess - not by a single one of us.

Love,
Katie

February 1, 2006

Happy Birthday to Matt. Well, belated by four hours, I guess, but I haven't gone to bed yet so it still counts...

January 29, 2006

So yesterday morning I was feeling sorry for myself and then in the afternoon, we get the news. A new baby! How exciting is that. We have been waiting. Of course, you know what Dad wants and I don’t care, as long as it’s healthy. So yes, life does goes on.

Love,
Mom

January 21, 2006

I hate this way of living (if that’s what you want to call it). Everyone’s life moves on as if nothing has changed. I’m not saying that they don’t miss you because they loved you too but I don’t know if it is the same thing that we have been going through. It’s hard enough losing you but then everything else that happened afterwards. We just seem to be going through this continuous downhill spiral, waiting for the next thing to happen. I worry about something happening to Rob, Manda and Dad. You know me, worry, worry, worry. I know that they say God doesn’t give you anything more than what you can handle. Well let me tell you, he is pushing it a little too much. People tell me I should be writing everything in a journal because I could write a book.

Oh and that idiot that caused all this is sitting in prison in security level II. What’s that about? How did he get moved from IV to II. Good behavior? He’s a cop killer! I thought prison was supposed to be hard and tough and he wouldn’t survive that long there. He has made it way too long if you ask me. I know I should quit going to the site to find out where he is at and if he is dead yet but I can’t stop myself from checking.

Ok, now that I have gotten my depression and anger out, I will tell you of the good things. The girls! What a joy they are. I love it when Sydney gets on the phone and says “Hi Grandma”. She loves going to Grandma Pat’s house on Sundays. Payton is just a trip. Grandma Pat put her shoes on the wrong feet and there goes Payton, “Dah Grandma”. She loves to color picture and then she hangs them on the frig for us. She got on the phone the other day and said to tell Papa Happy Birthday! His birthday was in November but she didn’t care. And at Christmas time, she told us that she seen you lying on the couch and she covered you up with a blanket. I am guessing you came to pay her a little visit. And then there is Katelyn. She will be making her First Communion this year. Can you believe it? Such a sensitive child she is when it comes to you. She remembers you and misses you more than anyone really knows.

I guess I feel a little better. I sure do miss you.

Love,
Mom

January 20, 2006

Jessica-

I miss you. I can't believe it's been so long since we were at Ferris. Go Bulldogs...lol

It's wierd responding to the calls that most officers in my department consider routine make me more anxious than the dangerous ones. The other night I was sent to a dog off the leash call. It was one of those things that was somewhat surreal. For the first time since your death I found myself truly unale to move. I was stuck. I panicked and I think that it was one of those situations that you were there telling me to be careful. We ended up finding the owner and his meth manufacturing site, and his 3 children walking around in his house with these toxic chemicals cooking and I know that you were there. The arrest could have gone very bad if we weren't on our guard. You showed me that these calls could be the worse; they could be the end of my life. I don't know if I will ever go on the road again and not think about dying. It's so possible for all of us, but we never talk about it. I tell all of my partners about your death and I just want them to know that anything is possible. You were so young and so beautiful and you had so much to offer in the law enforcement world. It just never seems fair that you're not here.

I guess I just wanted you to know that I think about you. I know you can see me saying a prayer everytime I put my vest on. I still have your picture in my hat and look at it everytime I put it on. It reminds me to be safe and I guess maybe that is your way of protecting me from above.

