Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

HI BRIAN, I WAS JUST SITTING HERE AT WORK AND THOUGHT I WOULD LOOK UP THE MEMORIAL PAGE AND SEE IF THERE WERE ANY NEW ENTRIES ON YOU AND THERE IT WAS A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU FROM JENELLE, SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY BUT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE MUST HAVE WANTED ME TO KNOW, SO HERE IT IS A DAY LATE BUT
"H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y"
"B R I A N "

YOUR FRIEND DEBB"Y"

September 27, 2005

Happy Birthday Larry! We miss you alot. You know those balloons I released to you today, well, the red represented the love of God and the love that is in us all, the white represented peace, and the blue represented your bravery and to honor you on your birthday. You will always remain in our hearts and my prayers go out to your wife and son and your family. THey too remain in my thoughts and prayers. May God continue to give them strength daily and that the joy of the Lord is their stength. God bless.

Jen
GPD

September 26, 2005

As I sit here and look at all your pictures I can't help but wonder what you would be like today, how would you have matured in your "OLD" age. Your birtyday is coming up and it just makes me sad to think that you won't be here to celebrate it. I know I feel like I have aged immensley in these four years, I can't seem to age as gracefully as I know you would have. We miss you soooooooo very much

Love you with all my heart, soul, body, mind & money baby.

Erika M

September 10, 2005

I had met you, Brian early in your career at Gallup, as I was on a bomb call out there. The second time I saw you, was under sad circumstances, as I was the Criminal Agent, that attended your autopsy. I assisted other NMSP Criminal Agents with the investigation, and I just want to say, that even though it was an act that ended your life way too soon, your dedication to the department and unselfessness to work while being sick, showed you were of great Character. To the family, I will never forget the comments made to me, during the investigation of what a great Officer he was. My sympathy to you and all of us in the law enforcement field as we lost a brother.

Michael Davies
New Mexico State Police-Retired

September 1, 2005

Hi Daddy, today was my first day of school, I am in the 1st grade! It was hard because my day is long so I cried just a little bit but mom promises it will get better. My teacher is really nice and of course I have already made some friends. I miss you being here Daddy....Love you


I know you are in a better place but look at all the wonderful things you have missed out on......

Love you with all my heart,soul,body,mind and money baby

Dylan & Erika

August 9, 2005

Together We Walk the Stepping Stones

Come, take my hand, the road is long.
We must travel by stepping stones,
No, you're not alone. I've been there,
Don't fear the darkness. I'll be with you,
We must take one step at a time,
But remember, we may have to stop awhile,
It's a long way to the other side.

We have many stones to cross,
Some are bigger than others,
Shock, denial and anger to start,
Then comes guilt ,despair and loneliness,
It's a hard road to travel, but it must be done,
It's the only way to reach the other side.

Come, slip your hand in mine,
What? Oh, yes it's strong,
I've held so many hands like yours,
Yes, mine was once small and weak like yours,
Once, you see, I had to take someone's hand,
In order to take the first step,
Ooops! You've stumbled. Go ahead and cry,
Don't be ashamed. I understand,
Let's wait here awhile so that you can get your breath,
When you're stronger, we'll go on, one step at a time,
There's no need to hurry.

Say, it's nice to hear you laugh,
Yes, I agree, the memories you shared are good,
Look, we're halfway there now,
I can see the other side,
It looks so warm and sunny,
Oh, have you noticed? We're nearing the last stone,
And you're standing alone,
And look, your hand, you've let go of mine,
We've reached the other side.

But wait, look back, someone is standing there,
They are alone and want to cross the stepping stones,
I'd better go. They need my help,
What? Are you sure?
Why, yes, go ahead, I'll wait,
You know the way,
You've been there,
Yes, I agree. It's your turn, my friend......
To help someone else cross the stepping stones.

Author Unknown

I am so thankful for the many hands that continue to reach out to me as I continue to stumble.........

Erika M

July 7, 2005

Happy Fathers Day in heaven, Wish you could be here with us cause we miss you dearly......

Love you with all my heart,soul,body mind and money BABY!!!

Dylan & ERika M

June 18, 2005

I found this site by accident. The feelings that each person shows here brought a tear to my eye. This is strange because Mitchell always left you with a smile. I first met Brian at the Police Academy and remember how SWAT was all he ever wanted to do. I'm glad he was good enough to get that for himself. My renewed condolences to his family most I only met briefly. It's so easy to continue on and protect ourselves by not thinking of those lost, for some reason I thought of Brian today and found this place to hopefully let him know. God's blessing to you Erika, you've done so much to keep Brian's memory alive.

