Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Sweet Bear,
5 years ago we were where I am today. We are in Washington, DC, attending the National Police Week. I never imagined 5 years ago that I would be smiling again and finding a new normal. My life with you prepared me for what was to come and I never dreamt it would be how it is now. We are leaving a bear at the memorial this year which is fitting for my bear. I love you and miss you more than any words can say. C

May 13, 2005

Hi, Barry
It's been awhile since I have visited this site. But as we are getting prepared for our "anniversary" (reunion), as Whitney once called it, I could not let another day go by without visiting you. You are forever in our thoughts. I think the best picture I have of you is the one taken at Aunt Retta's at our reunion in Sept. of 2000. You and Cathy were on the paddle boat, you both had grins from ear to ear and you were pedalling hard. I had that picture enlarged and Cathy has one too. I have other pictures, but that one is the best.
Aunt Retta and I were at Granny's this past weekend for Mother's Day. Wish you had been there to pull your pranks. We all miss them and laugh about them often. Jerry says the funniest was the "French Hairdresser". He has a hard time relating that one. He usually is laughing so hard he can't talk.
Anyway, just want you to know you are missed very much. And you will always have our love.
Aunt TeTe

Bonnie Kocurek- Aunt

May 9, 2005

Hi Shug - we were in Austin this weekend attending and working for COPS at the Texas Peace Officer's Memorial. Four years ago we sat in the audience of that Memorial Service as heartbroken and grief stricken as we could ever be. The days that have gone by since then haven't been easy ones, but we've managed to get through them knowing that one day we'll see you again. You will forever be loved and missed so much. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you. Sweet memories are everywhere. I got to speak to many moms this weekend whose hearts are broken. My heart aches for them because I know how much pain they're in. I love you so much and you're forever my child.......Mom

Jean Hill

May 2, 2005

Today was one year since Isaac joined you up there. What a lovely dedication service they had at Bayview for the memorial garden there. I was thinking of you today. Smiling and chuckling and thinking of all the pranks the two of you, who never met before, are pulling right now. Brothers who had never met on Earth but were so alike in personality that I'm sure you are best friends in Heaven. It's this thought that makes me both happy and sad at the same time. I couldn't help but shed tears today, for you and for Isaac. I know you are still on duty watching over us all. Thank you. Miss you. Love you.

Buffy
Sister

April 11, 2005

I asked for strength and guidance. You popped into my dreams and held your arms open wide to give me a hug. It's funny how in dreams it seems so real.

Thank you for being a man that would show love and emotion. Thank you for always having a minute or an hour to talk about something or nothing at all. Thank you for the hugs. Most of all, thank you for being my brother. I love you.

See you next time,
Buffy

February 8, 2005

What a wonderful tribute this memorial page is to Deputy Hill. One can easily see what a great man he was and that his legacy lives on in his two beautiful daughters and very devoted wife, not to mention all the other family members who have left such moving messages to him. I am sure that he is resting peacefully in God's glory and keeping watch over all of his loved ones still here on earth. I pray that nothing but peace and happiness comes into your lives until you are able to be with Barry again.

Linda Lamm - LEO Wife and sister
of Jay Balchunas EOW 11/05/04

February 1, 2005

Hi Shug - I'm just thinking about you. Life is going on but it sure "ain't" easy. I love you always...........Mom

Jean Hill

January 10, 2005

To the entire Hill family: You are an inspiration to us all as you continue to honor the death of your father, husband, brother and friend. I was so moved reading all the many reflections for this fine man. I know you still hurt deeply and I pray the you will have God's continued comfort.

Sergeant Mike Smathers
Charlotte (NC) Mecklenburg Police Department

December 16, 2004

Hey Bear, As much as I love this holiday time, I so do not like this month at all. I have missed you so much lately and can't seem to control the emotions that come with it. We have your tree in the front window and the blue lights shine bright in the window. Our family tree is here in the window by the fireplace and I see ornaments from years past and remember so many Christmas' from us not knowing how we were going to put one present under the tree to the ones that were stacked all around the tree. But each one was filled with so much joy and love from you. I close my eyes and see that blue robe and the plaid slippers that left skid marks on the floors! I hung our first stockings up today and was overwhelmed with memories and I didn't know if I was going to giggle or cry. There are new stockings over the mantle now and they too bring a smile and tear all in the same thought. I found an ornament we put on the tree from year to year that Lacy did several years ago. It is the paper angel with the poem on it........
If you woke up to a white wonderland
Maybe you might just understand
My ideal Christmas
If you could only see
The lights on the tree
In the middle night
They shine bright
Waking up so early
Makes my dad very surly
My mom in her gown
My sister bouncing around
When I see the glow
Of their faces I know
It's my ideal Christmas.