I can't wait to see you Jess. It will be so great to hear your voice again.

love- jess

January 9, 2006

Dear Jessica I come to this site often. People say such wonderful things about you and now I really feel like I know you. I do know your sister Amanda. She was in Girl Scouts with my daughter Nikki. I did meet you one time. My daughter Ashley is in Law Inforcement classes now to become a Sterling Heights Police Officer. Your mom knows my sister inlaw Linda Collie. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I think about you and your family often. Rest in Peace Officer Wilson. Happy New Year. Linda Edgemon

December 30, 2005

Dear Jessica,
Today I finally decided to write to you. I've read this page often over the years. I've read how widely and deeply your life & death has affected those who know & love you and even to those who have never known you. I fall pretty close to that latter category. I did not know you very well in life but I have come to know you very well in death. I only met you twice. Once at Matt's award ceremony at the Rooster Tail and another time at your wedding. I consider myself fortunate to have had those 2 important moments. I remember being impressed that your mother and father and Matt's mom and dad we're all there at Matt's award ceremony to celebrate his heroism. The closeness between each of you was very evident and genuine. And your wedding! Your wedding was something else--beyond beautiful--beyond words. Vic & I were both honored that we got to be a part of that day with you and your family. We saved that bottle of wine with your specialized logo hoping to have you two over for dinner some night soon to enjoy it. My life sometimes feels frozen in that moment of time when Vic got that phone call telling us you were dead. From that moment forward, my life has walked slowly but surely with the impact and after-shock of your terrible death. I have seen the hell it has put everyone through and I have seen the good it has brought as people try to honor your legacy. We often wonder about the totality of our lives like in the movie a "Christmas Carol"...And Well, Jessica, I wish you had had that chance to see what I have seen or better yet what your family & friends have seen over the years. And I wish even more that you would still be alive at the end of this movie because gladly we would all trade today for a different tomorrow that included you. If I could have one opportunity to speak with you now, Jessica, I would take that opportunity to tell you this: You were an amazing woman and a damn good police officer. You have an incredibly loving and generous family. And you have friends that will always be loyal and will always remember you. And you have people like me, who are so struck by the tragedy of your death, that we dedicate our waking lives to making this world a little better, a little safer for those of us still here trying to survive amongst all the chaos of this world today. I tell your story every chance I get. I live in that house where you died on the front lawn because your family made it something beautiful for you. I consider it one more way to honor your legacy. You gave your life protecting the people (and animals) of Hazel Park and every day I try to do the same in my own way. Shortly after moving in to that house, a scrappy little kitten started hanging around looking for some food and attention. I already have 3 cats and I was not looking to become the local cat lady but how could I resist this adorable kitten that was just way too friendly for her own good to be out on the streets? So now I have 4 cats and little “Trout” is as happy as happy can be. That’s 1 less cat taken to the shelter.
Ok, so I guess I’m gonna wrap this up now and leave you with this thought: As this new year approaches, I hope somewhere, somehow, your spirit will continue to bring out the best in people and that your family continue to be graced more by your love versus their own sorrow. In peace, Sarah

Sarah B. Mason

December 29, 2005

Merry Christmas!

I know this is a little late but you were with us the whole time, as always. I think you must have been paying Rob and Kerrie some visits during the holidays, which I think was pretty funny. And every time the front door at Grandma’s opened up, we just started saying “come on in Jessica”. I have to be honest though, I am glad Christmas is over and I am back at work. The days were hectic and long. I have found out that this time of year is never going to be easy. So many memories come flooding back. We tried to keep as many of our family traditions the same but as we know, nothing stays the same.

Love you and Miss you,
Mom

December 27, 2005

Time goes on
and the pain, yes, seems to ease
But missing you never seems to cease.
Events come up , birthdays , and weddings, births and holidays
all bring you back to the center of our eyes
saying to ourselves, you should be here
then begin once again all the questions
all the whys?

Not a day goes by,
that you are not thought of
not a moment passes
that there is not someone
who feels the loss of you and love

The pages keep turning
as we try in vain to keep you alive
and when we realize,once again
that you have died
tears fill our eyes

Your spirit is what we all cling to
your smile your happiness,
your zest for life
and seems like forever
there will always be the whys

SO I suppose until we all meet again,
the pages on this web site will keep turning
again and again
as we keep you alive, thru our memories of you

