Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

It was good to see everyone at your mass yesterday. I can't believe it's been five years. Five years that should have not have any significance whatsoever. God Bless you.

Jenn Jackson

August 9, 2005

Please forgive my error. I meant to write 'another anniversary' not 'the one year anniversary' of Officer Stanze's death in my recent reflection. I know that one year, two, five years...the pain will not fade. But nor will your love for him.

Howard's sister.

August 9, 2005

I share your grief and pain as you mourn the loss of your beloved Officer Stanze. Please find some comfort in knowing that many are thinking of you as you have just passed the one year anniversary of his death. My heart breaks for you and I am “holding your hand” and you walk this path. Unfortunately, we must walk it together. Our lives have been forever altered, but remember that he will always live in your heart, and he will always be safe there. I am so sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,
Sister of Howard Stevenson, EOW 1/9/05

August 9, 2005

Tonight we got to be with the people we were with that night. This helps us so much. It's nice to be around all these people who feel the same way. I hope you visit the guys tonight and your family, they really need you.

August 8, 2005

We are thinking of you today!!! We wish we could turn the clock backwards for all of you. He was a very special person and will always be remembered!!God bless all of you.

August 8, 2005

Bob, had this day come and anyone of us would have known what was going to happen, many would have stepped in to take your place. We miss you and love you. You brought laughter to so many people.....

August 8, 2005

I want to send my prayers to the family of Officer Stanze. It has been 5 long years that you all have had without him here with you, and I know you all miss him so much. I wish there was something I could do to make this day and all the other days a little easier, but I know that is not possible. You just have to continue being strong. Just know that you have so many people thinking of you and supporting you every day. I go by Officer Stanze's grave on my way to visit Nick, and I always stop by for a minute to pay my respects and tell him that he is greatly appreciated. You will all be in my thoughts today.

Tracie
Friend of Officer Nick Sloan

August 8, 2005

Five long years and I still can't go an hour without you on my mind. I can't figure out how I got through the first five minutes, let alone these past five years. I know you're still "with me", but it isn't enough. I can never forget the hollowness I felt when you were taken from us, and the ache in my heart when you couldn't be here when Holly and John came into the world. That ache will never go away, espicially now when they watch your video, and ask where the pictures and video of them are. My heart breaks for them as the realization is setting in of what they are missing. It's so unfair.

Sometimes I like to imagine that this is all like on TV, and that you are in witness protection, and will come home to me someday...but the thought that you would be out there somewhere, and I couldn't be with you is really not all that much more comforting. At least if this were the case, you wouldn't have had to suffer, even for a second.

Five years ago seems so long ago, but then in the next moment it seems like only yesterday. There are so many things I miss about you, and so many memories I treasure....Bailey Brothers, Country Music and Cowboy Boots, Our Hockey Game, baseball hats and beer steins, the "Freeze Out", dinner's at Tumo's, Uno, 2am and Rec. Days, 3 kisses, heart cookies, Griswald light displays, giant pumpkins, Christmas Carols and Christmas Movies, the boat and the Blazer, Ack, Busch Beer, One West Waikiki and The Newlywed Game, Picking out Pepper, Our trip to Sicily, Our trips to CO, Mexico....especially the dinner cruise (ha ha), your crooked grin and witty remarks, your unconditional love, and your arms around me...keeping me safe, the look on your face the first time you laid eyes on Wil and the look on your face when we saw two heartbeats...

I'll be waiting for you under the tree. Until we meet again....Every light in the house is on....
Love Me

August 7, 2005

To the Stanze Family,
Please know that we will be thinking of you tomorrow and praying for you. I just wish that this would stop and everyone would respect officers. My biggest wish is that no other family has to go through this.

Kelly
Nick Sloan's sister

August 7, 2005

Bob,
Tomorrow is your day. I can't believe it's been 5 years. We are so blessed to have you and your family in our lives. Even though Molly doesn't really remember you and Lilly never got to meet you, they talk about their "Uncle Bob" all the time. I wish you could be with us tomorrow, the guys sure would love a visit from everyone's best friend.