Barry, I know you are experiencing the most ideal Christmas of all time - you are celebrating right there with Christ. Merry Christmas my sweet Bear. I love you. C

December 15, 2004

Hey Big Brother! What a whirlwind weekend! This was the first time I was able to fly out for your memorial dinner and I'm sure you could see that it turned out really nice. We all still miss you. You know what I like best now? I like that I can now think about you every day and just smile. (Of course, as I write that I tear up) But it's true. I love the fact that I can now smile and laugh about all the fun we all had when we were together and all the crazy things you would do! I spent a lot of time with Whit over the weekend. She is you made over. At eleven, all legs!! We went shopping and hung out and she even got her ears pierced! (and didn't cry---but she has got a grip let me tell you! She about broke my hand she was squeezing so hard!) We had a good time just driving and listening to music. She thought she needed to explain to me who all the artists were on the radio...I had to explain to her that I'm not THAT old! I do know who most of these artists are! Told her she better watch out! I might have to bust out and show her a few moves...HA! I know you are watching everyday. Do you see us looking up at you? I like to think you do.

Love you--Love you too.

Buffy Jackson, Sister

December 8, 2004

Hi Shug - well, it's been four years today and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. Today was the 3rd Annual Barry Hill Memorial Dinner that we gave in your memory. Our house was filled all day with friends and family and officers who dropped in to share a meal with us and to help us get through the day. It helps so much to share this day with them. Where has four years gone? Dad and I were talking last night and I said to him, "This time four years ago, we were happy as larks. We thought we were sitting pretty for the rest of our lives. How could we have ever known that in one split second the next morning, we would be in the deepest grief and despair we have ever known and nothing we have would mean anything to us." There is no joy in material things anymore. Your death helped us to get our priorities straight and we would give up everything we have if we could have you back. We thank God everyday for giving you to us and letting us have you in our lives for 38 years. Thank you for the joy you brought us. I love you so much............Mom

Jean Hill

December 4, 2004

Hi Shug - you're heavy on my mind today and we're all missing you terribly. We get up every day and go about our daily business but no matter what we do, there's always an emptiness in our hearts that just won't go away. You're loved and missed so much. Your brother is getting ready to be deployed back to Iraq for the third time. He just got another promotion and should be able to retire in a couple of years. I can't remember if he had made officer rank when you were still with us. So much has been clouded since then, but he is expecting to pick up Captain before he retires. We all wish you were here - nothing is the same for us and the loneliness to see you gets a little hard to bear sometimes. But knowing where you are gives us peace and we know that one day we'll see you again. I will always love you..........Mom

Jean Hill

October 27, 2004

Thank God life keeps us all busy. It's the down time that makes us stop and remember all the laughs and love and that's when we miss you the most. Many nights we have cried for you and said a prayer for all the families and friends of other slain officers. Watch over us and know that you were and always will be loved.

August 26, 2004

It's been almost 4 years since the last time I've visited this site.I have never forgotten the day you left us and I think about you all the time. Talking to you and Oscar on those long nights going home after work help to understand. I can still see you two guys sitting right next to me in class. After all this time and looking thru the "Reflections" and realizing today is your birthday, I had to take a double look at my watch! What a wonderful surprise! Happy birthday, man! Thanks for letting me know your still here.

Brad Mathes
Harris County Sheriff's Dept.

