Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Bob,
I did not know you but I feel the pain still today.It has been almost two years and it has not gotten any easier to listen to the stories that people tell about you.You were obviously a great person and cared very deeply for your friends and family.I think about Michelle and the children often and hope that things are good for them. Please keep all of us in your sight as we walk out that door everyday and carry on doing what you loved to do for the City of St. Louis. God bless you Michelle and may God keep you always.

Fellow City Officer

hey bob! I've been having a bad week and almost picked up the phone to call you & see how you're doing before I remembered I couldnt talk to you and it all hit home all over again. It is so hard to even accept/admit you're gone for good- too hard really. I love you and miss you more than i can say.

Anonymous

hey bobby. I've been thinking about you lately. everything is going pretty good here. we all miss you and love you!

Anonymous

Hey Bob,
I've been thinking alot about you the past few days. I still can't believe your're not here. We watched on T.V. as two Firefighters were killed in the line of duty, every time a news update came on television it felt like that August day. It's still so hard to go about our lives as if everything is the same. As time goes by, things change, but we never forget you or what you still mean to us all.
We love you.

Anonymous

Bob,

I did not know you, but I was there to say good bye. The city of St. Louis really showed what we are made of that afternoon. As I was driving to your final resting place, I could feel the pride swell up as I passed all the people on the streets who took the time out of their day to say good bye as well. You are a true HERO in the minds of all officers in the area.

Anonymous

The sun beat down on that August morning,
When we buried my friend who had been shot and died.
Thousands lined the streets waving flags and banners
To somehow try to help us say goodbye.

But he was just one man - he was a father,
Typical everyday hero that gets passed by.
How could one man move the hearts of countless strangers?
But now I realize that it's through them....
That he says....
"Hey I'm alive....
And everything will be just fine...."

It must be a long lost friend.
Must be a higher spirit
Deep within the wind.
I can hear his voice,
so welcome back my friend.
Now you're a higher spirit.
Teach me how to fly.
I've made the choice.

It must be our long lost friend.
Must be a higher spirit
when his babies cry.
We can hear his voice,
so welcome back, our friend.
Now you're a higher spirit
Teach us how to fly.
We've made the choice.

"Michelle, Been trying to write something about Bob's legacy in light of the fact that he felt so frustrated about his job and maybe life last year....wishing, hoping that he now sees that he not only had a purpose, but a great effect on so many. And if Bob's death can change his little part of the world so profoundly, then imagine what any of us can do if we try while we're still here....That would be the best way to honor him perhaps. Steve

P.S. It's not nearly done - but what ever is? But running it by you"

Steven J. Ponath
11/01/68 - 02/08/02
written 8-9-01

Michelle Stanze

Thank You!

Anonymous

Dear Uncle Bob,
I miss you very much. I miss the way you used to give me air plane rids. Wil misses you to. So does AuntMichelle.WE
love to go by your grave. Wil always says that his daddy
is in heaven. Aunt Debbie, mommy,Uncle Mike and grandmom misses you also. And daddy, granddad too. I miss theway you took me to MicDanolds.
LOVE, ALEX D'AGOSTINO

Alex D'Agostino

I sit here and try to make myself think about the loss I suffered on August 8, 2000 and I realize it is almost impossible to put my feelings into words. I do know that day my life changed forever. I never could have imagined the pain I felt (and still feel) or just how hard it could be to lose someone so important to me. I hope you know if I could I would have traded places with you and never thought twice about it. I would have done anything to protect you and I know you would have done the same for me. I look at our family now, almost 1 1/2 years later, and still see how this tragedy has affected us. Our family will never be the same without you. I miss you so much and I pray you know how much I cared about you. I will always love you.

Anonymous

Today you received yet another Medal of Valor. Although it should be an honor for your family, it is also another sad reminder that you're gone. It is also hard for Officer Dodge. Please continue to watch over him. He still needs you. If only you two could have been there together today proudly wearing the medals on your chest and grins on your faces. The world cannot possibly know what it lost, when it lost you. In Valor there is hope....

Anonymous

It seems like it only gets harder to accept that you are gone, as another day separates us bob. Watching you on video should help, but it only makes it more real that you are really gone & will never be making one of your sarcastic and sooo funny remarks. Besides being one of the kindest people I know, it was so nice to know you care - really cared about the people you loved and didnt mind letting them or anyone else know. I will miss you for the rest of my life, but can at least find some comfort in watching your kids grow up- although the twins won't know you and wil won't remember running into your arms. I love you and miss you. I wish others could know what a special and fun guy you were. St. Louis lost a wonderful police officer and your family lost an incredible brother, uncle, cousin, husband and dad.

