Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I miss you more than words could ever convey.

Love,
M

Anonymous

April 25, 2009

I found ODMP about 6 month ago, and my routine was to check the history and then check the states close to mine. On 01/15/08 I was checking the history when I saw a name that raised the hairs on the back of my neck and that was Troooper Beal. I told myself that it could not be, but when I clicked on the sight I was staring again in the young troopers face again.
It was late 1999 and I was with my department for about 10 years, and I was in Indiana visiting a few friends of mine. The last day I was there they decied to go out and I was the D driver since I was driving home the next day. On the way home they were so drunk I was speeding just to get them out of my car when I saw the flashing lights in my mirror. During my academy I was taught during officer safety to roll down my window and place my arms over the steering wheel top, so this is what I did while I was arguing with my fiends. The Trooper made his way to my window and when I looked towards him I was looking into the face of a young Trooper, and my first thoughts were " My god a young trooper just my luck and he is probably going for trooper of the year" He told me that I was doing 20 over the speed limit and he needed to see my drivers license. i told him that he was probavly correct. he then asked me for my drivers license. I handed him that and he headed back towards his car. A few minutes later he reappeard at my window and adked me to step from the vehicle, so I stepped to the rear of my car. Thje Trooper asked me if I had been drinking which I thought I thought he would and I said no. He made me do a field sobiety test which I passed. He then looked again at my drivers license and asked me what department I was with, I starred at him for a second then answered him. I asked him how he knew and he said that the first clue was the way I was sitting when he first approached my car, which he had seen during his training, and the second he saw my off duty badge when I got my drivers license out. We both laughed and shook hands and i appoligized about my friends. We both left as friends that day and when I got back yto work I changed my FTO program. I made them tell me what they saw in the car and around and the driver. It saved a few lives.
That day I saw dedication, understanding and compassion from and officer that took his time to understand. I try to teach that with my new officers.
To Emily
Your husband was a man of integrity, but after we got to know each other that night he told me that he was going to be a father and he was the proudest man alive. After reading your reflections I am glad that you are taking Jason with you, because I would if not you. Please make sure that Cody knows his dad and let him know what kind of a mam he was. His handshake stood for sincerity, and his smile helped me through hell.
You will always be in my prayers, and belive me you will never be forgotten

Mark

January 17, 2009

My, oh, My. These reflections from his former wife and his Mom and Dad are
amazing. I am sooo sad that you had to experience this deepest heartache,
but am happy that you know that God has a plan, Jesus died to make all thingsnew and good, and that you have the assurance of being together again. I don't know you, but after reading these messages, you have a special place in my heart and I know Jason is sooo proud of you for overcoming! May God continue to richly bless you and surround you with His love.
Lynn Kole
Bellingham, WA

Anonymous

January 15, 2009

Rest in peace brother, gone but not forgotten.....

Sergeant Chris DiToro
NYPD

January 15, 2009

J,

It's hard to believe that it's been 9 years now since you left us. There are times when I am more at peace with it than others. I have a good life now. I am happy, but I can't help but wonder where we would have been today had the accident not happened. I know you would have been soooo proud of our son! Cody is a wonderful boy! How many other kids would we have had? What kind of house would we be living in? Where would we be living? What would my career be? These are all questions I have, but will never have any answers to. Our life together ended way too soon.

I am moving on with my life. I have kept the promise of learning to live again and I am happy. I wish that I never had to keep that promise to you.

Only other spouses who are living a similar life can understand when I say that I am happy where I am now, but I long for what could have been.

You are always in my heart!
Love,
M

Anonymous

January 15, 2009

J,

I always miss you, but there are times when I miss you even more than others. Right now is one of those times. I've received signs that you are watching over us, but right now is when I could use one of your hugs. I hope that you have welcomed Grandma home and you are taking care of her.

I love you!
M

Anonymous

October 27, 2008

J,

It has been awhile since I've write because the baby has taken up what extra time I used to have. His name is Liam and he was born 3/29/08. Cody loves him! And he's such a great big brother!!!! Dylan is also great with him. This boy is going to be so spoiled (and picked on) as he grows up!

C.O.P.S. Kids Camp is going on right now and Cody is missing it for the first time since we started going. I wanted to try to never miss a year for him, but Liam is just too young to leave right now. Cody hates missing camp, but he is okay with it since Liam is the reason why. I still wish I could have gotten him there, because I'm sure the counselors there could help him through any issues he may be going through because of having a new baby brother. Oh, but we did make it to NPW! Mom went with me and we took Liam. Cody did great with the C.O.P.S. Kids activities. His group leaders there even said that Cody has become a leader himself. They saw him talking to new survivors and comforting them and helping them "learn the ropes." I asked him about it and he shrugged it off like it was no big deal. He said something like "they didn't know what to do, but I've been there before so I did." One day he may notice how big of a deal that was, but probably not. They also gave me a pat on the back for raising him as well as I have thus far.