August 21, 2004

Happy Birthday Bear. You are loved and missed terribly. C

August 21, 2004

Hi Bear,
Well I can't believe Mom has gotten to see you before I did. Her suffering was so long and difficult but I know now that her lungs are full of sweet glory of Jesus and the two of you are rejoicing together.
I love you.
C

August 2, 2004

Hi Shug - today is your "Baby Wacy's birthday. It's so hard to believe that it has been 22 years since you stood in the delivery room and teased us by not telling us that we had a beautiful little granddaughter. You just held her and danced all around the room with us trying to get you to hurry up and tell us what we had. It's memories like these that keep us going through each day. You would be as proud of her as she is of you. Our hearts ache so much to see you and to hear you laugh and we would give anything to hear one of your silly little jokes again. The piano sits silent. Thank you for all the memories. I love you so much and I know that one day we'll see each other again........Mom

Mom

July 26, 2004

Dear Big Brother,
Today I am reminded of what a great man you turned out to be. I was glad and sad when I talked to Dad today. Glad just to hear his voice over the miles and sad because you aren't here to be with him. Todd and I are too far away. You were always the one close by. But now that you're gone, today, I felt bad for him. I know he had a great afternoon with Cathy, Whit and the gang but I wish you were still here in more than just spirit. I know I am a realist. Life has to go on, but I wish it could be going on with you not without you. I love you and will always miss you. Happy Father's Day.
Your sister.
Buffy (Barfola, Barfy)

June 21, 2004

Hi Bear ~ Father's Day did not go by without you being thought of today. We did enjoy being with Dad today and I was reminded just how much like him you were. He taught you so much about being a daddy and a husband. I am thankful for so much and typing it all would take all day but on this day I want to just say that you were an amazing father to our children and they are blessed beyond measure of your example to them. I could not have had a better man to father our children. You are missed and loved more than words can say.

June 20, 2004

Hi Daddy! Happy fathers day! I miss you so much. If you were here, I'd give you a big kiss and hug! Wish you were here so we could celebrate together.
Love ya a lot,
Whitney

Whitney Hill
Daughter

June 20, 2004

We attended Whitney's 5th grade graduation today and it was another of those milestones that you should have been able to participate in. She is so grown up yet still such a little girl. She helped present the Outstanding Character award that we have in your name and she was so proud to do so. The young man that won this year is a very good example of the same character you lived your life by. Whit will begin a new phase in her life this fall as she begins middle school and I know you would be so proud of her accomplishments this far. You are never far from our thoughts and we love you always. C

May 28, 2004

I have visited this memorial many times, far more than any other. More than once, I have cried when I have read messages left by his wife, daughters, parents, and in-laws. There is no doubt the Deputy Hill was a very special man. The family's faith is an inspiration and I pray that they will continue to look to the Savior for the strength to make it through each day. God Bless the Hill family.

May 26, 2004

Bear ~ Whitney and I have once again spent Police Week in Washington, DC. We sat at the wall and traced your name with our fingers as the tears fell remembering your precious life with us. We saw a new row of names added below yours and it was a painful reminder of how many new "family members" we now will meet. Whitney was a true inspiration to many new surviving children by just letting them talk about their parent and their life without him or her. You would be so proud of how she is growing and loving others. The compliments by those that have met Lacy and Joe through COPS was so comforting and was a testimony of your legacy. Life will never be the same without you but as we have made steps forward we will continue to honor your memory in our life and all we do.
Love, C

May 16, 2004

Hi Shug - I sat outside for a little while this morning and had a "Barry Moment". My thoughts went back to the times when you would come over and it would just be you and me and we would sit on the patio and just talk and talk. I miss those times so much. I also miss playing golf with you and going to Granny's with you while you piddled around her place doing things she couldn't do herself. I miss our family dinners where you were the life of the party. I just miss you. I wish I could see you. Every now and then I get up to go and give you a call and then I catch myself and wonder what on earth I am doing. I know one of these days I will get to see you again. Until then, please know that you are loved and missed so much. Life is not the same for any of us anymore. I never knew I could hurt so much or shed so many tears. Staying busy helps but the pain never goes away.

Your brother is on his way home from Iraq. He arrives back on base in CA sometimes early tomorrow morning. Thank God he is coming home safe. Dad and I have been so worried and stressed out about him being over there.

I love you, Shug and I miss you so much but you're never far away because you're always in my thoughts..... Mom

Jean Hill
Mom

May 5, 2004

HI FAVORITE SON-IN-LAW, LOOKS LIKE I WILL SEE YOU SOON. EXPECTING TO SEE YOU WITH MAMA ALLEN. LOVE YOU

ARLENE
MOTHER-IN-LAW

May 2, 2004