Anonymous

My Prayers go out to The Family of Police Officer Robert J. Stanze II, He gave the ultimate sacrifice for a job he truely loved. God Bless

Patrolman Gary Crain
Brighton Illinois Police Department

Bob,

We've all moved on with our lives, because that is what we have to do, but we still miss you just as much as we did a year ago today, perhaps even a little more. I hope that you will be near us on this difficult day, and that somehow you will let us know that you are near. If only we could go back in time and relive those last few days...make the most of the wasted time, show our appreciation for you a little more, or just hear that laugh one more time. Your memory will live on forever, but that will never quite be enough to erase the pain that losing you has caused. The void you left will never be filled. You were more than one in a million. You were a once in a lifetime kind of guy.

Anonymous

"If tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane,

I would walk right up to heaven to bring you home again.

No farewell words was spoken, No time to say goodbye,

You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why.

My heart still aches in sadness, and secret tears still flow.

What it means to lose you, no one will ever know." (From stairway to heaven)
WE ALL LOVE AND MISS YOU BOO-BEAR.

Anonymous

Dear Bobby,

On the 4th of July as I watched Michelle holding Holly, looking down at John and comforting Wil (who was a little nervous about his first Stanze fireworks display), I felt once again, such an overwhelming sense of loss for them all, for us all.

I know you were always proud of Michelle, but now, you would be so incredibly proud of her. She is amazing with the kids…she has her hands more than full, but she is doing a fantastic job!

Over this past year many times I've looked at pictures of you and smiled, laughed and cried…so many memories. I remember you as a 13 year old little boy who worried that girls wouldn't like you and that "big" serious question you wanted to ask me one day, which turned out to be "Are my ears too big?" When I smiled and told you how cute you were, you said, "You're just saying that because you're my Stepmom and you love me". You were right, in part, I loved you with all my heart, but I also did think you were the most lovable, darling boy in the whole world.

I remember going to your softball games and picking you and Mike up in a little sports car as you piled your bags in the back and had to lay down to fit in the car, seeing you move from waiting at the front door for me to come home from work, to seeing you at the mailbox, then at the top of the street, then the top of the subdivision. I was so thrilled that you were as excited to see me as I was to see you.

I watched you grow from that sweet little boy, into such a warm, loving, caring young man. I remember sending you care packages at college and you sending such great letters back…to this day I'm amazed that a boy in college would have taken the time to do that…,but you always took time. Just like the time you drove out to the house to drop off a birthday present for me in a snow storm. When I called to tell you how crazy you were to drive in that weather and that you should have waited, you said "But then it wouldn't have been your birthday." Oh, the times you made me cry…
how very, very special you were.

Watching you and your Dad together was incredible…I remember standing in the kitchen hearing the two of you laugh so hard, that I would start laughing too and then you coming in, putting your arm around me and saying "That guy just kills me". He misses you so much Bobby, we all do. Things will never be the same and yet I know you would want us all to go on "living". We are trying, for you,…but what we would give to pick up the phone and hear you say just one more time, "Hey liver lips it's Bob, just calling to see what you guys are up to". We miss your laughter, your sense of humor, your smile… the way you always seemed to make everything better.

I know I probably didn't tell you enough how special you were to me. I hope you knew. I feel so blessed that you were a part of my life. I know for certain you're in Heaven keeping watch over all of us, so know now through my thoughts and prayers, that you always did and always will hold a special place in my heart Bobby and just how very much you were loved!

Chris

Bobbie,
i never imagined that something like this could happen to our family. I never imagined that you would'nt be here for me to talk to or just to joke aorund with. You were one of the coolest people i knew and it's so hard not havin you around anymore. But i do know that you are watching over the whole family up there and you are still with us in our hearts. We love you sooo much and miss you!

Kate, Cousin

Bobbie,
I hope you realized how special you were to so many people. You were only 6 years old when I started dating your Uncle. I remember attending your baseball games, taking You and Mike to McDonald's for "Happy Meals" with a soda, when your parents always made you get milk. I'll never forget the summer you and Mike painted our house. It would have been cheaper for us to hire a painter, with as much food as you 2 ate! We will never forget the Chrismas Eve's with all the "Stanze Boys" reciting the lines from "It's A Wonderful Life". Oh to have those days back again. Bob, we watched you graduate from High School, Marry Michelle and start a wonderful family of your own. You were taken way to young. But Bob, you had a very special circle of friends. They are taking good care of MIchelle, Wil, John & Holly. We have been Blessed to get to know them. We know you are with us every day as our Guardian Angle, but you are missed.