Loving you , and missing you
Merry Christmas Jess
To you

December 21, 2005

Merry Christmas Jess, Well it'll be a bit lonely this year, but I know we'll all be thinking of eachother so in that way we will all be together. Plus we're all turning 30 this year so hopefully we'll all be able to make it to Vegas to make up for missing the holiday! They are constantly playing this Tim Mcgraw song on the radio (fitting don't you think!), it so makes me think of you and all of that craziness we shared back in the day- I clearly remember our "No Regrets" conversations and how when we wanted something, we really went for it. Remember how our craving for Chicago style pizza led us to... well Chicago! Looking back I truly have no regrets on those times, not too many people have friends like we had/have. Even though we may not see each other or talk for a few weeks, I really feel when it comes down to it I was truly blessed with great friends. You know how much I think of you and wonder about the "What ifs" and "What woulds" so just know that everytime I hear this song, its you I think of, with the only difference as being I refuse to say goodbye- its not permanent!

My old friend, I recall
The times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me
Their woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend, I apologize
For the years that have passed
Since the last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the running and the races
The people and the places
There's always somewhere else I had to be
Time gets slim, my old friend

Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why

My old friend, this song's for you
Cause a few a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend

Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye

My old friend, my old friend
Goodbye, goodbye

December 21, 2005

Hey KaKa-
It has been too long and I can't say that you have not been in my thoughts but it is just too hard to say things that I want to say to you with you here.
It is that time of year and I can't help but remember how we would watch "White Christmas" with our bowl of ranch dressing and croutons and then sleep in the front room because the christmas tree lights were just so beautiful.
It really does not seem to get any easier but I am lucky that you brought the much needed friendship of BFF back together. We needed each other, losing has been very hard for all of us.
There will never be a group of friends like we four. We miss you so much Jess.
I can't help but wish you were here to talk to and wish you were to grow together like we had planned.
Speaking of growing old-- the big 30 is coming up but of course I will always be 21 and younger than all three of you. It is going to be a great Vegas Party and I know you will be there and be our lucky lady.

Jess thank you for being here with me.
I miss you terribly.
Love always
BFF

December 4, 2005

Happy Turkey Day!

November 24, 2005

A friend of mine was recently murdered, upon hearing this song it brought tears to my eyes. Although I nenver knew Jessica her death affected me in many ways. I will never forget Jessica and her bravery and courage. I think this song fits well.



Who You'd Be Today
By Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you'd name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know
I'll see you again someday
Someday, someday.

November 23, 2005

Jessica,

Well you know it was the “big” one for me today. I guess when you reach this age, it makes you look back and reflect on your life. While life has never been easy (and even now, it’s not any better), one thing I have to say is, your Dad and I were very lucky to raise 3 wonderful children like you, Rob and Amanda. I guess I would have to say that has been my best accomplishments, my children. I just couldn’t be any prouder. On Saturday, they gave me a surprise party. I didn’t know they were having it so they did a good job of keeping it a secret but my instincts told me something was up. They had it at Manda and Stephen’s house. She was nervous about everything but she did a great job. I wish you could have been here to spend the day with us.

Today Oakland County unveiled the Michigan Fallen Heroes Memorial. Dad said it was my birthday present. They could have done any other day but waited until today just for me (yea, right). It is so nice to have a little something like DC but close to home so I can go there whenever the mood hits me. We were there for the unveiling of Phase I back in September of 2002 and have been waiting anxiously for Phase II that has the names engraved. Not that anyone wants their child’s name listed on a Memorial Wall but if something happens, it’s nice to know that they will never be forgotten because they are forever engraved in a special place.

Thursday is Thanksgiving and then up to the cottage we go. On Saturday, we will be going to the Blue Light Ceremony in Bad Axe, the parade and maybe a little bit of shopping at Wal-Mart. Do you remember when we went shopping with Aunt Nancy and Aunt Alice? We bought so much stuff we couldn’t get it her car to bring it home. We had to unpack everything and stick it in every corners of the car. We couldn’t even move in the back seat. I haven’t had a good shopping day like that in a long time.

I guess I am rambling so I better end this before it turns into a novel.

Love and miss you,
Mom

November 21, 2005