Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I miss you, Billy. I pray that God will bless your mama. Mama's shouldn't have to bury their children. My heart aches for her, too.

Prissy -
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can only imagine how hard it has been and remains to be. If there were any words that I could say to take away the pain and the hurt, I would gladly. I have realized that life can be taken away in an instant and we have to cherish every moment we have. Be grateful that you and Billy we so deeply in love and happy. Be happy and thankful that you shared those moments that have turned to memories. They made you who you are now, a strong woman, wife, and mother. I can't tell you that it gets better, I can't tell you that it will be ok - I don't think anyone can, because we aren't in your shoes. But, know that we really want that for you - we all want you to be happy again. No one wants to see you continually suffering. People deal with pain differently, that's no secret. You and Billy had such a wonderful kind of love, and not many people find that kind of love in a lifetime. You have a special angel watching over you. I guess all I am trying to say is that I am so sorry, I am sorry that you have to learn how to go on without the man you love. I am so sorry that you have to bring Kaley up without her daddy. I am so sorry that you have to deal with something like this at such a young age. God has a plan for us all. We never understand it, but maybe we can take a little comfort in knowing that he only takes us when we have fullfilled our destiny. Look at everything Billy did with his life. He touched all these peoples hearts, he gave you a beautiful baby girl, he made you happy. He saved people. And you....you completed him. He was who he was because of you. So whenever you see a falling star, that's Billy. Whenever you see the RAYS shine down from the sky, that's Billy. Whenever you see a rainbow, that's Billy. He's everywhere. And he's there with you and Kaley most of all. You will find someone, and you will be lucky to have loved not once, but twice in life. Billy will bring you someone special. I know that me saying that it will be ok, time will heal the pain - means nothing in comparison to what your heart feels. All I can do is TRY to give words of encouragement and pray for you. But it will get better. Hold your head up - he's there.

You will forever be in my thoughts.

Anonymous

Hey baby... I going to Noblesville this weekend to see Phil walk the stage. Last time I (we) was in that school was to see Chelle. It will be strange to be there without you beside me in person. I know that you will be there to see your little brother. You were so proud of him and he made it. He has been through the hardest time in his life and he made it. He is a very special young man. He will never understand or know how much you thought of him and cared about him. I think that he will be just fine in the road that he will start to travel down. Just give myself and the rest of the family strenght to get through whatever might come our way.

All my love and mind
Prissy

Billy,
It's been a long time since I last wrote. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of the what if's. What if I lose my husband today? What if I was too angry to tell him that I love him? What if I didn't get the chance to hold him one more time? Then I think how selfish I sound, because I do still have my husband, and, although I should live everyday like it could be my last, I still can't get it out of my mind. My father always said, "It takes a special woman to marry a man in law enforcement," and he's right. I never really knew how hard until I married my husband. There is not a day that goes by that I don't shed a few tears out of fear. I am in awe of everything you have done and the hearts you have touched, and I just hope that my husband leaves the same memories behind when the Lord calls on him. Although, I am proud of him and I always will be. He's my hero. He doesn't talk alot about that day. I guess I am partly to blame for that. It was hard on me too. Like I said, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about being in Prissy's shoes. And that's not how I want to remember someone (how they died). I want to remember the good things, the heroic things, the funny things. I told my husband that. I told him one day that maybe it was time for him to move on, and try to remember the good times you two had. I just hope that's what he has done. I certainly don't want him to fight with the thought of that day on his own. Try to find a little time to let him know that you are in a better place and that you are with him always. He really really cared about you and he misses you so much. I can't take his pain away, I have tried everything, but I know he still hurts. To this day, the sound of bagpipes tears him apart. Don't get me wrong, he still talks about you, but now, he talks about the crazy things you two did, the ocnversations you all had. And he smiles. That's what I want. Him to smile again. People on the outside looking in don't realize the strength all your coworkers and family and friends have shown. But we all still deal with it in some small way everyday of our lives. Isn't that how it is though? When you lose someone, they are never completely "gone." There's always something to remind you of them. I want more understanding though. For myself, that is. I want to understand it all too. I pray to God that one day I will.

You are always in our hearts Billy. Always.

Anonymous

Hey baby
I know I keep saying the same things over and over..... but you would really think that I would be getting some kind of grip on my life. And I guess in certain ways I am, but in so many I can't. I just want to have some kind of a "normal" life again. Just send me someone that I can depend on and share my life with, someone that is going to be right for me and Kaley. Someone......... Someone to make me feel alive again. I just want to be loved and to love again. I know that you will always be my true love and will always be a huge part in my life. But Billy I need someone to make me feel whole again. I am so scared that I will never find that. I do feel in my heart that when it is time that you will put someone in our lives that will be everything that I want in a person. My love for you is still as strong if not stronger then when we got married......started our dreams......and had Kaley...... But so many of our dreams were destroyed the day someone took OUR LIVES in their hands. I have to find it within myself to stop letting your killer take anymore from our family.. As hard as I try to do that I'm letting him. Just help me get the strenght to STOP....

