Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Seven years may have passed but you have not been forgotten. Your memory will live on in the hearts of those that love you dearly. Time passes and life goes on for most but for your Mom I know her life was changed forever seven years ago when she lost you. Those who have lost children measure time in two stages. One, before we lost you and then two, after we lost a child. No matter how we measure time, each day we wake up thinking of you and go to bed at night thinking of you. Continue to keep watch over your loved ones and protect them from harm. You have not been forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

August 9, 2007

Officer Gleason,
In two days, the seventh anniversary of your EOW will be here. I have read reflections left by your loving family and through tears, I can see by these messages and by looking at your picture that you were more than a wonderful son, brother and friend. You were someone who was not afraid to choose this line of work that is demanding and precarious. You put average people like me in front of your own safety in order to make the world better, safer. In a society of gradual self-absorption and self-centeredness, there are a few beacons of light still out there who push these notions aside. In your twenty years on this earth, I am sure you taught more lessons of morality and ethical thinking than most people do in a lifetime.

Thank you for making a difference. You did, so many times over.

Pennsylvania citizen

August 7, 2007

My dearest Brian,
Well the date is here once again and its hard to believe it has been seven years. I know for me part of my life stopped and time has stood still since Aug 9/2000. I went to Fort Polk on the anniversary of your passing and around the same time of the accident I laid down on the ground in the very spot where your body lay burning. I reached over to put my arm around you as though you were there and in my mind I held you. People say how could you do that? Well it was out of my hands the night that horrible accident took place and in my mothers heart all I could think about is how this time I could not be there for you as I had all the other times. For me as your mother the only way I could get PEACE was to go there and I prayed that somehow God let you know that Mom was there and I came and held you in my spirit.I know people just cannot grasp me doing a thing like that but it is what gave me PEACE to my mothers heart. If it was not so far away I would do it every year and I do not expect people to understand all that matters is that I do. People handle pain and the loss of a child in their own way and this was my way in handling it best for me. That piece of ground at Fort Polk is priceless to me and oh what I would give if it could talk to me because it is where you took your last breath from this world. You always wanted to hear me sing Amazing Grace and at the crash site I sang it for you and I do every year still on this date to you at your grave site. I cannot carry much of a tune, but you liked hearing me sing it so I pray that God lets you hear me in some way.I know that God has given you His very best and you are in a much better place. We will send off balloons with a card to you on the 9th. Watch for me when God calls my name and I send you my love on angels wings.

I love and miss you so very much
MoM

August 6, 2007

My Dearest Brother,
I can not even begin to describe how I miss you. I constantly think about you everyday of my life. Especially when I am listening to music. I remember one time when we were coming out of Wal*Mart me and you began singing Summer Girls! I listen to that song a lot. I wish you were still here sometimes. Although, you are in such a better place right now. I would never want you to come back to this wretched world. I love you so much! You wouldn't believe it, but I actually love to ride roller coasters and listen to almost the same music you used to. I often think about the memories that I do have. Sometimes it is hard to remember every detail since I was only nine years old when you passed away. I still think about you taking me to see Toy Story when it was in theaters, when you took me fishing, and when we used to wrestle all the time. Mom would always yell to not hurt me. I know if you were still here it would break your heart to know that EHS was destroyed by a tornado. I toured it after the tornado. I took so many pictures. Walking into the field house, greenhouse, and onto the football field made me so sad. I went to their graduation this year and it took me back to that day when you graduated. I still remember what dress I was wearing. You wouldn't believe how much we resemble now. Sometimes I pull out those last two letters you gave me and read them. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! I can not even tell you how bad I wish you could have been here for my very first prom this year. I know you were with me in spirit though and I know you will be for my upcoming senior prom. One day I will see you again!
Brian, I love you so much and miss you.
I know I do not write much on this but every night I make sure that I tell God to tell you that I love you!
I will see you one day!

I love you Brian,
Your Little Sister

Kendall
your little sister

July 16, 2007

Brian's mom,

Thank you so much for leaving a reflection on my husband's page. I am so sorry for your loss. Reading the reflections left by you and Brian's dad breaks my heart.

Brian,

Looking at your picture fills me with sadness. So young with your whole life ahead of you. Although I didn't know you, I feel a connection to every hero that died protecting all of us. You were only here a short time but you made a difference in this world.