I had a dream about you not too long ago. When I woke up I couldn't remember the dream, but I remembered being with you. I remember the safe feeling you always gave me. I also woke up feeling very loved. Maybe it's because I just turned 30 and needed the love!!!! I wish I could go back to the 20 yr old that you married, but time can be cruel in that it only goes one way - forward.

It's time for me to catch some zzz's while I can. As always, I love you - always have - always will. Please keep watching over all of us. You hold a special place for all of us.

Love always,
Em

Anonymous

August 2, 2008

Jason,
I had the honor of meeting Emily and Cody a few weeks ago in D.C. as we honored Sgt. Henderson and all other officers and survivors. What an inspiration and a complete blessing she and your son were to us all. My husband is a police officer and I can only hope that I would be half of the woman and mother that she is, should I ever be in that situation. You will never be forgotten. Thank you for making the sacrifices that you did for all of us!

Megan Brinkman

June 2, 2008

J,

I have wanted to leave a reflection so many times this year, but I just haven't. I know you are watching me and know what we are going through, but writing it here makes it more final for me. Chris and I are expecting a baby in March. Wow, it seems like I am disrespecting or deceiving you in some way by writing that out. Although, I know that you are happy for us. Cody is so excited to be a big brother. I remember how you told me that you wanted to be a big brother so badly when you were little. Then you were blessed with a little sister. Then your 4 cousins came to live with you shortly after. I remember you saying be careful what you wish for, but I could see the smile in your eyes too. I know you wouldn't have changed it for the world.

I hope Cody enjoys his baby brother as much as you enjoyed all of your siblings.

I miss you daily. Chris knows that this isn't just his family, it's yours too and he's happy to share us with you. Sometimes I wish the two of you could have met, but then again, Chris is the kind of guy who never would have dated me had the two of you been friends (which is what I know what would have been if you had met).

Our son has grown into a beautiful, caring boy. He's 7 1/2 now. He still has your blue eyes and wonderful smile. He's getting an attitude though (is that from you or me???). His attitude isn't that bad though. I think he's learned mom's attitude is tougher than his......lol. You would be proud of the boy he is. He loves the outdoors and sports. His favorite is probably fishing though. Then would probably be basketball. I wonder if that will change much as he gets older.

Continue to watch and love him. He asks about you. He broke my heart this year when he told me that he wished he had just one memory of you that was all his own, instead of those that were told to him. I wish I could give that to him. I give him what I can.

We miss you and love you. The pain will never go away, but we are learning to deal with it. Our friends with C.O.P.S. help us!

I'll love you forever,
M

January 16, 2008

The Absent One

As we gather at the table and watch each smiling face
The heart fills with emotion to see the vacant place.
We may strive to hide our longing in the midst of
Mirth and fun
But we're thinking, thinking, thinking of the loved-
The Absent One.

When we gather 'round the fireside with merry
Laughter and jest
How we wish the absent dear one was here with
All the rest.
Still we join in all the frolic, but we wish the day was done
For we're thinking, thinking, thinking of the loved-
The Absent One.

Yet when the day is over and they all have gone to
Rest
We feel the Heavenly Father does all things for the
Best
So we cheer our drooping spirits with the rising
Of the sun
But we're thinking, thinking, thinking of the loved-
The Absent One. author unknown

I just read all the reflections left for Jason and these
really touched my heart. It is because of your faith in
the Lord Jesus that He has helped you to heal and
move forward with the hope that one day you will be
able to pick up where you left off. God bless you until
that day. It is closer than we think!

Lynn Kole
Bellingham, WA

January 15, 2008

I just wanted to thank you for your service, Sir.

January 15, 2008

Know that in spite of the passing years your family is in the thoughts and prayers of those who are serving and those who have completed their tour.

Master Trooper (retired)
Virginia State Police

January 15, 2008

On this 8 year anniversary of your EOW, we are thinking of you, your family and co-workers.

We can tell by the reflections that you are deeply missed and thought of daily. Keep watch over your Wife, Cody and your Parents as they are not alone still going through this grieving process.

Being in the State Of Illinois, I know many of those in your state that have helped your family and we too miss Gary, please say "Hi" to him from us. He has helped in many ways including riding with ILCOPS shortly before his death.

Thank you for your service and you will not be forgotten!