Sgt. Glenn Chadborn
Deming Police Dept.

May 24, 2005

Erika,
We met during our first year at Police Week. I was looking through the reflections and found you....I remember spending time with you, your sister, and Buck....I'll never forget you guys and the people I met that first year. I hope you are doing well and the little one, too. It's amazing that it's been 4 years and we are all still surviving. I just wanted to say hello and that I am thinking of you. Krissy Vazquez Ensoll (Frank Vazquez, EOW 11/06/01)

Krissy

May 19, 2005

May 29,2001
You were sick and had stayed home sleeping the whole day so when I got there after work I told myself that I was going to turn off all the phones and not set the alarm for 3am so you would miss your SWAT training. I knew you would not be feeling well but would still go because that was what you did, you loved your job. I wish I would have let my instincts lead me that day. When the phone rang at 11pm I was so mad at myself because I should have done more...It was a shots fired call and there was a barricaded subject inside... that was all I heard as you told the person on the other end that you were fine and would be there soon.

You gave me one last kiss good bye said "I love you and I will see you in the morning."

May 30, 2001
I woke up with a very nervous feeling, I could not put my finger on it so I picked up the phone and dialed your number... and when I realized it was only 5am I told myself I would leave you alone for a bit longer. I thought I would get up and get ready for work and give you a call from there.The whole time I was getting ready I felt rushed and shaky and then there was a knock at my door at that point I completely lost track of time... I woke up my baby and dressed him as fast as I could to take him to my moms house.... still not knowing why I had to go in such a hurry because no one had the nerve to let me know that you were already dead! But maybe they didn't have to I knew in my heart......

When we got to the hospital I remember walking in and expecting to see and hear a lot of commotion.. but instead there was silence.... No doctors shouting orders. I had been there several times and knew that this was not normal...He took me to a back room and kept telling me to wait, I just wanted to see you, Then Mr. Malone came in and he was my answer......... I never thought I would not like seeing him!! I remember making a call to your parents, I'm not sure what I said but it was rushed and they understood that it was urgent. What seemed like hours went by and they finally took me to your room. The tube was still in your mouth, and you were so cold I just wanted to cover you up to keep you warm... The smell of tear gas penetrated your entire body. Someone told me that I could not touch your hands because they were no longer yours, all of a sudden you went from being a human being to being a piece of evidence in a crime scene. I'm not sure who all came and went but I know my dad was there and there was a lady that prayed with us for a while.... we then went to the funeral home and wanted to see you but they told us you were in a body bag and were going to be shiped to the ME's office and we could not see you anymore until you came back in a few days...

The years that have followed have been pure hell. There is no other word for it some things I remember and others I wish I could erase from my memory and my dreams.

I know that I will never have all the answers I need to heal but my strength is only through the grace of God and the reflection of you in our son...
This month is always so hard and every year I say it has gotten better but its always one step foreward and two steps back........ and to think that your department barley put in any effort in honoring you and the other officers this year is just so sad to me... I know that there are many of us who will never forget you the people who go every year and remember you are the ones that have always made me feel greatful...so I just want to thank them for always being there to help us keep your honorable, precious memory alive!

My life has been forever changed, from the day I met you. I became a better person because of you, I became a proud mother because of you. You saved me from myself and I only wish that I could have done more, there is so much I struggle with and your not here to give me the answers...Your job here was not done, I need you, Dylan needs you, your parents need you.

I wish you would'nt have promised me forever, them maybe my expectations would not have been so high. I just wanted to talk to you so much today...

Love you with all my heart,soul,body, mind and money baby.

Always Your Wife

May 11, 2005

Last week, I asked God to provide a way.
Instead, He performed a miracle.
Today, I asked God to give me a hand.
Instead, He gave more than I asked for.
I prayed to Him for healing and forgiveness.
He provided peace.
I prayed for protection.
He blessed us with His grace and mercy.
The Lord tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
He tells us to be strong and courageous.
Even though we face difficult situations and go thru many trials, we do so with courage because we know He is with us. During the times we felt alone, it was us drifting away from you.
Each day, He sends His angels to take charge over us.
Larry, I want to thank you for being with us today. I know you were amidst us.
I could hardly hold back the tears.
I will always remember you as a friend and hero. I will continue to hold your family in prayer and for all those who serve and protect.
God's grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness.