Prissy

Billy, You will never know how much you are missed. GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY.

T. Dries

Billy
It is law enforcement memorial week. We had a service today to remember the ones who sacraficed all. We miss you Billy and you will never be forgotten

JCEMS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BILLY! You live on in our hearts, my friend.

May 13, 2003

Dear Billy,

You're in our thoughts EVERY day, but moreso today. How vividly we remember every detail of your wedding and reception on this date just three short years ago. And you've been gone from us for 18 months today. It's all still unimaginable and absolutely heartbreaking. We surely do miss you. We'll never forget, Billy; never. See you soon.

Our love,

Susan & Louis Prater
Friends

Hey baby
Just finishing up with the packing to go to DC. Trying to get things that Kaley can play with on the plane. More then anything I wanted to say happy ann. We would have been married 3yrs today. We would have a blast honey.

Prissy

Billy,

I come to this place everyday. Mostly I just read the posts. I have never been much on public things anyway. I think about Chuck and you everyday. I was talking to some Fayette Deputies the other day and we spoke of how all that has happened changed that way things are done.
I think what really hits me is the way I remember you. Its kind of funny to remember the way things used to be. I would hear you on the radio, fuss at you for long radio transmissions and then laugh at the call disposition. I always though you missed your calling as a radio personality.
I mostly remember how you carried yourself, your open feelings for Prissy and Kaley. I miss talking with you about our daughters. There is a special place for a cop's kid in the hearts and souls of other cops. I took my daughter to your grave. I tried to explain who you were. She remembers even being only three she knows. She talked about Kaley for days after that.
I wanted to go to Kaley's birthday, all of us were under the weather. I'm sure she had a good time. I know she is making you proud. I will check on them soon. I have been so busy lately. Sometimes I miss the road, CID can be so demanding.
I will check back soon, even though its not in print you are not forgotten.

Bourne

Happy birthday, Billy

Happy Birthday Billy. The four of us should be headed out tonight. You know we would have. Instead, I gave David a framed print of 'We Never Walk Alone' for his birthday, two weeks ago.

We think about you every day, Billy and miss you very much.

Officer Tracy R. Day
FCPS Dept. of Law Enforcement

May 3, 2003

Billy,
I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday.... It would have been your big "30". I can just imagine the fun we could of had on this day and wow what a party. It is going to be a hard day for Prissy and your family. I know that you will be looking down on all of us and you will give us the strength to continue to have fun and to celebrate the day as you would. In just 2 more days Kaley Bug will be two and she has so many of your traits it is scary. She has your ability to make us all laugh it like she knows just what to do and when to do it. Kaley is not scared of anything, she will climb and jump and just do about anything that would give us all heart attacks. Well Billy I guess I will go for now, but please help Prissy and your family through this day and make us all smile. We love you and miss you very much. Happy Birthday my friend. P.S. Thanks for keeping an eye out on Keith his test results came back clear again... Love Debbie & Keith

Debbie Stevens

Hey baby
It's May 3rd, Derby Day........You would have been 30 years old today. Old man....me being ONLY 26. haha. I will never be able to tell you happy birthday again and see that grim come across your face and with you hands out ready for your gift. Phils was yesterday, he is growing up to be such a wounderful young man, just trying to find his way. He will get there just help guide him. I have most everything for Kaley's birthday party on Sunday. Rolie Polie Olie is the big theme.... She goes to bed talking about him and wakes up talking about him. I didn't invite as many people as I did last year, figure if we haven't heard from them in a year they don't need to be here for her special day. Billy give me strenght to get throught this month. We leave for Washington, DC on the 13th, our 3 year ann. I love you and miss you more everyday that passes without you.

Prissy

Billy,
It's May. Law Enforcement Officers will be remembered around the nation. You will never be forgotten. I have many wonderful memories of you. I remember being in Dr. Sweeney's office laughing about two gimp officers. You with your busted leg, me with my busted knee. So many memories. Watch over all of us. I love you and miss you brother.

Anonymous

Hey sweetie,

I know that I don't leave a message often, but you know that I think of you daily. Prissy and Kaley (and even Marcy) came to visit us in Noblesville!!

Kaley is so much fun, she still reminds me of you at that age- so full of energy and questions everything. John taught her to make screaming noises when she eats the animal crackers and goldfish as she bites their heads. Do you remember him doing that with Chris, Michelle and Phillip?

Everytime she does something new I realize more and more what you are missing. She even used the potty for me last weekend. She is getting so big. I don't want her to grow up so fast.

Billy you were so worried about me not picking a name for Kaley to call me, when she was born. I told you she would call me what ever and I would love it. Well, I have become Kaley's Gigi. Not Grandma, Gigi. And you know what I LOVE it!! I only wish you were here to hear her say it.