August 7, 2005

Five years ago today it was still okay and in a few short hours it was over...

August 7, 2005

5 years, I can't believe it's gone by so quick and yet seems like forever. This year seems harder than last year for some reason. I love you and miss you Bob.

August 7, 2005

Over the past five painful years...

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that five years seems like an eternity without your smile, laugh and goofy jokes.

I've learned that without you Bobby, our family is never, ever going to be the same again.

We love you, miss you and think about you every single day! Please continue to watch over all of us.

God Bless You...

August 6, 2005

Just letting you all know that I am thinking of all of you during this difficult time. Officer Stanze will never be forgotten. God Bless all of you!!!!!!!
A officers sister

August 2, 2005

Hard to believe this time five years ago everything was fine and then in a few days our world was turned upside down and has never been the same---and never will be. I hate this time of year!

August 1, 2005

Bob I could really use a visit. Things have been kind of difficult for me lately and I could use someone to talk to. I always thought you would be here to listen to me and "help" me with my many issues. I always knew I could trust you and whatever I said stayed between me and you. I know you are still watching over me and everyone else but it just isn't the same. We need you here---I need you here. This isn't the way it was suppose to be. I love Mike dearly but believe it or not he just isn't a talker and according to him he has more issues than me---God help him :) I know I probably told you more than you ever wanted to hear and put more on your shoulders than you deserved to carry but you never complained--at least not seriously. I don't know why God would take you. So many people need you. You were the strong one.

July 26, 2005

Bob,
Thank you so much for always helping me with the difficult decisions in my life. You always come through when I need it most.

The kids wanted me to thank you for sending them their little brother Kyle. They know that you and Pizza Steve helped God pick out just the right baby for them. It helps them knowing that you are always up there looking out for them. I know Mark is thankful too, for having the opportunity to be a part of Wil, Holly, and John's lives. Sometimes he feels guilty that it's him instead of you, but I assured him that you appreciate everything he does for them.

Kyle has brought us a lot of joy, but this time of year is still so hard. I miss you as much today as I did on August 8th, 2000. Tell Steve I miss him too, and thank him for me as well. I love you and miss you.

Michelle Stanze

July 25, 2005

Bob, you would be proud of Michelle. She has defended your name again. She is able to speak for us all and she does it so well. It kills me to hear people defend cop killers and I am greatful we have Michelle to put our feelings into words! Monday is going to be a hard day for the family please watch over us and help us get through the day.

July 22, 2005

To the family and friends of Officer Bob Stanze:
I wanted to send you my sympathy for the loss you sustained when your loved one was taken from you on 8/8/2000. He is not forgotten. He paid the ultimate price for protecting his community and he will forever have the gratitude and appreciation of those he safeguarded. My heart breaks for his absence as the head of his little family. It is inspiring to know that his friends have not forgotten him, and that they soldier on for him and try to help his family in their journey. It is vital that his friends help his children remember the brave man their father was and that he will always be spritually with them. My son, Larry Lasater of the Pittsburg Police Dept was shot on April 23rd this year. He and his beloved wife Joann were expecting their first child when Larry was so cruelly taken from us. He did not live to see Cody born on 7/11/05, but we know that he will always be Cody's guardian angel. I know Bob is his wife and three children's guardian angel, but missing the physical presence is a pain that cannot be denied or minimized. Bob's wife and Larry's wife both had to endure the agony of giving birth without their beloved husband beside them to hold their hand and hold the babies the first time together. May God watch over all of you now and forever. May Bob's anniversary date (also Michael Gordon's date) be remembered and honored as their birthday in heaven.
My thoughts and prayers are sent to all of you with the utmost respect for the supreme sacrifice you all have given.
Phyllis Loya
Mother of fallen officer Larry Lasater, Pittsburg P.D, Pittsburg, CA