God bless,
Jen/GPD

Jen

May 11, 2005

HI BRIAN

WELL I JUST FOUND OUT THEY ARE HAVING THE MEMORIAL FOR YOU TOMORROW, I NO LONGER WORK AT THE PD AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW, BUT MY NEW BOSS IS VERY NICE AND TREATS ME VERY WELL, SO I WILL TRY AND SHOW UP FOR A LITTLE WHILE JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND THE FRIENDS THAT WE STILL HAVE AT THE PD. I HEARD THAT THE CHIEF WAS NOT GOING TO HAVE THE MEMORIAL THIS YEAR FOR YOU, CUZ CERTAIN PEOPLE THAT STILL CARE WERE TRYING TO SET IT FOR THE 31ST AND HE SAID WE PROBABLY WON'T HAVE IT THIS YEAR AND THEN CHANGED HIS MIND I GUESS AND TOLD THEM TO HAVE IT ON THE 11TH SO THEY HAD TO BUST THEIR YOU KNOW WHAT TO GET IT SET UP WITH NOT MUCH NOTICE, SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY I HAD TO LEAVE THE PD, THEY JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE DEDICATED THEIR LIVES TO THIS JOB AND WHO CARED ABOUT THE PEOPLE THEY HAD TO WORK WITH, THIS WAS OUR SECOND FAMILY, WE LAUGHED AND CRIED WITH EACH OTHER AS WE DO WITH OUR FAMILIES AT HOME, SO BRIAN AS I SEE IT THEY REALLY DON'T NEED THE CHIEFS PERMISSION TO HAVE A MEMORIAL FOR YOU EACH YEAR, JUST CUZ HE DIDN'T KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN HE CAN MAKE US FORGET YOU, CUZ WE WON'T. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HOW MUCH BIGGER DYLAN HAS GOTTEN, OH AND HOW HANSOME HE'S GETTING.

YOUR FRIEND
DEBB"Y"

DEBBY

May 10, 2005

Hey Larry, time seems to go by faster than the days end. There is never any time for anything anymore, not friends, family and even work but when it comes to friends and family...we always make time even when thier not next to us each day. I now know what you did at work everyday that you were there, I'm doing it myself now...and I'm glad for it but I know I'll never be as good as you were...at least it makes me feel closer to ya if thats possible and I know your watchin over me and my team...yeah, its a real war sometimes...but I don't care as long as I know my fellow friend and warrior is at my side...I ask your blessings every day brother...most when I sometimes don't think you would approve of how I wish I could do things...but thats just it, you still keep my honor clean cause I know your watching and thats my ticket to seeing you again someday....always your brother in arms, Frank.

Sgt. FZB
Gallup Police

April 21, 2005

Letter from Heaven:

To my dearest family, something I'd like to say. But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from Heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just Eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I am with you every morning, noon, and night. That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through. God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on. There's so much we have to do, to help our mortal man." God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at the night day's chores put to flight, God and I are closest to you...in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years. Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain. Remember, there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain. I wished I could tell you all that God has planned. If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over; I am closer to you now, then I ever was before. There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; but together we can do it by taking it one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too; that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help somebody's who's in sorrow and pain; then you can say to God at night..."my day was not in vain." And now I am contended...that my life was worthwhile. Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low; just lend a hand to pick them up as on your way you go. When your walking down the street and you've got me on your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind. And when it's time for you to go...from the body to be free. Remember your not going...your coming home to me.

This is how I envision it will be when my time has finally come to see you again....I can only imagine!

Erika M

April 14, 2005

Hi Honey, I know it has been a long time since I wrote to you. Life is still just life and not a day goes by that I am not aware of your presence. I can't believe that our anniversary is coming up already! Isnt it amazing to see how big Dylan is getting, I feel so old. You were supposed to be here to help me with all the decisions I struggle with. Please send me a sign, what should I do? I know you would do the right thing and I just hope that I can do whats best for him too....as he gets older it gets harder because he needs that male presence about you. I can't wait to take him to kids camp this summer he is so excited to go. I'm sorry we won't be going to D.C. this year but I promise that I will be there next year and we will be in santa Fe of course. say hello to all our loved ones up there and keep watching over us.

Love you with all my heart, soul, body ,mind and money baby.

Your wife

April 9, 2005

Ride Along


So you don’t like the ticket I just gave you.
Well, come take a ride with me.
A trip to the scene of an accident.
Where a person now struggles for freedom, and for life.
All because someone was in a hurry, or late for work.

You say you didn’t call me and you don’t need my help.
That this is a family matter and none of my business.
Come take a ride with me.
Where a child now cowers in the nearest corner, or bedroom closet.
They cover their ears and ask god “ please make them stop”.
Still think no one needs my help.