Jo Ann Lasater
Wife of Officer Larry Lasater EOW 4/24/05

July 16, 2007

Brian,

It's been a while since I looked at this page. I want you to know that since this happened there have been many doubts in my mind that it took place as the record states. I know it cannot be undone, death cannot be reversed, but for those left behind wondering and waiting for the truth to come out it seems so unfair. When we look at the spiritual side of death we are not to question why, it was your time and thank God you were saved.......we know where you are........but the flesh wants answers, answers that have not been given, lies have been told. There are those among us that know exactly what took place that morning and all we can do is hope that they understand that guilt can eat away at the soul. One day we hope they wake up and see that the "truth can set you free"!! Your Mother wants nothing more than to know what happened and why, she knows where you are and that you'll both be reunited one day in heaven.....but until that day comes she's never going to have peace about this. People know, the driver knows, your fellow MP's know, others know. In time I pray that they will truly become men and set your mother at ease. It takes a "real" man to speak up when the pressure has been put on them to stay quiet. It takes a real man to comfort a grieving mother who has lost a son in such a "mysterious" way. If your out there and can lend some assistance and want to do the right thing.....step up and be that man soon. Be set free from the guilt that you carry around every day........you know your out there.....DO-THE-RIGHT-THING!

anonymous

July 15, 2007

I know the past two months, May with Mother's Day, Memorial Day (Both Military and Law Enforcement Personnel remembered) and June was Fathers Day. Holidays that bring back your memory and days your parents have to get through and not to mention the other days, death date, birth date, Christmas etc. Those are just special days, but I know not a day goes by and it does not have to be a holiday or one of those special days that they don't think of you. Their lives have been changed forever and people who have not experienced the loss of a child, no matter how old that child may be, just don't understand. Some may think we are bad luck and not talk to us, others may not know what to say-we accept a simple, "I'm sorry for your loss." Just don't say, "I understand your pain as I lost a loved one. Unless it was a child, you don't understand. Brian, keep watch over your parents, let them feel your presence so they know you are near and guarding over them. Wrap your wings around them and help relieve some of their grief. You have not been forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

June 21, 2007

Dear Brian,
Well today is just one of those days that my heart feels heavy and missing you so MUCH! At times it feels like a deep hole in my heart that has no end in sight. I know I say it over and over just wishing for an answer to why? The worst has happen I loss you here on earth and all I want is the TRUTH to that one question. What really happen that night to have caused the accident? It has been almost seven years of being stuck in a stand still of pure Hell for me not knowing. People say you have to move on and my question to them is how can you move on with no closure when you know that someone has the answer. I just keep praying that maybe someday they will have the heart to set this mothers heart free of the pain I carry in my heart of not knowing. Time moves on and people forget or they choose to try and not think about it. Being your mother I can never forget and will always remember the day that part of me died with you. I guess its just been a bad day for me feeling sorry for myself. Thank God I know He holds me up and loves me through these days and I know that I will see you again and all the pain will be gone. Life will never be the same until we are all together and to never be torn apart again. They have started to tear down Enterprise High School from the tornado in march that came through and took eight lives during school. I feel like there goes another part of you because we have so many memories of your high school years there and you playing football as an Enterprise Wildcat. I was given a brick,piece of the football stadium,and a piece of wood from the green house in Honor of you from Kendalls boyfriend and that meant so much to us. Well maybe tomorrow will be a better day! I love you so much. Ken, Kendall and Gunny send their love also. Yes Gunny is still with us and is eleven years old now and still remembers your name when we say it. She is such a good dog but getting old and having a few health problems now and will probably see you soon. Look for me when God calls my name.

I love you
MoM

June 21, 2007

My Dearest Brian,
It is National Police Week once again. I have a special place in my heart for You and all the other Police Officers who have given their life in the line of duty. Some who loss their life for others and some that loss their life for senseless acts caused by others. It is a bittersweet time because we are sad and at the same time we are Proud and Honor All of You. Iam very Proud of You and Honored to be your mother. Our prayers go out to all the families,friends and co-workers in this profession. It takes dedicated Officers who love their job to serve and protect sometimes thankless people. Brian as always You are in my heart and You and the Others will never be forgotten for the SACRIFICE all of you gave, your lives.
I love you so much and Ken,Kendall,and the rest of the family send their love.
LOVE YOU
Mom

May 18, 2007

My Dearest Brian,
Another Mother's Day is here and it is still so hard without you here with us. I long for the day to hold you in my arms once again and to hear you laugh and see that special smile of yours that would light up your entire face. I remember the day you had to return to AIT after Christmas break when we were waiting on your plane. The other Army guys also started showing up and you in your caring way started to try to take care of a few of them. You chased down one of the guys and told him his cleaners tag was pinned on the back side of his uniform jacket and no one else had told him. Then another one goes by and had white socks on with his Army uniform and you told him to try to keep them hidden so he would not get in trouble. I thought for sure someone would take you wrong and knock you out and to my surprise they were very thankful. I guess I'm thinking about that day on Mother's Day because you were trying to take care of people like a good parent would their children even though you were just a PVT and had enough problems of your own to worry about. That was the way you were. A young man with a caring heart that would do anything to help others. I miss you so much! I still have the candle you gave me when you were little that after it burns out there is a Guardian Angel pin inside. I still have not lit it and for me now it reminds me of you being protected in the Loving Arms of God and surrounded by His Angels. We will meet again and can be surrounded together when He calls my name. I could not be more PROUD of you as my son and I'm honored to be your mother.
I love you
Mom

