Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

I miss you so much I feel sick inside. My heart still aches for you. I still feel that pain in the pit of my stomach and that overwhelming state of sadness knowing I will never get to see you again. I can't believe that after seven years there's still not a day goes by that you're not on my mind. It just seems to much for one person to feel. I can still hear you singing “You are the love of my life” to me in the middle of the post office that day. God it hurts so badly. I wonder if it will ever stop.

Laura

June 13, 2005

I felt the need to leave a reflection because Officer Gibson's EOW is the same as my fiance's. I know it's a strange connection, but it's odd what little things affect us.

Laura, I am amazed and inspired by your everlasting devotion to your husband. I know he is so proud of you and how far you have come since he had to leave. Take care of your daughter.

Thinking of you,
Jessi Garger
Fiancee of Cole Martin
EOW 4.25.03
Chatsworth, GA P.D.

June 3, 2005

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!! (I hope you liked your balloons) You would have been 33 today.
Love you!!!
Laura

Laura

May 4, 2005

Happy Anniversary! Today would have been our ninth one. Love you-

Laura

April 27, 2005

Wow..seven years today. Seven whole years since you've been gone. Seven long years of sleepless nights, tear-stained pillows, and me trying to figure out which side of the bed is mine now. I still don't understand why it had to happen and I know I never will, but it still breaks my heart to think about it. I just wish you were here to see so many things. It’s not fair that you’ll never get to see your daughter drive for the first time when she gets her learners on your birthday next week. It’s not fair that you weren’t there to see me graduate from the police academy and put on that police uniform for the first time. I felt the pride swelling up in me as I proudly donned the badge and gun. I knew that must have been how you felt every morning when you’d get dressed for work and a smile would come on your face every time you put that uniform on. Your chest would swell as you looked in the mirror standing beside of me – spending more time on your hair than I did :-) just to make sure that high and tight looked just perfect. You loved being a police officer. That was your life and you enjoyed it to the fullest. I’m glad you got to fulfill that dream, Allen, I just wished you could have enjoyed it longer. But until then just remember even though it’s been seven long years since your death - your badge is still around my neck and your place in my heart will never leave.
Loving you Always, Laura

Laura

April 25, 2005

ALLEN, WE IN THE PENNSYLVAINA STATE POLICE HONOR YOUR MEMORY AND PRAY FOR YOUR FAMILY AND OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN THE WAVERLY POLICE DEPARTMENT

CORPORAL
PENNSYLVANIA STATE POLICE

April 24, 2005

God I don't understand why after almost seven years there are still some days the pain is so great I don't think I can get up and go on. I just don't understand how just because of two men’s stupid senseless acts one beautiful Saturday morning that my life has been shattered and will never be "normal" again. It’s just not fair.

p.s. Thanks for the dreams..they keep me holding on.

Laura

February 2, 2005

Another Christmas without you. I know you are happy spending Christmas with Christ, but I still miss you. I still don't think it's fair. I was up late last night thinking of how differently life is now and how it used to be. I still remember the last Christmas we spent together. All bundled up on the couch you proudly gave me my gifts. It was a pair of shoes, pack of socks and a watch. (And yes, I still have them). I will never forget that. We didn't have the money to buy a slew of gifts like I do now, but we didn't seem to mind. Maybe it was the fact that we didn't know any better. We didn't know we were supposed to be flowered with gifts. After all, love was the one thing that was free to give. Boy...times sure were simpler then. I miss you. I hope you're having a great day in Heaven celebrating the birth of Christ.
Love Always..


(I find peace in this poem)


My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
with tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular please wipe away that tear
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you of the joy their voices bring
for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart-
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.

So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I can't tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place
Can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior face to face?

I'll ask him to lift your spirit as I tell him of our love.
So then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful and let your spirit sing-
for I am spending Christmas in Heaven and I'm walking with the King!

Laura

December 24, 2004

I had another hard night last night. I'm beginning to think they will never end. I keep hearing it will get easier with time and I can't help but wonder who made up that stupid saying. Sure, as time goes on you learn to better cope with the pain, but nothing gets "easy". I haven't had it easy in seven years. It’s just not fair. I hope one day when we are reunited in Heaven I will know why you had to leave me. I miss you...