You’ve said all we do is eat donuts and drink coffee.
Come take a ride with me.
On the countless days after taking four calls in an hour.
We think we have time to sit down for dinner.
Only to be call away again.

You think we’re cold and have no heart.
Well, come take a ride with me.
To a place where the pipes now lay to rest.
A brother or sister who gave their life, for someone like you.
A place where tears fall like rain for their family,
For our family, and yes even for you.
Yeah, come take a ride with me.

Your Wife

February 16, 2005

Happy V-day we miss you lots....
enjoy the cards Dylan made for you !!

Love you with all my heart,soul,body, mind and money baby

Erika & Dylan

February 11, 2005

Prayer for all officers.

Lord, I ask You to be with me in a very
special way as I face the challenges
that I must face each day.

Please give to me compassion for the
innocent I see. Help me to protect and
serve those who depend on me.

And when duty calls to danger, walk
closely by my side. Instill in me
great courage and be my strength, my guide.

And whenever I am called to do
always thankful I will be
that You have been the unseen guest
walking next to me.

Bless all the officers in this city
and across this nation. Protect them and their families.

Amen

Larry, you made the ultimate
sacrifice. You are a hero.
Heros are never forgotten.
I will never forget you.

Jenelle
GPD

February 4, 2005

Larry, I was thinking of u more these last few days more than ever before. I guess it's cause of the new year...and more so cause ur my pal and I never forget my best friends. I know i don't have to say much cause we talk often enough....but ya know what i mean..just ur trusty pal checking in. YOUR STILL MY BEST PAL LARRY AND I STILL MISS YOU ALOT....frankie.

Sgt. FZB
Gallup Police

January 15, 2005

When God made Peace Officers...

When the Lord was creating peace officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order?

A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform.

"He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvas the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day.

"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, "May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.) "Another pair here in the side of his head for his partners' safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, "you'll be all right ma'am, when he knows it isn't so."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."

The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly, "Can it think?" she asked. "You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop... and still it keeps its sense of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."

"That's not a leak," said the lord, "it's a tear."

"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.

"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."

"You're a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."

Love you with all my heart, soul,body,mi

January 8, 2005

This is the beginning of a new year, I sure do hope that it is a better one than the ones past. We miss you so very much, I know you are looking down on us but sometimes thats just not enough....... We love you always baby

Your Wife

January 1, 2005

I still hear the songs
I still see the lights
I still feel your love
on cold wintry nights

I still share your hopes
and all of your cares
I'll even remind you
to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you
you still make me proud
You stand head and shoulders
above all the crowd

Keep trying each moment
to stay in His grace
I came here before you
to help set your place

You don't have to be
perfect all the time
He forgives you the slip
If you continue the climb

To my wife and son, family and friends
please be thankful today
I'm still close beside you
In a new special way

I Love you all deeply
now don't shed a tear
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year

December 22, 2004

Farewell

No farewells were spoken
There was no time for goodbyes
You were gone before we knew it
Only God knows why
If tears could build a stairway
And hearts could build a lane
We would walk away to heaven
To bring you back again.
Friends may think we have forgotten
When at times they see us smile
Little do they know the heartache
Our smiles hide all the while.
To some you may be forgotten
To others a part of the past.
But to those who loved and lost you
Your memory will always last.

December 4, 2004

Hi there I know it has been a long time. Life has been very crazy around here, The holidays are once again upon us and just the thought of having to put on the fake happy smile is agonizing. Can you believe all the crazy s*** life has thrown at me, (I know, I won't sit here and feel sorry for myself!) I wonder how we would have done things. I sure have learned a lot of hard lessons though.

Can you believe how smart your kid is! Oh my gosh he blows me away sometimes. He loves school, he gets so excited every time he reads a new word.

I hope that you are happy with the progress we have made with the plates I truly believe that soon we will see it a reality. I am very excited about that. We all miss you tremendously I just had to write seeing how you have left me no option. Leave it to you to ground me always! Only you baby. Keep your loving hand on us always honey....

Love you with all my heart, soul, body, mind and money.

Your Wife

November 23, 2004

Hi Daddy Do you remember six years ago today when you and mommy were in the hospital? I know it was the happiest day of your lives, we spent the whole day talking about how excited you were and how ready mommy was to get it over with!!
I miss you so much and wish you could be here to celebrate at my party with me, all of my school friends and family will be there.
The only thing missing in our lives is you, the hole in my little heart is still very big. I told mommy the other day that I wish I could go back to being a baby so that you could not be gone and we could be happy we love you with all our heart, soul, body, mind, and money DADDY !!!

your son

October 22, 2004