May 12, 2007

Somewhere I came across your name of the many names that are honored on these pages. I saw that you were an Army MP and I wanted to stop and leave a reflection as I immediately thought of my son Michael who was also an Airborne MP for 5 years prior to beginning his career as a police officer when he finished his enlistment. I salute you for your service to your country and my heart goes out to your parents for I know how their hearts feel and how they must get up every day and get through that day. They will always love you and carry your memory in their hearts. You are a true hero and heroes never die, you will never be forgotten. Continue to keep watch over your loved ones, protect them from harm and keep a special watch over all of our military personnel.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

April 18, 2007

My Dearest Brian,
Another Easter has came and we still miss you so very much. There are days that it is still so hard to get through without you here with us in person. I don't think the pain will ever go away and for me it hurts just as much today as the day it happen. I just wish for a few seconds to hold you in my arms and look into your eyes and kiss your cheek and tell you that I love you. I feel your spirit in my heart it is always with me. I can still hold you in my heart and hold our memories close. Life will never be the same without you here and we will set a place for you at the table as though you are here. We know that you are with us in spirit. We love you and miss you so very much. Look for me when God calls my name and I send you my love on angels wings. Ken, Kendall and the rest of the family also send their love.

I LOVE YOU
MOM

April 7, 2007

Brian, in June I will leave to join the army like you did. It is my goal after two years in an airborne unit, to switch over to an MP company. The support I have seen given to you by your family has somehow inspired me. Thank you for your service and watch over us down here. We all will continue to pray for your family. Stay strong guys

Gillock
a future soldier

March 16, 2007

Brian,

The last time you were with me, after boot camp, you asked me to get a dog, you told me how much I would enjoy one. I thought about it and right before your death got "Bear" from the golden retriver rescue. He brought a lot of joy into my life and help me understand your love of dogs. I would tell people you had sent him to me to love and fill just part of the void I had from you not being here.

On Saturday after 7 years we had to put him to sleep, he had developed liver cancer, I find this the hardest thing I had done since your death.

He is now with you as your friend, I am sure he has stories to tell about coming to your grave with me, and how I talked about you. Till I see you both again, I love and miss you.

Love Dad

Dad

February 11, 2007

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOVING FAMILY

CITY OF OLEAN POLICE, NY

February 4, 2007

My Dearest Brian,
Yesterday was your 27th birthday. Hard to believe time passess by so fast. It still seems like only yesterday that I saw you last at the young age of 20 years old. I treasure ALL of our memories together and we miss you so VERY MUCH. We also LOVE YOU and we know you are in a much better place in heaven. We will see you again and it will be for a life time and not memories. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Brian We LOVE YOU

sending our love on angels
MOM Ken Kendall

January 15, 2007

My Dearest Brian,
We miss you so very much again this Christmas 2006. You are always here with us in Spirit and you are LOVED so much. Daddy gave Kendall a belt and he placed a very special belt buckle on it. He placed your military picture inside the buckle with a plastic cover to protect it. She cried and cried and this time it was happy tears. She was so proud of it and will wear it always. She is so proud of you and will wear it in pride of her brother. We still get you a police gift every year because you are still alive, just in a much better place with God.Its our way of keeping your spirit alive here until we are ALL together again in Heaven. Merry Christmas from All of us and look for us when our time comes. We LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
MOM

December 25, 2006

Some people believe in luck...I don't. I believe in blessings. One of the greatest blessings in my life is being a friend of your Dad's family for so many years. And it is also a blessing to know you, Brian. Although we never met, I have learned so much about you and what you mean to so many people. Each day as you are looking down upon your family from heaven, continue to touch their lives and give them strength to continue doing things in your honor. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

kml
friend

December 21, 2006

brian~
you do not know me but i know your father. he has been a great insperation on my life these past five and a half months at the academy. he has strived hard to keep my focused and on the right path and i feel he is a great man. i am writing this because on our graduation day, your dad touched my heart in such a way that i had tears falling from my eyes. he spoke of a wonderful, dedicated young man that he loved dearly. it was hard for him to speak with out letting the pain of your absence be known. i just wanted to tell you that you have a wonderful father who thinks the world of you in life and death. his speech on you was huge eye opener as to how precious life really is. i am sure that you already know all of these things but i wanted to tell you anyway.