Craig Figgins
Brother - SGT Dan Figgins St Charles, IL EOW 4/9/05

January 15, 2008

"The Badge"

He starts his shift each day
To respond to calls unknown.
He drives a marked patrol car.
A police officer he is known.

He's paid by the citizens' taxes
To make it safe on the streets.
But he usually has a second job
'Cause a waitress has his salary beat.

Now he doesn't know a holiday
'Cause he works all year round.
And when Thanksgiving and Christmas finally arrive
At his home he cannot be found.

He's cursed and assaulted often,
The one whos blood runs blue.
He seldom ever gets a thanks,
To some he's just a fool.

His friends are always other cops
'Cause people just don't understand
That underneath his badge and gun,
He's just another man.

He knows there might not be a tomorrow
In this world of drugs and crime.
And he gets so mad at the court system
'Cause the crooks don't get any time.

And each day when he leaves for work,
He prays to God above.
Please bring me home after my shift
So I can see the ones I love.

But tonight he stops a speeding car,
He's alone down this ole' highway.
It's just a little traffic infraction.
He does it everyday.

Well, he walks up to the driver's window,
And his badge is shining bright.
He asked the guy for a driver's license,
When a shot rang through the night.

Yes, the bullet hit its mark,
Striking the officer in the chest.
But the Department's budget didn't buy
Each officer a bullet-proof vest.

So he lay on the ground bleeding.
His blood wasn't blue - His blood was red.
And briefly he thought of his loved ones
'Cause in a moment the officer was dead.

In the news they told the story
Of how this officer had died.
And some who listened cared less,
But those who loved him cried.

Well, they buried him in uniform
With his badge pinned on his chest.
He even had his revolver,
He died doing his best.

Written By:
David L. Bell
Sergeant
Richland County Sheriff's Department
Columbia, South Carolina
Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 1999 - All Rights Reserved
and may not be duplicated without permission

Investigator David L Bell
Richland County Sheriff's Dept., Columbia, SC

January 9, 2008

YOU ARE REMEMBERED TODAY AND THANK YOU SIR FOR YOUR SERVICE

VANDENBERGHE
MANCHESTER, NH

January 5, 2008

Jason was one of the finest men I've known. He was very careful not to hurt anyone feeling. I'll never forget you.

Spencer Hamner

Spencer Hamner

December 11, 2007

Jason--
You'd be proud of your son. He is your "spirit and image." What a privilege it has been to be a part of his life through COPS Kids Camp.

Years ago during National Police Week, I met one of your family members at the National Memorial. In my effort to comfort them and talk about your life, they gave me a picture. It's still in my wallet to this day. Little did I know that one day I'd meet your son and have the opportunity to make a difference in his life. Watch over us; guide me in ways to help him and Em the best I can.

Well served, peace officer; rest in peace.

Miss Mary
Cody's favorite Craft Lady

August 12, 2007

Wow, it's hard finding the words to say after reading these reflections. I was in tears the whole time I was reading. Jason sounded like an amazing man who was loved by so many people. Being a wife of a police officer, I couldn't imagine going through this. I am very sorry this happened to this family. Emily, you are such a strong person. I am just amazed. I wish you all the luck in the world, you deserve it. Mom and Dad, you raised a hero. Jason was a lucky guy :) Reading everything ya'll wrote had opened my eyes to how quickly life can change. Your in my thoughts. God Bless.

CF
Wife of a Police Officer

July 12, 2007

Son,

I know I just left you a message but I forgot the most important part:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN!!!!

I know you're ageless up there but it's still your birthday down here.

Love,
Mom and Dad

Marion & Gene Beal
Parents

January 16, 2007

Son,

Yesterday was the 7th anniversary and it still feels like it happened just yesterday. You'd be 32 today but now you're ageless somewhere above watching over all of us. We're all doing OK down here. Would be better if you were still here. Still miss that beautiful smile and hearing that laugh. A vacancy still lingers at family get-togethers but guess there always will. Still talk to you daily, someday will talk to you face-to-face. Em and Cody are doing fine. You know she's remarried. Chris is a super guy, know you'd like him. The day they were married we had a few light sprinkles. Figured that they were tears of happiness from you to let us know it was all right, that Em was going ahead with her life like you wanted her to. Chris is trying to do right by your memory for Em and Cody and doing a pretty good job of it. He even asked for our permission to marry Em. That really impressed us, we knew everything would be OK. He has a son, Dylan, who's 3 weeks younger that Cody and with the two of them Em has her hands full sometimes. We love them all and we know you're watching over them.