Anonymous

Just a note to say that, Bobbie, I will always love you and remember you. Although we were not in town much, you brought great pleasure to our hearts when we were near. You would be sooooo proud of your family.....you have a little boy who loves you dearly, and twins that will grow up knowing what an AWESOME guy you were. You would be proud of the stories Michelle tells Will, knowing he will keep you in his heart. Last night was 4th of July at your Dad's. We were on the blanket watching the fireworks go "up". Michelle made a special point of telling Will that "Daddy was looking "down" on the fireworks, and she assured him that you weren't missing anything. Will knows that you live in Heaven, as we all do...I just wish that when my turn is to come, you will welcome me with open arms, as you have Danny and those ahead of me. I love you Bob. xoxo Aunt Carol!

carol stanze
aunt

Sometimes families are not just the ones you are born into. That is the case for me and my husband Mark. We have our close families we are blessed to be born with and we also are so blessed to have our family of friends.

Bob and Michelle are and always will be a part of that family. Our lives have been entangled for so many years. The four of us started to become so close through our husbands--brothers at heart--Mark and Bob. If there was ever an Abbott and Costello of the 90's it would be them. Every adventure they'd share brought so much laughter to everyone around them. Me and Michelle would just sit around and watch them, in the later days, so annoyed with them and their inside jokes, but deep down laughing just as loud.

The four of us shared so much. We talked about things so meaningless like the latest hockey trade, the advantage of the Cardinals having such a power player as John Mabry, what was on McDonalds menu, and sometimes (alot of times) we would sit in our living room, on our blue couches, watching the ball-game, and talk for hours about anything and everything. And when I was pregnant with our daughter, and scared because of bad test results, it was the Stanze's who were one of the first to call. On that Halloween, I went to visit Bob and Michelle, and lean on them, as I opened the door, who is there but my favorite Cardinal, John Mabry, well, at least Bob dressed up like him trying to cheer me up, which he did, like they always did.

We also shared the greatest joys in our lives--the birth of our children, Molly and Wil. Michelle and I were a month apart in due dates, but somehow managed to have our babies on the same day, hours apart. I can remember laying in the recovery room, Mark and Bob exchanging Pages and calls, checking up on each other hourly. The next day, bright and early, Mark left my bedside to be with Bob and Michelle and their beautiful boy Wil. Some would find that odd, but not us. That is how the four of us were. CLOSE.

As our children grew that first year of their lives, so did our friendship. If it were possible for it to be stronger then it was. We packed up our kids and met at our favorite restaurants, usually Biggie's. Then we'd head back to one of our home's so the guys could watch a movie and the girls could watch the kids.

Then, exactly one week before Bob was killed, they came over our house for dinner. The kids played, and the four of us talked, like we always did. They worried about money and the cost of raising three children on a cops salary. They joked about having to have to eat dinner at our house at least once a week to survive. We agreed, not jokingly, but serious to assure them that we would be here for them always.

Then a week later it was over. This past year has been the worst imaginable, but the worst is knowing that it is not over. That every day we will remember what we have lost--our hero, our friend, our uncle, our brother at heart, our John Mabry. Michelle told me that Bob was not a hero just because he was a police officer who was killed, you are right. He was a Hero and will always be because of who He was, when he was wearing the uniform and when he was not. Bob was a gift to us all and will never be forgotten. I know this is true every time I look into Timmy's eyes and see the sadness. But, I also see what Bob has given all of us--our special friendship. So maybe it is not the four of us here on earth, but it will always be in our hearts.

Bob, I hope you know how much you mean to us. Now, as we try to expand our family, I will miss your nags about eating right, and all your "brotherly" concern, but I know you're watching over us.

I hope everyone who reads this knows what a great MAN Bob was, not just because of the badge he wore. The badge was great because of the MAN he was.

As my daughter would say, " 'night. 'night Bob, luv ya!"

Lisa

Lisa

Bob,

Sunday was another event you could not be at, your twins Baptism. All of your family and friends came, to show their love for you, Michelle, Wil, John and Holly. Everyone had smiles on their faces and laughed at old jokes, but everyone was thinking the same thing in their mind, "Bob should be here."

We could all picture you so proud, holding both babies, or chasing after Wil as he explored everything around him. It is these times that are so hard. Every other day we can just pretend you're on nights, but we know if you were still with us you would NEVER miss something for your family.

It seems we all talk to you alot these days, looking for guidance. I know you're up there watching us, laughing with us at all of the new stories that have happened since you were taken from us.

Our group has expanded to people we would have never met before your death. I guess that's your way of helping all of us too.

When we are all finally reunited we will have a great laugh and share old times.

Miss you,
"Budge"

Anonymous