Rachel Kepler
BRC #311

rachel

December 13, 2006

Dear Brian,
Today is one of the happiest days I have had in along time.I went to the dedication of a new Memorial dedicated at the park in Honor of the service members killed in non-combat deaths.I fought hard to get your name added to the wall of Freedom and could not get it changed because you were not killed in combat.I guess I was not the only one who was fighting to have their loved ones Honored. A Sacrifice is a Sacrifice combat or not and All need to be remembered for giving their life.It was so hard going by that wall almost everyday knowing your name was not on it.Senator Sessions made sure your name was added to the Congressional Record for life because of it. A new Memorial was added tonight and on the 9th the day you went to heaven 9th of Aug 2000.You and others will not be forgotten any longer.It does not have names on it because there are to many but the saying says it all.

In Honor Of Our Disabled Veterans
In Memory Of The Men And Women
Who Served In The Military
And Later Died As A Result Of Their
Injuries Or Illness Arising
From Their Service
It Is Here We Honor And Place
The Memory Of Those Who Died Under
Non-combat Conditions
We Honor And Remember Their Sacrifice

It was placed under the helicopter and looks so nice.I thank God because I know He had to have changed hearts.My heart can rest in PEACE over one more hurdle to be accomplished.Iam very PROUD of You and LOVE You so much.I send you my love on eagles wings and look for me when my time comes.
I love you
Mom

November 9, 2006

I’m gonna live my life
Like every day’s the last
Without a simple good-bye
It all goes by so fast

And now that you’re gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I’ve let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite

There it goes – up in the sky
There it goes – beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is an empty chair

And now that you’re gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

There it goes – up in the sky
There it goes – beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can’t cry hard enough
No I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

And now that you’re gone
I can’t cry hard enough
No I can’t cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

DAD

October 26, 2006

My Dearest Brian,
I love and miss you so very much. The night before you were killed you had asked me to look for you a vehicle. You said it did not matter what just that the color was black and I told you I would talk to Mike about it. I know that nothing on this earth can even begin to compare to what you have now and never will. We bought Kendall her first car and when we went back to pick it up we spotted just what you would have wanted. We bought your vehicle also. They had one Xterra on the lot that just screamed and looked like you. Guess what color? BLACK! Ken and I put your Military Police car tag on the front of it black trimmed in gold. We put your Military picture inside of it with red, white and blue stars around it. We put your name inside a heart and the date and put it on the back window along with the Military Police sticker sign and dedicated it to you.I know that you would be so proud of it and its you made over. Again I know that it cannot compare too what you have now and I wish I could have gotten it for you before you got killed. The most important thing for me was that I was still able to grant you THE LAST THING THAT YOU ASKED ME FOR. Maybe some how you know. I cannot wait to see you again and run to your open arms to welcome me home with Jesus. I send you my love on angels wings and watch for me when my time comes.

I love you and Ken and Kendall send their love.

October 9, 2006

"If tomorrow starts without me,And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say. I know how much you love me,As much as I love you, And each time that you think of me,I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,Please try understand, that an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand, And said my place was ready,In heaven far above,And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,A tear fell from my eye,For all my life, I'd always thought,I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,So much left yet to do,it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared, And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,Just even for a while,I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized, That this could never be,For emptiness and memories,would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly things,I might miss some tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me,From His great golden throne, He said, "This is eternity,And all I've promised you."Today your life on earth is past,but here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,and since each day is the same way,There's no longing for the past.

So when tomorrow starts without me,don't think we're far apart,For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart "

September 16, 2006

AT EASE SOLDIER!!!! Thank you for your service and your sacrifice. It is an honor to meet you albeit in absentia.

Colonel NRJ
United States Army
(a friend of your dad's)

Colonel NRJ
United States Army

September 5, 2006

Dear Brian,

I love you so much! I miss you everyday of my life. I always think about you. There is never a moment where something around me doesn't remind me of you. It seems like you were just here yesterday. Today I looked at a lot of pictures with my boyfriend. Yall would have gotten along SO well! Yall liked a lot of the same things. I looked at pictures of me and you, and some of the wreck. It is so hard to look at the ones of the car. When that first happened, I wasn't allowed to go with Mom and Dad to see the car, but that was understandable. I don't know how I would have handled it. I feel like you are still here at times. I just can't believe you are gone, but you are in a MUCH better place! I thank God above for that. I can't wait to walk through those pearly gates and see you! I miss you so much, and you will always be remembered! I'll make sure of it!

I love you always, xoxo,
Your Baby Sister

Your Baby Sister

August 12, 2006