Don't know why but yesterday seemed like it hurt more than it usually does. Em said that 1,2,5,and 7 are the worst years, guess she's right. She's having a rough time of it too. I tried to keep busy so I wouldn't start crying. It worked yesterday, but I don't think it is today. As I write this reflection I'm fighting the tears. I know it's not what you want of me or Dad but we're your parents, we're weren't supposed to bury you, you were supposed to bury us. Something's just not right with this picture but it's what God wanted. We'll just have to learn to cope with it. Someday we'll see you're face again but until then you'll always be on our minds and in our hearts. Miss you dearly, love you dearly, our dear precious son. Until the time comes when we see you again, please keep us all safe from harm. Watch over your brothers in Law Enforcement too. They need a guardian angel on their shoulder too. See you in heaven someday soon.

Love,
Mom & Dad

Marion & Gene Beal
Parents

January 16, 2007

May Our Lord shower your loved ones with blessings and may you rest in peace.

January 15, 2007

Jason,

I don't remember when I left my last reflection. I know it's been a long time. I am writing this at 11:50p on 1/12 - exactly 7 years from when you were hit. For some reason this year is hitting me very hard. I feel this huge weight on my chest. I have been on the verge of tears (if not crying) all day. One might think that after 7 years that I might have this anniversary thing down, but losing you has never and will never be easy. Tonight I went through some of your old things. I've been keeping them so when Cody gets older he can go through them and maybe feel closer to you somehow. I took out your old basketball jersey. Cody put it on and was swimming in it! He's 6 now, just lost his first tooth 2 weeks ago. He told me how he misses you too even though he didn't meet you. Then he started talking about going to COPS kids camp. Chris is doing his best to help me get through today. He's currently sleeping - a luxury I don't seem to get much of anymore. I don't know how he puts up with me some days - I'm guessing maybe you send him some of your secrets somehow.

I think that one of the reasons this year is so difficult is because we lost Gary this year. When you died I told myself I would never take anyone in my life for granted again. Gary was such a strong presence that I took for granted he would always be here to help me and Cody. I know that now you are helping him with his new beat. I haven't even began to process those emotions yet.

I apologize for not writing for so long, but then again life was keeping me busy and for the most part I am doing well. Then there are times like now when I get blown over with emotions again. I know I am not alone in getting through this. I know you are with me along with many friends and family here. My life continues and I promise to make you proud, but in doing so I will always love and miss you.

Take care of Gary. He always took care of your family.

Love ya,
Em

January 12, 2007

Trooper Beal,

Thank you for your service. Please watch over all the men and women in uniform.

Deputy David Henderson 16-10
Decatur County Sheriff's Department

January 11, 2007

Emily,

This is my first time reading your husbands reflections. I started to tear up when I read the one you wrote to your husband where you were glad that you both talked about what he wanted for you in case something happened to him. Two weeks before my husband was killed, he and I actually had the same kind of conversation. I swear my husband always knew something was going to happen to him because he would always say out of the blue that if he was killed in the line of duty that I would be okay, but he would never elaborate. Two weeks before he was killed, he came home from attending allied agency fallen Officer Brian Winder's funeral and he started with the remarks again. I finally had enough and told him we were going to talk about why he always said what he said in depth. I never would have expected to actually use all of the information I received that evening, but it was piece of mind in knowing what his wishes were for me and that he knew what my wishes were for him should I have been taken away first.

Congratulations on being able to move forward in life and continue to heal. Do what makes you happy because happiness is what you deserve. I have been in the company of so many who were still stuck many years later and it scared me. I always keep in mind what my husband wanted for me and that is what makes me continue to move forward in life. And I know that I am not alone on my journey. I am able to move forward with his spiritual presence and guidance when I need it.

Merry Christmas too you and your family. May Eric continue to keep watch over all of you from above.

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Duke Aaron, III (EOW 07/20/04)

December 21, 2006

Dear Jason,

I stopped into the ODMP today, as usual, to check the ever growing list of our fallen brothers and sisters. It has been almost six years since you left us, and almost six years since I left my last reflection for you. I'm sure all is well on those golden streets of heaven.

I want you to know that I have never forgotten you and your family. Over these past years, Emily has been kind enough to share he life with us on the ODMP. I check you page often, just to see how she and Cody are doing. I know that you are very happy for her and very proud of the way she has pressed on with her life. She's an amazing woman!

My law enforcement career is progressing quickly. I have been transferred to the traffic unit and am now riding a motor at night. I sure could use an extra pair of eyes out there. Please do me a favor and watch my back for me. We've lost two motors in Arizona this year. Would you mind saying hello to them?

Thats all for now. I will check on you again soon my friend.

Motor Officer Jody McInnis
Mesa Police Department, AZ

December 6, 2006