With the latest officer that was killed in LaGrange KY, I realize how far we have all come since Nov 13, 2001. Pris and I have talked and both of us are shocked at how numb we were and how we were just going through the motions without our being able to remember much about that week.

Pris is going to meet with the officers' wife today. You have to know how VERY proud we are of her. Here she is trying to find her way, and she is ready to go and help with the latest tragedy.

With this being Easter, I find comfort in knowing that you are in Heaven and I know that you will be there to meet me when my time comes. I just wish it had been the other way around.

I Love and Miss You Billy.

Mom

Hey baby
Just wanted to say hello. It's been a while. Starting to get thing ready for littlebits birthday. 2, can you beleive that. It's hard for me to. We are having a Rolly Polly birthday. That's all she talks about. May will be here in no time. Just wish I could skip that month. Your birthday is on Derby this year, that means 7 yrs since we started dating. We are going to have Kaley's birthday party on that Sunday.
Life in general still sucks for me, still trying to find my way and think sometimes that I have it, but I don't. Some of the girls and I are going away for the weekend. Hoping that this is what I need, alittle sun and no one that knows my name. Don't know if I can handle being away from Kaley for 4 days that will be the hard part for me. I love you and miss you more then ever.

Prissy

This is crazy! It is 4 a.m. and I just finished reading every word of
every sentence of every reflection. I kept telling myself I needed to go
to sleep, but I was just mesmerized by each and every message. I feel
like I now know Billy, Prissy, Kaylie (lil bit), Prissy's Mom, Billy's Mom,
all of Billy's friends, his favorite drink, his favorite games,
the barbeque sauce he'd eat off asphalt, his sense of humor, his zest
for life, the emotional roller coaster Prissy's on (and I just went along
for the ride, too), the new house, the memorials, etc., etc.... I have read
alot of reflections, but I have NEVER read so many on one site. I am so
thankful that when I get to Heaven, I will get to meet this wonderful
person that I, too have grown to love in a few hours! My heart breaks
too for all the sorrow and anguish you feel, but I know our Lord Jesus
wants to fill that void with His love that surpasses our understanding. He
is the Great Healer, not time. And He owes us no explanation, no matter
how badly we think we need one. He is truly worthy of our trust. I am
grateful for this site becuz I think it is so useful for people to be honest
about their true feelings and to a have a forum where they can express
them. Prissy, you are so honest and I'm truly sorry your life didn't turn
out the way you planned. And there is only one thing you can do about
that and that is to grieve. You are a darling person and I just wish I
could be there to give you a big hug and to cry with you. I hope Billy's
co-workers can be there for you, no matter how awkward they feel. It
seems to be what you need. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need. If
people know I'm sure they will want to be there to meet that need. I just
wish you the very best thru the most devastating circumstances. This is
so difficult for all that knew and loved Billy. I can only imagine, and my
heart goes out to all of you. Billy was the first to die in your dept. We,
too, lost a deputy for the first time in our county, just 2 months to the
day before Billy. I still bring flowers to the accident site. My heart still
grieves for all those who love and miss Matt. I didn't know him
personally, but saw his patrol car alot when I passed by on my way
home. It is very sad, too as he was young and left too soon. And even
sadder becuz they hadn't yet started a family and so there is no little one
to carry on her/his Daddy's legacy. God bless you each and every one
who is still reeling from Billy's premature departure and may your faith
in our Lord Jesus Christ carry you thru this dark valley. 23rd Psalm
With love from one coast of America to the opposite one.

Lynn Kole
Washington State

Billy,

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and your family. Please keep a watchful eye on our troops overseas and our fellow officers.

Allen Wilford
FCPS Div of Law Enforcement

Just want to let you know that you are on my mind and in my heart. We miss you more and more everyday. Keep a watch out for all of us and help Prissy find her way. Love ya my friend. Deb

Debbie Stevens

Some days you are on my mind a lot, and today is one of them, I know Heaven is the best, however, you can't know how much you are remembered everyday. I have pictures on my desk and it keeps me smiling just to see them. More join you everyday and things here are turning to war so more will be coming, I know you will give them the Grand Tour, Billy because that is just the kind of guy you are.....Pray for Peace
Always,
Isaiah 40:31

Billy, I have your memorial pin and Kaley's picture together right here on my desk to remind me each day of not only the bad but also the good....Kaley is adorable as you well know and a little replica of you. The impact you made on our lives in your short number of years on earth just goes to show us once again that we should make every single day count.....Your ears must burn a lot because every conversation turns to you....We miss you, 762.
Melody

March 13, 2003

Susan Prater
Friend

March 13, 2003

Hi, Billy -

This is another one of those "13th's" and you're so much on my mind. Just wanted to let you know you're thought of and missed every single day. Springtime in Heaven must be a sight to behold . . . . . enjoy!!

Love,

Susan Prater
Friend