Laura

December 2, 2004

Another year that you don't get to see your beautiful daughter on her birthday. She's a beautiful young lady now, turning the big 15 today. I can't believe it either. She's excited about getting her learners in May (She gets them on your birthday..May 4th). I miss you Allen. So many people misses you and still aches for you. We will never forget you nor let your memory die.

Laura

November 3, 2004

Another Halloween without you. I was thinking last night of the last Halloween we spent together. You had such a kick putting on that scary mask with your turn-out gear (firefighter's uniform) and sitting on the porch. Every time a kid would get to the porch you would jump at them and make them scream. Even though I thought it was a little mean we laughed and laughed. I miss you Allen so much I could just scream sometimes. I miss you playing tricks on everybody and I miss your sense of humor. I miss you making me laugh, and not just laugh, but laugh until I though I would die. It’s been six and half years now…I don’t think the pain will ever stop.

Laura

November 1, 2004

miss you.

Laura

September 23, 2004

Just thinking about you. It's so weird how sometimes I feel like you're still here. Like you're really not that far away. I like that Faith Hill song, You're Still Here. She sums it up when she says...and I woke up wondering what was real...is it what you see and touch or what you feel.
I miss you...
Love you always!

You're Still Here

Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
And I knew I couldn't be but my heart believed
Oh it seems like something everyday
How could you be so far away
When you're still here
When I need you you're not hard to find
You're still here
I can see you in my baby's eyes
And I laugh and cry
You're still here
I had a dream last night
That you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in the painted sky
And I woke up wondering what was real
Is it what you see and touch or what you feel
Cause you're still here
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been
You're still here
I heard you in a stranger's laugh
And I hung around to hear you laugh again
Just once again
Oh...
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away.
Away

Laura

June 29, 2004

05/24/04

The prosecutor in your case should have been disbarred for making such a plea bargain with your killers. What a travesty of justice. You will never be forgotten. Rest in peace Officer Gibson.

Captain Robert W Cannon, Ret.
Vermilion Co, Il. Sheriff's Dept.

May 24, 2004

I just got back from D.C. for Police Week. I really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I met a lot of people that were just like me. By the way, I put lots of stuff on the wall for you. I put lots of pictures and a letter from Crissana that your mom gave me and of course I had to leave lots of stuff myself. I hope you enjoyed them. Like I learned this past week...time does help heal but the pain is always there.
Love & miss you deeply!

Laura

May 18, 2004

Laura,

I read your poem on one of the officers reflection page. I was so touched by your words. Iam also a police officers wife and sister. I thank God everyday that I still have my husband and brother with me. I am so sorry for you and your family, my heart goes out to you. May God Bless YOU AND EVERYONE who Loved Allen.

Grace from New Jersey
A Police Dispatcher, wife and sister

May 6, 2004

Laura,

I just read your poem on Trooper Zimmerman’s reflection page. I was so touched by your words. I am also a police officers wife and sister. I am so sorry for the pain you and your family had to go through. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless

GRACE DOYLE N.J.

May 5, 2004

Happy Birthday Allen!! (05/04)
I just wanted you to know that I didn't forget. You're still on my mind every day. You would have been 32 today. Me & your mom were talking the other day about how you used to eat those huge bowls of applejacks all the time. That was so funny. I still have your "cereal" bowls. It's weird how I remember things all the time that makes me miss you even more.
Love you always!!!

Laura

May 4, 2004

Its odd that I have just learned of this site at the anniversary of your death. I think putting my thoughts out here will be therepeutic for me and others. You made such an indelible impression on us. Moving beyond the anger, outrage and sorrow has been difficult for your coworkers here in Waverly and our hearts are still very tender. Allen you are forever with us in our thoughts and hearts.

Pamela Diehl, Friend & Co-worker
Town of Waverly

April 28, 2004

Happy Anniversary Allen! Just wanted you to know that I didn’t forgot and you were on my mind today (as always).

About two months after you died I was at work one day having a hard time with everything that had happened and wishing that I could talk to you one more time. Then all of a sudden I felt the urge to write. So I picked up a pen and a piece of paper and I wrote the following words as fast as I could write. Then when I finished I sat back and read it and I balled my eyes out. It was as if you were talking to me from Heaven. This poem has since been used at several police officer's funerals. I hope it brings comfort to the widow left behind like it did me. I've never posted this poem here but I feel like our anniversary is the time to post it.
Love Always,
Laura
p.s. I hope you liked your flowers!!