Phyllis Loya, Mother of fallen officer

July 18, 2005

Stanze Family,

I know the date of August 8th is fast approaching, a day that I also do not look forward too because that is when our son, Michael, was also killed in the line of duty in 2004. Michael was 30 years old with 4 children, his youngest was 6 months old when he was killed. I spent 30 years of my life in law enforcement and two of my 3 sons followed me in my career. All the memorials I attended during my career and the walls that I visited, I never dreamed I would someday be visiting them with my youngest son, my baby, with his name on those walls. I wanted to leave a reflection to say that Bob Stanze has not been forgotten and his memory will live on in many hearts and his family and close friends will tell his children, as I do, that their father is a true Hero. Losing a child is the most devastating thing that can happen to a parent, my only solace is that Michael loved being a police officer and he died while doing one of his life long dreams, being a cop. God be with all of you and I will remember Robert as I will Michael on August 8th.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Robert Gordon, Asst. Chief, Retired
Riverside PD, Illinois

July 17, 2005

Dearest Family members of Officer Stanze:

I check my brother's reflections nearly daily to find strength and hope during this bleak time. I am endlessly moved by the loving sentiments left for our beloved fallen officers. The words of support, understanding, and sympathy expressed by those who are too familiar themselves with the pain and loss never cease to amaze and empower me and my family. I send my prayers of love and support to you, and wish to thank you for leaving a beautiful message to my brother and us his family and friends. May you find peace in knowing that indeed we are all one big connected family and someone in California is grateful that you had Officer Stanze for the time you did. Perhaps he and Howard are friends in Heaven as they were brothers down here.

Sister of Howard Stevenson
EOW January 9, 2005

July 17, 2005

Five years and the pain and emptiness we feel seems just as strong as it was the day we learned we lost you...Everyone seems to be struglling in their own way with so many things, on top of the loss of you, Danny and your Uncle Stu...please say a prayer for all of us and especially help your Aunt Carol and Doug through what will be a very difficult couple of weeks. Help us all over the next few months and please ask God to protect Mike. We love you and miss you so very much....Give everyone a hug!

July 16, 2005

It's obvious by the lasr reflection, that everyone is feeling the same way. It seems like that August day again. Has it really been five years already? Five years since we saw your silly grin. Five years since we heard your laugh at something Wil mastered. Five years since we didn't have this pain and emptiness in our hearts. So many times we have all wished to go back and change one second of that day, so the end result would have been altered. We still struggle with the reality of it. There really is no way to understand why any of this happens. We will never forget you or stop missing you. We will never stop wondering how life would have been for all of us. How Holly would have had you wrapped around her finger. How John would have made you laugh everyday. How Wil would have made you so proud of his baseball abilities. How would you have changed? You will alwats be a 29 year old in our minds, even when we are all old and grey. We lost so much that day, we lost what we were all supposed to have, YOU with us for years to come. On the 8th we will think of you like we do everyday. It would be nice if you came and visited us that day. We would love to hear, one more time, ..."how about another one?"

July 13, 2005

With the recent murder of another officer it brings it all back. This is such a bad time of year anyway. Sometimes I am become so overwhelmed by emotions it feels like I can't breath. It is so hard to believe it has been almost five years since you were taken from us. I miss you and all the trouble you gave me. I miss your smiling face and how you always made me laugh. I miss how you use to "pet" Mom on the head when she was upset and then make her laugh. I miss how you always tried to get me to change jobs. I miss how you would smile when you were around Wil or any child for that matter. I miss hearing you sing the Barney song---I never thought I would say that. I miss how I could always count on you no matter what. I miss giving you trouble about not helping me paint Mom's house until the very last day or hitting my car or the incident with the snow shovel. But most of all, I just miss you.....

July 13, 2005

i hope you helped greet the kirkwood police officer who just lost his life. this is very sad, and i want it to come to an end. i wish you could understand how much everyone still hurts from your loss. why couldn't things have been different??? i look up to your wife and kids, but i have never met them. thank you for serving our community and doing what you loved the most.

i know you wish things could have been different with this johnson kid. i sure do wish they could have been.. he should have been gone before he had the chance to surrender. take care and continue helping your family!!!

July 12, 2005