A Police Officer’s Wife

I cannot believe this day has come
only two short years we've overcome.
Please dry your tears my loving bride
for I will still be right by your side.

I know you're young, but you must be strong.
And don't worry, for we won't be apart long.
I can't wait to see your beautiful face
and show you this glorious place.

The flag today they will hand to you.
They will dry your tears and salute you, too.
Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye,
you know I loved you, you know I tried.

My job called and I had to go
I just wished that you could know.
As I lay dying, I wasn't sad
for I saw God and he held my hand.

Now when times get hard,
hold your head up high.
If you feel you need to see me,
just look toward the sky.

Until we meet again on Heaven's bright shore,
I just have to tell you once more.
Remember Sweetheart, make the most of your life-
for you will always be
a Police Officer's Wife!

Written by Ofc. Laura D. Gibson © 2001

This poem is dedicated to the memory of my husband,
Officer Allen W. Gibson, Jr., who made the Ultimate Sacrifice on April 25, 1998.

Laura

April 27, 2004

Well, the day is finally here. It's now been six years. It's hard to believe, but I'm not as sad today as I thought I would be. I went to church this morning and as we were singing a song about the angels in Heaven it was as if I could see you celebrating in Heaven. We would have loved to have kept you here with us, but God had a different plan. He needed you with him. I know that you are celebrating in Heaven today, for today it your sixth year with the King!!
I love you and miss you as always...

Laura

April 25, 2004

It is hard to believe 6 years have passed since you were taken from us. Allen, you will always be remembered. We were talking today about the Shad Planking you attended and how much you enjoyed it. Even though you were only with us for a short time you touched all our lives. You continue to live in our hearts. We will never forget you.

Kathleen Mayes
Town of Waverly, Va

April 23, 2004

I'm really dreading 4/25 to get here. I hate when that day rolls around. It makes me sick every time. I am having a really hard time this year. I don't know why some days are harder than others. I guess I'll never know. I called your mom today and we talked a long time. She has really helped me deal with everything. God has really blessed them all. You would be proud of everything. I am going to put a bench up at the cemetery close to me so when I feel I need to be near you I can go there. I can't seem to find peace. Your mom is helping me to find out what it is that's tormenting me. I can't seem to let something go. I'm still having the nightmares and I really need God to help me with that. I have come to conclusion that I'll never be "over you" but I would like to be able to think happy thoughts when I think of you. Not sadness. Your mom read me that poem today about you being "free" and it has helped me realize that I shouldn't be sad for you because you are truly happy now. We'll get to be together again, but until then I'll continue to hate April the 25th.
Love you as always,
Laura

Laura

April 21, 2004

Well, it's been six years since you've been gone. Why do I still feel so angry? I should be better than this by now. When am I going to get over all the what-if's and if only's? When am I going to stop replaying the death in my head and what you must have been thinking? When am I going to be able to stop having flashbacks of the funeral? I turned around and saw them shutting the casket and I can't get that image out of my head. I should have been with you for those last moments. I should have gotten to say I love you one more time. It's not fair. We were so young. Why did I have to pick out a casket for you on our 2nd anniversary? Do you see the tears? Do you know how my heart still breaks? Do you know how many times I've dreamed about you? I feel like it just happened yesterday. I feel like it's getting worse instead of better. You don't have to worry about being forgotten because you never died in my heart.
I love and miss you...

Laura

April 19, 2004

I often visit this website after the death of two dear friends from the NCSHP (Troopers Calvin Taylor E.O.W. October 3, 2001 and Anthony Cogdill E.O.W. May 30, 2003).

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Patrolman Gibson. I am deeply saddened to see the death of another very young man. From the reflections written about Patroman Gibson, it is obvious that he was a wonderful man and trooper.

These are senseless occurrences that continue to happen. I hope you get some comfort knowing that prayers continue to go out for you and your family.

Thank you so much to the men and women who continue to serve their communities and this great Nation. God Bless You.

...Gone, but never Forgotten...

Marti (EMT-Paramedic)
Haywood Co EMS (NC)

April 4, 2004